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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Brimfield News
Location
Brimfield, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jul 03, 1952
Page
2
Fairfield man recalls a Kentucky Derby winner as a horse speaks from behind a tree. The owner offers the talking horse for 20 dollars, but another man counteroffers with 2000 dollars. The farmer hints the talking horse never truly won the Derby and that it was trained last year.
A salesman knocks and calls for a woman while a little girl answers, clarifying that the mother is at home but not answering the bell. The gag hinges on miscommunication as the salesman repeats the bell.
A deaf old lady living near a naval port was startled when a battleship fired ten guns. She calmly rose from her chair, smoothed her dress, patted her hair, and greeted the scene with a sweet, composed remark.
A girl believed happiness hinged on a pearl necklace. As her birthday neared she hinted to friends for a neck ornament. On the big day she received six cakes of soap instead, a humorous misfit gift.
A court scene shows a hard of hearing judge trying a dispute between two deaf parties. The plaintiff demands rent while the defendant cites quiet hours. The judge concludes both brothers must support their mother.
A garbled OCR fragment shows a misaligned dialogue about romance and insults. The young man tries to impress a girl with lines about her lips and eyes, while she bluntly retorts that the "They came with my head." The surrounding text includes garbled phrases and unclear references.
A humorous anonymous item notes a wife’s pleasure in spotting her husband’s former lover with a double chin, framing the moment as a lighthearted domestic quip.
A fragmented note recalls a warning about husbands being like furnaces and suggests vigilance to keep them from going out. The piece also mentions a family scene where everyone swam well except Bill, who died in a diving accident on the west side.
A brief reflection noting how chivalry in past driving culture gave way to panic in modern streets as women drivers challenge traditional expectations. The remark contrasts courteous behavior with anxious reactions in contemporary traffic.
A family moving to a quieter suburb bought a large watchdog from a neighbor named Yancer the German shepherd. burglars entered the house while the big dog slept. The dog merchant advised adding a small alarm dog to wake the big guardian.
A salesman representing Always Ready Real Estate asks a prospect if she would like to view a model home first and the woman replies with interest asking what time the model home worker finishes for the day.
A compact note reflecting a saying about wisdom and choices. It presents a concise musing on discernment and prudent living. The source emphasizes balance between intellect and action through a brief, aphoristic phrasing.
Newly arrived Irishmen in Hoboken share a cramped room and battle mosquitoes until a firefly wanders inside. One jokes that the bug is a lantern hunter while the other quips a riddle about the sexes with a comic answer about male and female insects.
A Norwegian crooner travels from Oslo to New York by train, reaching the city at 1 PM. The journey includes sparse details about stops and local conditions, with references to a nurse and a theater context as part of the day’s events.
A Spaniard an American and a Scotsman imagine morning wealth plans The Spaniard would build a bull ring the American would travel to Paris for a night out and the Scotsman would sleep again to try for another million
A classroom exchange has students guessing which ancient ruler played the fiddle while Rome burned. After various clues and laughter, Jimmie suggests Hector then Duke, finally identifying Nero as the dog-named ruler, prompting a teacher correction and a witty moment.
A famed FBI marksman visits a town and admires countless bull’s eye center holes on trees walls and fences. He learns the village idiot drew the targets first then shot to fit. The tale ends with a pun about writing and numbers and a joke about why dollars bear eagles.
A private marital miscommunication emerges from a spouse speaking in sleep about sending money and a letter. The incident highlights tension over trust and communication within the relationship. No legal actions reported.
A soldier parked an army jeep and walked away while a police officer urged him to pay the meter. The GI retorted that the jeep belonged to the officer as much as to him, sparking a humorous clash on the street.
During a night blaze in Chicago tenants escaped with belongings. A woman fainted after learning the resident above kept a large birdcage and a pet rooster. She explained she has heard a rooster crowing during psychiatric treatment for a year. Later, an orderly fashion drive in theater lovers lane with ushers.
A shy lad planned to marry but feared saying marriage words. He finally asked Julia in a whisper how she would like to be buried with his people, turning a romantic moment into a macabre proposal.
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