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Newspaper
Browning Leader Record
Location
Browning, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Mar 24, 1905
Page
2
A collection of satirical observations and witticisms touching politics, industry, and society. Items reference Napoleon, Italy, Wall Street, John L. Sullivan, Rockefeller, Dr Osler, and Marie Wark, with quips on science, fashion, sex roles, and trust behavior.
A New York woman agreed to pay $1,000 per volume for Dickens's works, overlooking the fact that several volumes were written after he turned 49.
The Dowager Empress of China sent the president a portrait that makes her seem twenty years younger, a gesture likely to be appreciated by every American woman.
A Boetos man asserts the earth is a fist though observers note automobile manufacturers still tout the hill climbing abilities of their vehicles. The fragment reflects satire on science belief and industry hype.
An erroneous quote claims Russell Gage called John D. Rockefeller's car purchase a foolish extravagance. The item misattributes words to Gage and references Rockefeller, noting confusion over the quotation.
The report says railway communications behind the Russian army may be cut with no official dispatches issued. General Linevitch withdraws a remaining 35 000 troops toward Harbin under pressure from Kawamura Nogi and Oku. The Mukden setback and Oyama’s pursuit raise fears of further losses and artillery sacrificed in haste.
A full oil portrait of the late James G. Blaine by Thorpe has arrived in the Capitol. It will be hung with other speakers’ portraits in the McCleary committee room once approved. Blaine long opposed such portraits citing superstition about death from being depicted.
Emperor Nicholas approves council decision to replace General Kuropatkin with Grand Duke Nicholas Nicholaievitch to halt internal intrigues. General Soukhoumlineff named chief of staff.
Copenhagen reports a settled cabinet crisis in Norway with Nicholson appointed premier and Loveland heading the state council section at Stockholm. Other ministers include Gen. Olssen Lehmkuhl Voght Hagerup Bull Vinjo Archander Wexelsen and Knudson.
In New York, bankers report negotiations are under way to place a Japanese loan with German bankers in Berlin. Advices indicate the talks have been ongoing for several days and a definite announcement is expected soon.
Denver Police Captain William Bohanna dies from gunshot wounds after being shot by George Bhissier last Sunday. Bohanna becomes the fifth fatality in the spree attributed to the deranged gunman.
Washington reports Senator W. J. Stone of Missouri is announced for Manila duties or travel. The action signals a political or diplomatic appointment related to the Philippine capital.
In St Petersburg the imperial order dismisses General Kuropatkin with the word disgrace and appoints General Linovitch to lead the struggling forces against Japan. The decision follows the Mukden disaster as the retreating Russian army, unable to regroup, fights on under new command in a pivotal moment of the war.
Petersburg dispatch reports Tsarskoe-Selo meeting to affirm continued hostilities. Discussed were wartime options and succession plans with no final decision on Kurapatkin. Named candidates include Grand Duke Nicholaevitch and Gripenberg, but Sukhomirinoff reportedly favored by advisers.
The Missouri Senate adopted the House amendment to Morton's bill to place the St. Louis excise commissioner on salary. The amended bill sets the salary at 5000 dollars with 4000 dollars for clerical help and directs remaining collected fees to the state treasury. Saloon licenses incur an 18 dollar annual fee. The measure would bring about 10000 dollars into the treasury, previously paid to the excise alone.
Paris reports the postponement of Russia’s 160 million dollar loan, a terrible blow that may push the Czar toward peace. French financiers show reluctance to advance funds amid ongoing war uncertainties.
Evansville Indiana reports the Ohio River rising rapidly due to snowmelt and late rains. The river stands at 36 feet, one foot above the danger line, causing brief floods on lowland farms with little material damage.
The Abilene Republicans nominated Herbert L. Humphrey for mayor and William Page was wounded in Memphis Missouri. Finlay Rose beat G H Stewart for Witchita mayor in Republican primaries. Also noted are a Kansas Oklahoma and Indian Territory thrashers convention in Witchita, a DC former supreme court member Charles C Cole dying of pneumonia, and bank capital changes in Manchester Missouri and St Louis.
Local Rebecca of Topeka Kansas writes to thank Dean's Kidney Pills for kidney trouble and related ailments. She reports relief after one box and notes she was well before finishing a second package. A free trial offer and 60 cent price are listed. Also a humorous exchange with an examining physician about insurance risks.
A back and forth over wallcovering at the Modern Cottage shows the paper hanger arguing the plaster is the issue while the owner asks to avoid removing plaster by papering over the old layer. The debate centers on stripping versus preserving plaster.
A light exchange between Dolly Semis and Charlie Dinbats in Town Topics. He asks for a signal before singing to send flowers, she notes she only cares for flowers on hats rather than gifts.
A Boston Tran script scene features Clara recalling a flirtatious exchange with Aunt Jane. Aunt Jane questions Clara’s beauty while a young suitor’s opinion remains implied. Clara notes her beauty is acknowledged after she lowers the gaslight.
In a small domestic vignette a husband asks why his wife wants the top floor. She replies the elevator would ease bringing up the children, describing the household freight payer as the reason for their choice.
The excerpt notes a discussion about wealth, with reference to a “rich uncle” whom the subjects expect to benefit. The exchange contrasts “comparative” and “relatively,” signaling a cautious appraisal of financial status and future prospects.
A woman writes about using Grape-Nuts for six months and credits the cereal with improving health and strength. She notes weight rising from 108 to 126 pounds, muscles firming and nerves steadier, and declares she will never return to meat and white bread.
Letters from Americans settling in western Canada describe thriving agriculture with wheat barley and dairy mixed farms. Reports from Medicine Hat Lethbridge and Hartney note ploughing springlike weather and early bricklaying while railroads boost passenger and freight capacity.
A slave recalls sensing an imminent battle as Stonewall Jackson prayed in the night. He notes the general’s quiet rituals and his own readiness to move, sensing duty and impending action before others.
A Scotch doctor teaching the laird’s butler how to measure the master's temperature discovers the laird has died at two o'clock. The butler’s puzzled reply reveals the fatal outcome, turning a training moment into a grim confession.
A Smithville Missouri brief reports a young man in Platt County faces a dilemma. He courts a town girl who will not live on a farm and refuses his plan to move to town for another job unless he keeps his farm. The couple remains unsettled.
A New York Weekly piece features a boastful quote about rapid skating instruction. It claims a girl can be taught to skate in a day and a fool can stand on his own in a month, prompting skepticism about the methods and authority of the speaker.
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