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This newspaper page contains 8 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Brimfield News
Location
Brimfield, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jun 07, 1951
Page
6
Em Russell Gage, a railway magnate, faced a looming lawsuit and called in his attorneys. They claimed the facts favored him, urging a win. The billionaire pressed for certainty and suggested dropping the case to avoid presenting the opponent’s side.
In deep woods a driver and his helper were suddenly attacked by a bobcat. The helper fled to a tree while the bobcat and the driver circled. The helper shouted for assistance, but the driver insisted the helper stay perched as he freed himself from the animal.
A nurse questions a doctor about why patients are asked about dinner. The doctor replies that while it may not help diagnose the patient, it can reveal clues about a purse theft or spending pattern. The exchange satirizes medical routines and suggests motive involves financial strain.
A French peasant gifts Louis XI a turnip, earning 1,000 crowns. A nobleman presents a thoroughbred horse, is told a reward awaits, then receives only the turnip instead. The column notes many people returning from vacation feel no change in routine.
The late Paul Armstrong, famed for The Deep Purple and Alias Jimmy Valentine, feuded with his backers and directors. George M Cohan urged gratitude, Armstrong refused, and Cohan quipped that Armstrong would not speak to the audience at curtain speech.
Farmer Cullman complained to a poultry dealer after a dilapidated crate released hens on the way home from the depot. The dealer replied with a joke, saying there were only six hens, congratulating his vigilance, and enclosing a bill for additional hens.
Two girls overheard on a bus discuss the art of conversation. One quips that removing certain phrases from speech cuts conversation to zero, and the other agrees, humorously claiming to tell the truth.
A quirky ad like item shows Grandma soliciting sayings about Nu-Maid Table Grade margarine. It promises $2 per published idea and $10 with a Miss Nu-Maid cache, listing a Cincinnati Ohio address and a 103 East Pearl Street contact for contributions.
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