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Newspaper
Carthage Record
Location
Carthage, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 05, 1906
Page
3
A collage of satirical quotes from Historic papers mocks Prohibition era views and consumer ads. It riffs on George Washington’s cherry tree myth and jokes about cocktails and cherries, Santa Claus disbelief, buckwheat cakes, and a Winslow's syrup ad, ending with a proverb about honor.
A Chicago News item notes a difficile family labor split with father nonparticipation while others work, including Fromma and Brother Bob in government roles. The piece questions work dynamics amid civic life. A separate ad promotes Dr Bayer's Penetrating Oil claiming rapid pain relief for rheumatism neuralgia toothache headache sciatica backache and more at 25 cents per bottle.
A Milwaukee Sentinel quip notes a palmist offered a reading for just one dollar and a half, highlighting the comic price. The item reflects a lighthearted newspaper voice and urban humor without elaboration.
An advertise promising cure for a cold in one day using laxative bromine quinine tablets. Druggists refund money if it fails to cure. Each box bears E. W. Grove's signature and is priced at 25 cents.
After a performance Sinickson remarks on Brightly appearing in private theatricals. Brightly explains he would have to sit in the audience and be bored to death otherwise, noting the stage was not his preferred arena. Philadelphia Press quotes the exchange.
A brief item from the Houston Post notes a maiden affronting a man in a dozen, refusing his advances with a slap that injures him, leaving both ears bruised and throbbing from the impact.
A patriotic citizen notes that successful people are reformers. Senator Sorghum agrees that reform must reach a basis where it can be paid, as quoted by the Washington Star.
A Puck cartoon caption jokes about a pair of office workers, the Eighth Vice President and the Tenth Assistant Actuary, quietly going in to draw their salaries, prompting playful disbelief from a bystander in New York.
A Washington Star exchange shows a wife replying to her husband about a deer hunting trip with the line accidents will happen. The remark signals a wry, slightly sarcastic tone within a casual domestic context.
R J Collier of New York who bought the Lincoln birthplace will present the property to the national government for a park. The Milwaukee Sentinel notes a social quip about aging and youth.
The excerpt lists diverse figures: the khedive of Egypt speaks six languages, Emperor William orders chauffeurs to abstain, Gov. Otero of New Mexico owns 65,000 sheep, the German empress loves flowers especially orchids, Prof Chiene jokes about retirement, Andrew Carnegie to attend Scots Charitable Society anniversary in Boston, Lord Inverclyde’s will leaves all to his wife, and John Plummer, Australian state journalist, earns 2000 a year writing pro Commonwealth pieces.
The passage quotes Methuselah laughing that he is the only man who saw a canal finished, lauding posterity as an advantage. The line appears in the New York Sun reflecting on long life and notable achievements.
In Vestry Mississippi a story from Mrs C W Pearson’s husband recounts her long illness and kidney trouble. He describes medical visits and claims Dodd's Kidney Pills restored her health, noting a weight gain of thirty pounds and overall improvement thanks to the medicine.
Detroit News reports a harsh run of cabinet etiquette rules including reading bans until censored, no talks with telephone operators, lights out by 9 p m and bed by 9 05 p m, punishments for speaking to correspondents, dining secrecy with head waiters, private rooms preferred, and prohibition on whiskers for ministers.
In a New York district an official tally showed McClellan with 157 votes in figures, but the written total read One hundred and seven. A judge asks for interpretation and a boy explains that the error stems from misspelling fifty, noting many similar mistakes exist.
A Denver reader credits Postum Food Coffee with curing chills fever headaches and indigestion tied to coffee consumption. She quit coffee six months ago and reports relief and improved digestion along with sustained health. Her daughter also stopped coffee and experienced no headaches improved memory and mental vigor.
A family trains crying infants to vocalize in musical keys using B-flat and E-natural tuning forks. Susan pairs forks with each child, rewarding progress by producing harmonies across the nursery. Alberta Clara and the younger twins acquire distinct cries, enabling themed chords for feeding and discipline moments.
In a peculiar dispute, X owed M twenty dollars and prepared a stamped sealed letter with a check inside. On the way to mail it, M abused X, who then showed the letter and threatened to destroy the check. X tore open the sealed envelope. M prosecutes X for tampering with the mails, claiming the letter was his property. the case may go to the United States Court.
The canny Scot Sandy, in a smoking car, asks each neighbor for a match but none have one. With a resigned look he concludes in broad Scots he must use one of his own.
A hotel guest asks about the bill while the clerk recalls cashing a $40 check for yesterday. The guest admits owing $5 and borrowing funds. The clerk states the bill will be reduced to $35.
A terse exchange hints at a courting scene as a daughter requests marriage while a parent questions propriety and readiness, signaling family approval debates and social expectations in a domestic setting.
Dr George F Butler medical superintendent at Alma Springs Sanitarium in Alma Michigan outlines health rules in How to Live. He warns appetite misleads and emphasizes digestion, tissue change removal of waste and new material. He advocates regular bowel function water exercise cold baths massage and gentle laxatives when needed while urging optimism kindness and timely deeds.
A playful dialogue where a teacher asks what each letter stands for in a cat spelling exercise. Bobby responds with a line about what Pa says to the cat, yielding a lighthearted, childlike miscommunication.
The notice promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure as an internal remedy that reaches the disease in the blood, claiming it is not a quack medicine and has been prescribed by top physicians. It emphasizes the pill as a tonic and purifier, with testimonials offered and Toledo, Ohio as the company location.
A remark from Charles M Seay about embalming among the advanced Negro population. He recalls a wealthy elder who embalmed his daughter and praised the work while noting the preserved scent of the departed. The anecdote ends with a critique of hollow faith.
A Minnesota woman from Stillwater credits Doan's Kidney Pills with curing long standing back pain and weakness. Mrs A Helman recalls nearly dying from kidney issues in 1899 before the remedy restored her health. She emphasizes lasting wellness since treatment and urges readers to consider the pill, noting price and the Foster Milburn Co as suppliers.
A Philadelphia minister famed for paying church debts avoids bazaars by hinting to husbands that a bazaar is needed. He explains to married members that funds are required, prompting donations without ever staging the sale. The tactic hinges on social influence rather than actual events.
London reports thousands suffer fog headaches from dense fogs. Eye and throat irritation, bilious sensation, and nerves strained by the murk. Remedy: escape the fog quickly. This London Mail note highlights urban exposure risks and discomfort in dense weather.
A steel merchant gave the German Emperor a pair of scissors valued near 500 dollars. The instrument bears the Emperor's portrait and famous buildings, engraved after five years of work by the engraver. A Kansas City World report notes the unusual gift and lengthy craftsmanship. A health claim follows about Spanish Cross Tea improving complexion by cleansing the liver and kidneys, priced at 25 cents per package.
A widower brings his second wife home and presents her as their new mother. The children study her briefly before the youngest asks bluntly if that is the best he could do, exposing a blunt family moment.
A brief quip from the New York Sun contrasts a costly education with a monetary exchange between a father and son. The sharp line highlights social attitudes toward wealth and parenting in the era. The exact speaker is attributed to a Knickerbocker voice.
A rooming house in central Louisville with 60 rooms lists monthly income of 450 dollars and profit of 200 dollars. No experience required. Offers swap and easy money. Requires 2500 dollars cash. Contact Kelly at 224 Third Street Louisville Ky for particulars.
The poem-like note notes experience teaching, races recurring, and tips misused as money is lost again. It cites the Washington Star and San Francisco Call as sources with a sly clerk joke about availability of something as good as the boss, hinting at betting and everyday folly.
A six month old boy with severe eczema improved after using Cuticura Soap Ointment and Resolvent. Crusts bled and spread over the body, but within ten weeks his skin became smooth and white. Statement by F Hobrath of C L Hobrath Company South Bethlehem Pa dated June 5 1905.
A reflective line on how a woman accepts compliments about her appearance. It suggests that many women do not doubt a man's assertion of their own beauty, accepting praise at face value regardless of its source.
A jumble of 19th century patent medicine pitches and mottos. Claims include Anti-Gripine promised to cure coughing and Piso's Cure for Consumption guaranteed, with testimonials from M. Swayze in Wakita Oklahoma and Mrs. Austin's Buckwheat flour advertisements.
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