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Newspaper
Canon City Record
Location
Canon City, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Dec 20, 1900
Page
7
Dr. Hoepfner an electrical mining engineer from Hamilton Ontario died in Denver last week. He was well known throughout Colorado.
A collection of quick wits and punch lines from jokes and quips. Includes household spoilage praise for field birds in crops, marriage proposals after a late evening, curious villagers inquiring about Magersfontein, a head injury described, and a doctor’s quip about a face through glass. Also features a teacher explaining harness and a pun on capital letters and full stops.
A Kansas City firm proposes turning Okmulgee Creek Nation grazing country into a vast wheat field. They have leased 25,000 acres and offer Indians 25 cents per acre for grazing and $1 per acre for cultivated lands. Plans include fencing, an orchard, and a house on each lease.
A list describes that bones divide into head trunk and limbs and food sustains life. It notes wheat as valuable for life producing elements, U S senators have staggered six year terms, center of gravity balances a body, and planets with satellites.
An advertisement extols Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery as aiding older men by reducing waste buildup, improving blood flow and digestion, and boosting overall health. Testimony from G. well of Eureka Springs credits relief from six years of constipation and regained health, aided by Pierce's medicines and his pellets for bowel activity.
An editorial piece discusses Japanese and Chinese immigration to Canada and the United States, noting passports, sureties, and outflow. It links railway and steamship ties to labor demand and argues Asiatic populations are undesirable. The page also features an herbal tonic advertisement for Tabler’s Buckeye Pile Ointment and HERBINE priced at 50 cents each, sold by Hunter Palmer.
A mix of aphorisms on marriage jealousy and social norms from Atchison Globe, paired with brief notes on health and a joke about an unscrupulous burglar. An herbal remedy ad and a local church bake sale are mentioned with small notices about a lawyer in New York and a humorous Harper's Round Table anecdote.
A New York World item recounts Captain McMullen's voyage on the St. Regulus from Hongkong with three snakes and a pig. The pig fed the largest python, biting off the reptile's weight, leading to the python's death. The column then shifts to varied vignettes including a Cuban teachers English trial, Pekin musical pigeons, an Italian electrician, ancient blue coral, and a butcher chewing a ten dollar bill with tobacco.
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