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Newspaper
Brimfield News
Location
Brimfield, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Dec 11, 1952
Page
5
A fragmented wartime record lists numerous US Army and Marine units, personnel, and postings. Entries include names, ranks, unit designations, APO/FPO addresses, and locations such as New York, Seattle, San Francisco, Breckinridge Kentucky, Fort Hood Texas, Fort Sill Oklahoma, Camp Breckinridge, and Oceanside California, with various dates and assignments reflecting a compiled personnel roster.
Waldo Peirce, the artist poet, fooled a Paris hotel concierge with a turtle substitution trick. He swapped a tiny turtle for progressively larger ones, then reversed the process. The concierge grew obsessed as the turtle kept changing size, nearly driving her to insanity before Peirce revealed the ruse.
An intelligent farmer faced defense and prosecutor in a murder case. When asked if he believes in capital punishment, he hesitated then replied Yes if it isn’t too severe. The exchange highlighted the defendant’s stance amid legal proceedings.
A housewife sent colored cloth and two matching napkins to the laundry. They returned faded. She complained at the desk and the clerk warned that the remaining napkins could be faded to match the rest of the set.
A humorous anecdote recalls William Dean Howells as consul in Venice being stout and good natured. A tall friend, mocking his size, says he would hang himself, to which Howells wittily replies that if he ever acts on such advice he would use the friend for the rape.
A Washington-born fellow claims Patrick Henry proclaimed Give me liberty or give me death but his descendants now say GIMME. The piece riffs on student mail frustrations as home envelopes yield only news and love.
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