Mixup at Home Ends With Cheesy Confusion
A young wife visits a grocer angry at soap that supposedly washes itself. The grocer reveals she bought cheese and half a pound of soap by mistake, explaining the soapy miscue led to the Welsh rarebit joke. A prize of HM was awarded to M. L. G. Anderson of Jennings, West Virginia.
Untimely Thought and Dog's Disposition Sketches
A fragment from Lip Pincott's humor section includes a morbid verse by Thomas Bailey Aldrich about a bier and a late wife, followed by a Cleveland street incident where a street superintendent asks what to do with a dead dog and learns it was a savage disposition.
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Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Cleveland
Ilicer
Horner Street
Vis
Endurance Builds Strength Against Fortune and Misfortune
The passage argues there is no easy proof of virtue and that fortune punishes and tests us. By frequent use and exposure to danger, the body and mind grow tougher, enabling the soul to despise misfortune and endure hardship.
King Edward and the Grandchildren After Coronation
After coronation King Edward lay recovering from appendicitis when he called his grandchildren to his bedside. The youngsters whispered in awe as they spoke with him before being sent away. Prince Eddie asked to see the baby, showing the family’s hopeful interest.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Edward
Prince Eddie
Dream ladder to heaven gag ends with chalk joke
Willie tells his father a dream where St Peter leads him to climb a chalk marked ladder to heaven. The punch line arrives when Willie says the father comes down for more chalk to write sins and the boy asks why, revealing the humor of the tale.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Willie
Papa
St. Peter
Heaven
Brewster Attacks Railroad Over Franchises in Philadelphia
Benjamin H. Brewster of Philadelphia and former attorney general rode to the defense of the Pennsylvania Railroad in a bitter trial over franchise rights. In closing, an opposing lawyer denounced the railroad as a dark, devious outfit, likening its methods to the chief attorney and his henchman.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Benjamin H. Brewster
Philadelphia
Arthur
Pennsylvania Railroad
Brewster
Brewster Gives Calmed Explanation In Court
In a crowded courtroom Benjamin Brewster explains a boyhood accident that left him scarred. He recounts saving his sister from a fire while another suffered injuries and asserts he bears the scars without self pity or blame.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Benjamin Brewster
Brewster
Slater
Teresa Carreno and Third Husband Highlighted by Critics
The pianist Mme Teresa Carreno married three times with Eugene d Albert as her third husband. In Berlin at the seventh or eighth Philharmonic concert she played a familiar piece and Otto Lessmann remarked she did not perform it as well as when she first played the Second Concerto of her third husband at the fourth Philharmonic.
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Mme
Teresa Carreno
Eugene d’ Albert
Philharmonic
Berlin
Otto Lessmann
Ladies* Home Journal
The Right Word In the Right Place Mock Purchase
A traveler returns from San Francisco amazed by the ruins and restoration. A sly stranger moves through the car offering a pocket-sized book titled The Right Word In the Right Place for 25 cents, preying on the man’s awe.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
San Francisco
Schopenhauer on Erudition and Thought
The excerpt argues that constant reading drains mental elasticity like a spring under pressure. It notes erudition quenches original thought and renders most men more stupid and less successful writers. It warns against filling every idle moment with books to avoid dulling creativity.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Schopenhauer
The Good Boy Jack Prindle Says He Has Been Good
A mother listens as her son Jack Prindle proudly lists chores and manners. He claims to have avoided misdeeds all day and ends with I haven't forgotten a damn thing. Mrs. Prindle bursts into tears in front of guests.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jack Prindle
Jack
Jack Dear
Grace
An Agreeable Settlement Between Tony and Merchant
A dialogue-driven dispute shows Merchant pressing Tony over debts to both the speaker and Mr. Knox. Tony proposes a plan to pay the merchant and express sympathy for Knox, claiming to have pondered the issue for weeks and offering a settlement approach.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tony
Mr. Knox
Sir Walter Scott Laughs in Quiet Humor
A vivid portrait describes Sir Walter Scott enjoying laughter with radiant dignity. The text traces his laughter from a shy, wheezy spark to a full, restrained mirth that crowns his speech with emphatic, Scots-inflected cadence and a plaintive, buoyant cadence.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Walter Scott
Angzh
Chanticleer
Professional Advice From Tom Ochiltree on Crane Crutches
Tom Ochiltree, injured in a railroad accident, seeks damages. He walks with crutches months later and quips that his doctor says he can row, but his lawyer says he cannot.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tom Ochiltree
Tom
Ochiltree
Bertie Overcomes Fear as Henry Rescues on Tracks
Bertie idolizes Aunt Helen and Henry Strong while facing tension over duty and distance. A scare on the railroad track ends with Henry saving Bertie and Aunt Helen realizing her misgivings. The trio reconciles as Bertie sleeps peacefully, protected by both.
Carpeau Sculptor and the Cyclops Joke
The bohemian sculptor Carpeau known for absentminded wit once lighted a pipe from a chandelier at Napoleon III and Eugenie. He mocked a patron by presenting a rough clay rock as Polyphemus crushing Acis, noting the Cyclops would not stay after such an act.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Carpeau
Tuileries
Napoleon III
Eugenie
Cyclops Polyphemus
Carpeauu
Acis
Polyphemus
Madness Test In Laos Shocks French Indo China Village
A report from the Sonth China Post describes a harsh sanity test in an undeveloped Laos region. Lunatics believed to be sane swim a river to prove soundness while the unlucky sink and are left to drift, with the village then isolating those deemed unfit.
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China
Laos
Sonth
China Post
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