A Double Surprise For Mr Candor
Mrs Candor pretends guests will arrive while Furniman and Mrs Funniman hide. Mr Candor enters and the plan unfolds as she says the expected guests have disappointed them, prompting a lighthearted reaction.
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Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Apr 21, 1903
Page
4
Mrs Candor pretends guests will arrive while Furniman and Mrs Funniman hide. Mr Candor enters and the plan unfolds as she says the expected guests have disappointed them, prompting a lighthearted reaction.
The article outlines large Saharan oases with diverse springs hot and mineral. It notes Kargha oasis housing 8,000 people who grow grain onions and dates. It mentions marshes, fever, and a people living with minimal food effort and thought.
In a witty exchange Browne notes Towne loves the sound of his own voice while the other laments not hearing himself in sleep. The Philadelphia Press records a playful, quotable moment highlighting mutual ribbing and public theater banter.
A parish cemetery near Paris displays a humorous epitaph reading Here ties Dime N-9 wife st MM N- master blacksmith, noting the railing around the tomb was made by her husband. The odd inscription captures a local craftsman’s ironwork and a household nod in a single stone.
In Leesville Indiana W H Brown, thought near death, credits Dr Kings New Discovery for Consumption with saving his life after severe asthma. He reports immediate relief and a complete cure mention similar cures for consumption pneumonia bronchitis and grip. The remedy priced 50 cents and one dollar and guaranteed by J H Young & Co druggists.
In Vicksburg before the war a prominent figure was Mr McNutt famed for personal cowardice yet ability to bend public prejudices to his will. He once ran for US senator against General Quitman. He claimed Quitman would whip him only if he could outrun him, noting a horror of personal violence as he spoke to citizens.
The St. Louis Republic argues that Indians who keep tribal relations cannot vote, while those who sever ties and become citizens and taxpayers deserve equal voting rights with whites. It notes the Fifteenth Amendment forbids racial discrimination, cites naturalization limits on Chinese, and asserts Indians should have greater rights than Chinese immigrants.
A police college in St. Petersburg trains applicants for the force. A museum housed with the school exposes pupils to tools used by criminals, including chisels and contrivances for robbery of collection boxes. The curriculum covers the Russian passport system and the duties of dvorniks who monitor residences and newcomers.
A balloon ride at 2000 feet with electrically fired guncotton 100 feet below the car yields a report as loud as a pistol due to air rarity and lack of reflectivity. After the shot, ambient silence persists until the echo from the ground returns, followed by a thunderous roar lasting over half a minute.
A man recalls his courting at Miss Cutting's, noting a change in home decor from a welcoming motto to harsher sayings. The door mat shifts from Welcome to Wipe Your Feet, and the wall motto changes from Let Us Love One Another to Early to Bed and Early to Rise Make a Man Healthy Wealthy and Wise.
The RI Drug Co promotes Mi-o-na as a standard dyspepsia remedy with a money back guarantee. They claim many customers improved from severe dyspepsia to healthy digestion, with rapid gains in a few days. The ad promises relief from headaches indigestion specks before the eyes dizziness sleep and liver trouble, and urges spring as ideal for improving health with Mi-o-na.
Notice announces an impending mortgage sale of a Bristol Rhode Island property. It cites deed details, book numbers, and parties including George W Simmons and wife. The notice, dated April, names R. Bristol as the issuing authority and May indicate sale postponement options.
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