07 Nov 1885
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Nov 07, 1885
Page
1
The poem lampoons readers and contributors who seek fame or favors from a paper. It catalogues types: the witty writer, the artist, the joke creator, the lunching regular, the political critic, and the editor’s idle audience. A moral concludes readers should feel the sting of being missed or not.
A Detroit Free Press excerpt depicts a satirical lodge meeting where Brudder Johnson faces public rebuke for promoting a theory about Canada thistles and mustard plasters. The president denounces speculative theories as idle, urging Johnson to retire briefly with Brudder Jones.
The article explains the bee's work in gathering clover honey. It calculates that to produce one pound of honey, a bee must visit 3,500,000 clover tubes, given 7,000 grains per pound and each tube holding a tiny sugar portion.
Report notes discovery of coins and Canadian pieces in Jumbo the elephant's stomach after the keeper examined remains. The appearance of espenpes coppers is recorded alongside other found items.
A Waterbury Connecticut resident, L Fenner, reports a long Liver Complaint relief after using Sulphur Bitters. He credits three bottles for his recovery and shares the testimonial in this compact notice.
Strange night of misadventure ends with a mistaken burglary capture and a wife’s rescue. Moses Cradliff locks up Cyrus by mistake while Cyrus and neighbors trap a real thief. The thief escapes. the wife is found to be Joe Ferris’s wife, leading to a town-wide unraveling and a sobering moral about mistaken accusations.
A reflective miscellany extols forgiveness over revenge and kindness as a path to healing. It argues human nature is generally kind but limited by perception, urging self mastery of evil passions, wise conscience, and devoted humanitarian work without seeking praise.
A compact quotation by Edward Garret asserts that if we stray toward wrong paths, another, better route exists. It emphasizes personal responsibility for discovering constructive options rather than blaming fate or God.
The quotation reflects on deep human love and noble nature recognizing a friend in need. It emphasizes that despite human pettiness, Christ remains unashamed to love us and support us. The message centers on humility, compassion, and divine acceptance.
A reflective remark about thinking with the multitude and potential shared views. The speaker envisions future rendezvous on common ground and a merged path of thought, but notes such unity requires a radical shift in place and a constitutional change.
The excerpt quotes Lord Chesterfield critiquing worldly pleasures as shallow and illusory. He claims to have seen behind the scenes of the gaudy display, noting coarse devices and dirty ropes powering social spectacle, and compares past thrills to an opium dream.
A Philadelphia Call piece offers advice on becoming a good listener. It urges maintaining eye contact, avoiding interruptions, and showing genuine interest. The guidance stresses tempering talk with humility, refinement, and courtesy while respecting sacred subjects and truth.
An exchange notes many puns about Dr Ball's Cough Syrup and says the press should notice it. Salvation Oil is recommended for rheumatism gout neuralgia sciatica and similar pains when rubbed in. It kills pain and is priced at 25 cents.
An Illinois Central conductor recounts two wary women at a rural crossing who misread a sign and waited for a train they could not see. They hear a bell, cling to a horse and lines, and avert the danger with mounting nerves as a stray cow's bell distracts them.
An advertisement letter by Wm. Kay of 570 Plymouth Ave Buffalo NY endorses Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil as a positive cure for croup and colds.
A consumer note claims tomato juice is excellent for removing ink wine and fruit stains. It suggests applying the juice to the fabric and blotting to lift marks. The tip appears in a periodical urging practical household hacks.
A testimonial touts Ely's Dream Balm as a cure for catarrh hay fever and colds with instant relief. It criticizes liquids and claims easy finger application at 50 cents, while a user from St Denis Hotel New York credits Ely's Cream Balm with overcoming headaches and nasal discharge.
The line reads a line from Puck quoting a mother saying it is the boy's mother who often asks what causes pain.
Mr. Wm. Thomas of Newton Indiana reports his wife suffered a cough for twenty five years and worsened in spring. After trying many remedies she used Dr. King’s New Discovery with great relief and finally cured. Trial bottles free at J H Young Co Drug Store. large size one dollar.
In London a weary Duke of Wellington receives an inventor pushing a bullet proof cuirass. The tester is lured into a live-fire setup and, when the cuirass fails, the intruder escapes by leaping through a window, vanishing from sight.
The piece describes the old time custom of flinging stockings at weddings with bridesmaids leading the ritual. It notes folkloric omens that if a bridesmaid’s stocking lands on the groom’s head, he will marry soon, and a groom’s stocking thrown by a groomsman predicts the bride’s quick nuptials.
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