07 Mar 1885
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Mar 07, 1885
Page
1
A hat factory worker claims to finish hats faster but a lank stranger notes his slower pace. The man bets five dollars he can outwork all, only to learn his pension request is denied. The visitor is revealed as a Pension Bureau detective.
A Central market peanut dealer seeks a reading and writing capable boy to help at his stall. A colored man on Calhoun street offers a wary test of honesty, while an Austin physician greets schoolchildren with a humorous exchange about a father’s fifty dollar bill.
Advertises VEGETINE as a root bark and herb remedy that is easy to take and popular with children, highlighting its agreeable flavor and broad appeal.
An advertisement claims Parker's Tonic strengthens the body and cures stomach liver and kidney ills while stimulating without intoxicating and supposedly curing the appetite for liquor, contrasting with quack nostrums and parental fears of alcohol.
Wyry the drunkardie and J N Young & Co promote an agency for Dr King’s New Discovery for consumption with a guaranteed cure and free trial bottle. The ad also asserts enduring reliability and stock of popular articles while warning that beauty and prosperity alike are subject to change.
In Drake's Traveler's Magazine, Mrs Spoopendyke muses about joining the stage during a playful domestic scene with her husband. He mocks her acting dreams and catalogues comedic missteps as they improvise a pretend rehearsal, ending with a smashed china prop and humorous fallout.
A reflective miscellany argues that wealth and time corrupt less than excess desire for power or knowledge. It extols domestic harmony, charity, and simple fireside contentment while warning that life weaves good and bad together. It compares personal governance to a duke and cites the dangers of excess.
A philosophical statement condemns infidelity as a force that robs virtue and faith. It argues it mocks what is good, tears down without building, and attacks religion without offering constructive alternatives.
A humorous Times item argues that a war between China and Europe would disrupt black hair supplies in France. It notes most back hair is imported from China, that blockades could spike prices, and only the very wealthy could afford such switches.
A man badly head injured is told he needs trepanning. The surgeon removes and labels the brain as a peculiar prize and promises it will be cleaned later. The patient never returns, later confesses he has a government job and does not want the brain anymore. The tale ends with the punch line in Le Bossu.
A fragment describes Winnipeg streets with diverse residents and vivid attire. Indigenous people, mounted police, and fashionably dressed visitors mingle while a small girl laments neglect as a nearby observer notes provincial tales from The Waterloo Observer and The Montana Sun.
A mosaic of reflections, advice, and ads from a weekly issue. Montford muses on life as waking and dreaming with daily sights sounds and kinship. The piece blends moral cautions about rest with household tips and commerce notes from Jowell, Mass. and Syracuse factories.
The January 1885 Rhode Island statute details appropriations for the 1885 fiscal year ending December 31. It lists salaries for state officials from Governor to clerks, education funding including public schools and normal school, libraries, public printing, military, courts, jails, public buildings, health, and state charities. The act, approved February 12 1885, authorizes the State Auditor to issue vouchers and sets funding across departments.
A Western editor requests free railroad passes for his wedding trip from Washington to New York with stops in Baltimore and Philadelphia. He jokes about editors’ perks and the abuse of passes, notes he is a postmaster, and says the Pennsylvan ia line official, Mr Ford, yielded but forbids precedent. The Pettsbury Commercial Gazette reports the incident.
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