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Newspaper
Brimfield News
Location
Brimfield, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Dec 21, 1899
Page
10
A compilation of quips and jokes from early 20th century papers. The Philadelphia Ledger notes a traveller given a scolding in a woodshed and a joking response about stretching out. The Indianapolis Journal ponders microbes in food and fat. Mrs Winslow’s soothing syrup is advertised for teething pain and colic in infants.
News from London reports a crushing Boer victory over General Buller at the Tugela river. Heavy losses and ten guns abandoned mark the attempt to lift the Ladysmith siege, as two fords were to be crossed simultaneously with three brigades and central support. An unrelated Albany Times-Union editorial praised the New York Central Mogul engine No. 048 for its record run.
Strong for Hart opened the western drift but was repulsed with heavy losses. Hildyard advanced then faced a crushing ambuscade as Col Long's artillery was annihilated by concealed rifle fire. Buller's army retreated to Chieveley, with England shocked into a realization the South African campaign is a full war.
Philadelphia chosen as site for the Republican national convention on June 19 2000 after a close vote at Washington. Final tally 25 for Philadelphia 24 for Chicago with Ohio and Colorado absent. Philadelphia carried southern states territories and two New England votes amid sentiment and cash arguments.
An advertising notice promotes Grain-O as a nourishing grain based drink to replace tea or coffee for children. It claims Grain-O tastes like mixed coffee, costs about a fourth more, and is sold by grocers at 15 cents. A cross clipping notes a personal exchange about marriage and divorce in the Chicago News.
Winter hand discomfort is linked to washing with inferior soap whose ingredients injure the skin. Use pure soap and warm rain water or Ivory soap to keep hands clean and smooth. Eliza R Parker. Use for Both.
An old advertisement urges readers to treat persistent coughing as consumption danger. It promotes Kemp’s Balsam promising immediate relief and offers free sample bottles via local druggists in 25 and 50 cent sizes. Delays are warned as dangerous.
A Vienna woman, preparing for her wedding, learned of her fiancé's death. Three days later she wed another man, a quick remarriage amid grief and social scrutiny. The note also hints at unrelated oddities about medicines and domestic concerns of the era.
An advertisement touts Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets as a cure for colds with a money back guarantee if it fails. Ke. W. Grove’s signature appears on each box. Includes a humorous exchange about a wife who talks after getting the last word. Also cites Piso’s Cure for Consumption as an effective medicine.
An assorted page fragment covers a comic marital misstep tale where a wife explains rapid remarriage cycles to please employers, a Salon- era joke about divorce and gardening roles, plus health ads tout Hall's Catarrh Cure, Grain-O drink promotions, and light quips from Chicago News. The content blends humor, medical pitches, and frugal consumer notices.
An extended testimonial advertisement extols Cascarets as a modern laxative and health secret. Readers hear a chorus of merchants and families from Arlington Neb to Philadelphia Pa praising Cascarets for constipation relief. The piece stresses a trusted tablet marked CCC and warns against imitations while naming Sterling Remedy Co as the distributor.
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