18 Oct 1879
Page 1
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Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Oct 18, 1879
Page
1
Transient ads priced at one inch for one week at one dollar with each extra week costing twenty five cents. Twelve lines nonpariel type equals one inch. Special notices for marriages and deaths double rates. Yearly ads available on reasonable terms with limits to the advertiser's own business. Submissions must be received by Thursday noon for next issue insertion.
In New Hampshire a bashful Reverend Peter Palmleaf hires Dolly Darrow thinking she is Bridget and returns with her to the parsonage. Dolly proves clever, brave, and amused by the mistaken engagement, ultimately accepting Palmleaf as a future wife after a playful ruse turns earnest.
A colored preacher from Society Circle to Conyers Georgia asked for a fare home after preaching. He received ninety five cents, needed a dollar, and requested the extra five cents. A brother gave a one dollar bill and kept the ninety five cents in nickels. The preacher learned the dollar was counterfeit when shown to the ticket agent.
A New York letter argues pastors, doctors, and lawyers grow rich with age while young entrants start poor, chasing fame and fortune. It notes wealth concentrates in clergy and physicians, and comments on society's pursuit of sensationalism and public trials. It also surveys Halloween charms, Irvingism, and the spread of the Catholic Apostolic church.
A New York Times Sunday feature tells of a woman aboard a yacht who demonstrates peeling onions without crying. She coolly slices red onions under water, removes rings, and asks who will kiss her fingers, proving she can handle onions without tears.
A Baltimore Sun correspondent from Birmingham critiques England’s midland social lines. He contrasts the landed gentry with wealthier upstarts, arguing the two classes remain utterly apart in Warwickshire’s “county family zones.”
From France comes a silk born not of a silkworm but an insect found on ailanto trees in Paris. Discovered by M le Doux, the insect yields a soft lustrous ecru silk strong, cheap, and stylish enough to let silkworms go to grass. Anyone can grow it at home by planting Japan ailanto trees on streets America.
The essayist ANE alish argues that la ziness b ribts fat and insists no real ambitious man bears excessive flesh. He contends that true drive is found in lean resolve, not corporeal weight.
A farmer visits the police to share multiple theories about a stolen hog. He suggests theft by a butcher, then says the hog was chloroformed and dumped in the river, then accuses neighbors of theft, later proposes the hog escaped to an oat-field, finally concluding the mystery with minimal further action.
A Maine or New Hampshire stranger arrives at a wholesale grocery, offers to lift and carry a coffee sack twice, and earns a year long partnership at 100 dollars a month after proving the feat. The tale ends with the man becoming senior partner worth a million dollars. Also recounted is Mr Hawthorne losing a 600 dollar diamond pin to a hen on Broadway, leading to a mass culling of 72 dozen chickens to recover the jewel for 28 dollars.
A historic note recalls a man not seasick crossing a channel in rough water. He endures being hauled up rolled down a hill for the amusement of small boys who will become Britain’s future public.
A wise Deacon tells Brother Taylor how Hop Bitters kept his family well during a sick season and saved doctor bills. He says three dollars' worth lasted, unlike neighbors who spent much more on medical care. Deacon vows to use the medicine next.
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