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Newspaper
Bryan Morning Eagle
Location
Bryan, Texas, United States of America
Date
Oct 11, 1903
Page
4
A dialogue contrasts crow quill pens with steel pens praising their finer points and delicacy. A flirtatious vignette follows with a young wife lamenting a picky master and a sympathetic cook noting the hardship of living with such a man.
In a London Tit-Bits scene a cabman and an old gentleman in a crawling four-wheeler exchange quick wits. The rider quips of not heading to a funeral while the cabman fires back that they won’t reach a fire either.
An Irish MP's contempt of court bill was sent to him in Kilmainham jail during his three month term. In Japan two convicts were executed at Ichigaya prison, one noting he built the guillotine while jailed for larceny. A Staffordshire tale tells of a man drowning his dog to avoid a license, then drowning himself.
The article explains how leaf arrangement and shape maximize sunlight capture. Equatorial plants bear broad leaves like banana and cactus, while higher latitudes favor smaller leaves and pine needles. Australian gum trees shed moisture by turning edges to the sun to survive arid conditions.
A boy delivers a note meant for a bald Dr. Smith Theobald Smith a lecturer in bacteriology at Columbian University verifies the envelope The boy admits confusion and ends up delivering to the correct recipient amid light humor Magelssen Beirut Syria vice consul killed in a city Syrians debate motive and religion versus personal grievance in New York news coverage
A critic recalls a June visit to Dumas at Boulevard Malesherbes where women admirers surround the famed writer. The scene features life size Faust frescoes, a lionlike host, and a romantic, courtly atmosphere that underscores Dumas’s creator persona. A second vignette shows a patient and physician exchange over medicine, ending with the physician leaving.
A Dakota ranchman weighs deer and antelope speed, claiming a first class cow pony can outrun any deer on level ground within two miles with a head start. He notes deer bound uphill as fast as level, their vitality, and the risky tactic of shooting running deer. Source: New York Press.
A London Spectator report notes animals react differently to instruments. Zebras wild asses deer and an ostrich react with rage to the piccolo while a tiger sleeps until the piccolo stops then calms, purring and sleeping as a flutist plays. The tiger's response shifts with instrument choice.
Dialog from a humor column notes Mrs. Bangs quickly remarries to secure her late husband’s legacy. Old Bangs explains the clause reversion to a distant relative, revealing a clever plan. The mock exchange highlights wit from Smart Set.
A Baltimore Herald snippet humorously distinguishes galleries in a congress setting. It notes the ladies' gallery the men’s gallery the press gallery and asks where the rogues' gallery would be while pointing out where congressmen sit on the main floor.
A compilation of witty maxims and observations on friendship adversity vanity tramp and honesty attributed to Everybody's Magazine. The text playfully contrasts virtue with folly and notes social behavior with humorous aphorisms.
A faded prisoner before a magistrate laments his ruin and road from Boston. The judge condemns the depth of his fall yet chafes at the magistrate’s grammar, calling it the final blow. The scene unfolds in a crowded dingy court as the man endures arrest and humiliation.
A brief quip from the Cleveland Plain Dealer notes a light hearted exchange about a passing acquaintance. The exchange mentions a shared board table and a pun on the word passing.
A doctor tells Jack he has studied too hard and should spend more time in society to rest his brain. The remark appears in Brooklyn Life as a light quip about study and social balance.
A brief dialogue snippet shows She Mamma forbidding praise and He replying that encouragement is unnecessary, attributed to the Philadelphia Press.
The tale depicts Mary a domestic worker who gives notice of marriage prompting in-house distress. Her employer pleads for a delay but Mary argues that men must be seized when ready, saying you cannot nail them if you don’t nail them then. The joke relies on a provocative punch line about “nailing” husbands.
A short dialogue fragment notes Mildred Gildersleeve almost persuaded Mr Fillmore to propose, with Miss Bunting and Mr Larkin quipping about the ease of advising others. A schoolmaster adds a reflective line on the strong advising the weak and the well advising the sick.
In a light anecdote the Chicago Record-Herald notes a cottage by the lane housing a poet whose verse made Beasley associated with a famed shaving soup. A mansion on a nearby hill is linked to the Beasley name as well.
In a humorous exchange Fitz-Bile notes Kerr Mudgeon’s unexpected kindness to a woman while Van Schmidt questions it. The dialogue, cited from the New Orleans Times-Democrat, hinges on perceptions of Kerr Mudgeon’s character.
A witty dialogue from the Boston Transcript questions if a father can keep his children’s respect. Midgett suggests sending them away as soon as they begin to notice.
A Philadelphia hotel chef argues that true roasting, not oven baking, yields tastier and more digestible meat. He notes sight and aroma boost digestion, urges a return to spit roasting despite common practice among most American cooks.
The article discusses sanctity and simplicity in religious painting, noting Raphael’s St Cecilia as a rare exception with a row of pearls and three pendants at the neckline. The gems symbolize chastity, highlighting the saint’s refined, understated beauty amid overall austere decoration.
A Chicago Tribune item notes a shopkeeper explaining pricing by shoe size to a polite customer. The exchange includes a sharp schoolmaster remark and a general adage about complaint. The snippets illustrate attitudes toward wealth and customer service in period dialogue.
Miss Louisa M. Alcott recalls Emerson’s waning memory as a sign of wit not decline. England markets in plovers eggs from lapwings fetch high prices among the aristocracy, gathered from marsh nests. Michael Angelo, wounded on a scaffold, seeks death but is saved by physician Baco Rontini who learns of his despair.
Houston Post reports Gladys prepared to sing to Rushmore when a mouse crossed her ankle. Rushmore reportedly swiped the phonograph record, prompting a blood curdling college yell claimed as the most frightening ever heard by the class.
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