Husband jokes about widow life in quick quip
Mrs Henpeck asks what husband would do if she died and would he remarry. He answers he would not be as crazy as that, a witty exchange cited by the Saint Paul Pioneer Press.
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Newspaper
Cambridge City Tribune
Location
Cambridge City, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Dec 24, 1908
Page
4
Mrs Henpeck asks what husband would do if she died and would he remarry. He answers he would not be as crazy as that, a witty exchange cited by the Saint Paul Pioneer Press.
A line from Stray Stories discusses secrets as spoken by a woman, contrasting views of whether a secret is worth keeping or too good to reveal. The exchange involves Parks and a narrator noting the differing attitudes toward secrecy.
Captain George Walder of the Cornell football team dominates the article as the line breaker and key leader. It notes Ithaca’s offense relies on his heavy attack and punting, with the line facing unprecedented challenges this season. Walder vows to deliver a strong year despite an unsettled squad.
Newspapers pose a paradoxical baseball puzzle about the maximum possible hits without scoring. The solution claims fifty four hits by six per inning, with a convoluted sequence involving steals and outs, then notes the scenario is theoretical and impractical in practice.
John E B Madden earned praise as Plaudit colt sire after King James won the Annual Champion stakes at Gravesend New York. Madden's two year olds dominate metropolitan tracks with Sir Martin as champion two year old and Fayette close behind. Sir Martin has eight wins and four seconds totaling about 75 900 dollars. plans call for sending Sir Martin Fayette and Lady Bedford to England after the season.
The article contrasts good hitters with hard hitters noting they are not always the same. It explains that some hitters achieve high averages without driving the ball with great force, while others may hit hard but not accumulate big averages.
George O. Barclay, a former Lafayette College man, coaches the 19th century Lafayette football team this year. He left college in 1899 to join Rochester in the Eastern baseball league and was with that club when it won the pennant.
Tad Jones pays tribute to Tibbott the Prince as one of the season’s best backs. Walter Osmo omits Tibbott in his praise.
Four year old Clyde and his father walk in meadows and discover tadpoles. Clyde asks what they are and suggests taking them home. A frog crosses their path and Clyde wonders aloud about the difference between him and his father.
A Nova Scotia magistrate hears a case of a young Scotch emigrant who deserted his farm job over spoiled meat scraps described as brakeshaw. The piece recaps ancient fashion jargon from a 1787 fashion journal, noting terms like stiffed sighs and beggar on horseback that now hold no clear meaning.
The Greenwich Observatory in England maintains the standard time for Europe using a pendulum clock kept accurate by an electro magnet. The device nudges the pendulum to correct any excess or deficiency, ensuring the clock never runs more than one tenth of a second fast or slow.
A round table party game has players sit in a circle. Each asks the neighbor to the right and hears an answer. In turn each recites the question from the left neighbor and the answer from the right neighbor. Players agree on the question type to heighten amusement such as asking why a neighbor does certain things. The variant called predicaments gives a right hand predicament and a left hand solution.
The article explains starch granules in kernels soften and swell when heated in water. Moisture becomes steam as heat rises, the grain expands and loses moisture, then becomes brittle and bursts, releasing the puffed popcorn.
Acurate tale recalls a street urchin who rose via headlines and publicity to a dramatic leap from the Brooklyn Bridge. The bootblack, later known as Steve Brodie, seized fame and fortune prospects after surviving a perilous plunge into the East River amid a nation awash in sensational press.
Mr Bragdon, once a devoted car owner, buys a motor boat for river enjoyment. After two years of driving cars he takes a lesson, goes out, returns soaked and disheveled, and reveals he toppled over the side while attempting repairs.
A Montpelier physician in France long ago used a ruse to travel unseen. He claimed a valuable lost dog and paid 25 louis to the finder, while the public crier boasted his honors. The town buzzed with talk and patients flocked to the doctor.
The famed French lawyer Lachaud notices a hostile juror during a case. A sunbeam highlights the bald head of the juror and he requests the curtain be lowered. The tactic wins the juror over and aids his argument.
An old advertisement touts Wilson Stomach Elixir as a universal remedy for indigestion constipation acidity headaches sleeplessness and weak heart. It claims to restore health by correcting stomach trouble and offers bottles at 1.00 each or six for 5.00 available through Dean House druggist in Cam City and sale by Wilson Chemical Co. in Sidney Ohio.
A dialogue fragment notes concern over drafting numbers and public divorces. Pearl asks about reduced drafting and Manoa, while Ruby jokes about lawyers posting signs for confidential divorces. The piece conveys satirical tone from a Pittsburgh Post perspective.
The Kansas City Times quotes a bride to be noting her shower gifts are lovely yet mismatched while her mother adds that in a china shower one must expect broken lots.
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