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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bryan Morning Eagle
Location
Bryan, Texas, United States of America
Date
Feb 22, 1907
Page
3
Poem by Strickland W Gilililan in Judge ridicules a dimwitted man who bores and harms others. It notes his lack of intelligence, a dangerous boast, and his social token as a charter member. The speaker laments his impact, recounting contempt and hypocrisy around his behavior.
A set of brief jokes and witticisms with misfired memory, a ventriloquist shade, mushrooms versus toadstools, and a student praised by his teacher. The items showcase classic punchlines and light domestic humor from a newspaper humor page.
A distressed couple once in love, driven from home by stern parents, contemplate selling the wife’s hair to stave off starvation. The wife offers a three guinea switch to buy food, the husband resists, and the tale ends with a comic misadventure about a dressing plot from Mrs. Du Ille-John as a punchy comic aside.
A brief dialogue fragment contrasts jokes on women and humor. A man claims it is easy to amuse a pretty girl who smiles, while the woman questions whether women have no sense of humor.
A street chat in a Scottish city features Tam confessing a near romance with Kate McAllister who lacked funds, prompting a bold, now scornful self remark on manhood and contempt. A joke about child and boss riles the ranch talk while misprints echo in column scraps from Chicago and Milwaukee.
A burglar and a rich man trade quips as the thief reaches for silver, the scene unfolding with tense humor atop the stairway. The exchange hinges on wit and a sudden shift in power as the intruder declares service while the owner demands restraint.
A Chicago Daily News quip notes a bald headed barber earns business by not separating a patron from the price of hair tonic. The exchange features a wise guy and a simple person in a concise urban joke.
A judge recalls a witty remark about a writer who produced a clever article on living on a thousand a year but failed to leave any money to subscribe to magazines. The quip underscores a practical oversight in aspiration versus means.
A brief item from the Milwaukee Sentinel notes a fleeting moment or sentiment titled No Dream, with an aside about valuing a kiss and a casual remark on pausing to inquire, reflecting a small newspaper snippet.
A caring mother cautions Freddy about a shaky bridge and urges him to let his father go first, prioritizing safety in a tense moment. The dialogue hints at family dynamics and concern over a hazardous crossing.
A Chicago Daily News quip notes a prospective tenant and a janitor jokingly discussing rents. The janitor says the owner prefers chess players because they rarely move, implying stability in tenancy. The remark plays on the stereotype of chess players as infrequent movers.
A witness testifies about being in a saloon during the cited assault scene. The lawman questions if the barkeeper was noted at the time, but the witness replies uncertainty about the bartender’s name while confirming he observed others’ actions.
A Yonkers Statesman quip questions male behavior at church with a playful exchange about hats or bonnets and seating. The joke hinges on tradition and social observation.
New York's stage scene brims with novelty as Joe Weber stages a critic-only trial of two new pieces "The Dream City" and "The Magic Knight" featuring Cecilia Loftus and Lillian Blauvelt. Otto Harlan, Fritzi Scheff and Lina Abarbanell also figure in a bustling program of burlesque and comic opera amid Herbert music and German stage traditions.
A wealthy old man, intent on leaving his fortune to a friend, changes his will after learning his nephew has become rich. The lawyer notes the irony and the man insists the nephew will laugh at his fortune. The aged client decides the nephew should be the sole legatee.
The article notes that double entry bookkeeping involves two sets of books and that one set may be produced in court if required, highlighting its role in legal and financial accuracy.
Southern California seeds fuel a growing industry with widespread plant material distribution. California boosts flower seed fame, exports, and innovation led by Luther Burbank, expanding sweet pea cultivation and drawing national and international attention to regional growers.
The 1906 gunnery report for King Edward's ships notes average points per man rising from 68.2 to 80. The Drake and King Edward VII lead the top 15 with high hit counts. Courts will be set for the worst performers as fleets and squadrons are ranked by firing averages.
Mrs Wattleson won $250 for a magazine piece on living comfortably on $1,000 annually. She had told a few days earlier that she needed extra money since she and her husband could not manage on his $75 weekly income.
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