What He Would Say
A short humorous exchange features a kind woman asking about a steady job and Perry Patettie replying that he cannot repeat what he would say. The Cincinnati Enquirer quotation highlights wit and social nuance in a brief dialogue.
This is just the beginning! Our collection holds over 300 years of history, including rare newspapers, obituaries, marriage records, birth records, and so much more—most of which you won’t find anywhere else!
This newspaper page contains 48 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Brainerd Dispatch
Location
Brainerd, Minnesota, United States of America
Date
Oct 02, 1896
Page
4
A short humorous exchange features a kind woman asking about a steady job and Perry Patettie replying that he cannot repeat what he would say. The Cincinnati Enquirer quotation highlights wit and social nuance in a brief dialogue.
In a Detroit Tribune item a young man pleads for his beloved, seeking consent from her obdurate father who refuses to approve the marriage, leaving the suitor with little hope of wedlock without her father’s sanction.
Home Life Insurance Company of New York seeks an energetic, well acquainted woman as local agent. Special territory and Ubera contract offered. Cash value and loaning privileges guaranteed yearly. References required. Apply to Fred F. Loomis, general manager, 306-9 Pioneer Press building, St. Paul.
A brief Detroit Free Press note questions the meaning of a new X mark on quarter tickets. The cartoonish pun suggests a price rise from three to four cents, highlighting confusion over the symbol and implying a small but noticeable increase in cost.
A Washington Times quip asks why Kurds murder Armenians. A British workhouse intake shows 163 discharged soldiers among 691 tramps in eight weeks. The British Museum Library adds liturgies of the Church of Scotland to its collection.
An advertisement claims the Kickapoo Indian Remedy offers relief for rheumatism and other painful afflictions, asserting it can bring relief within reach for sufferers. The copy targets readers seeking a powerful, accessible cure.
Helen Mitford braces a sudden halt in Noelcombe as a railway inquiry and a misdirected omnibus lead to a long walk. Mr. Jones pretends to help by offering a cart ride, but she refuses and continues on, later learning of a risk from the conductor's mistaken notes.
A fragment notes Noelcombe as another hamlet near the home of Philip and Annie, mentioning a narrow street and a climbing effort as part of the description.
A Scribner's excerpt notes Greater New York's population and wealth around the constitutional era. It estimates total wealth near 6 billion dollars and annual public income about 50 million, compares to state figures, and highlights immigrant dominance and limited English literacy among residents.
A Washington Star account recalls a Michigan senator’s wife calling a dentist to extract three teeth from her dog Madge. The doctor, unsure of the task, bound the dog’s mouth and performed the unusual dental extraction for $3. He now asks questions about the work before agreeing to such calls.
Practical hints for home winter storage cover beets carrots cabbage squash potatoes and celery. Methods include burying in a ground barrel with dry leaves and matting, cellar storage with moisture control, sand packing, and careful handling of seed potatoes and labeled crates. Celery needs cool moist conditions, and moss can keep it market fresh for months.
A guest preacher in a country charges meets a house filled with sacred relics and ghostly memory. An elderly woman recounts deaths, skeletons in a closet, and bones in a cupboard, warning of possible spiritualist signs and eerie companionship during the night.
A hundred or more spectators watched two women brave a Manhattan Beach hailstorm under shelter at a cycle track station. They scrambled on wet boards to gather hail, then ate the stones like candy while comparing the experience to earlier Kansas storms.
The piece notes golf stockings’ surprising popularity in the United States and credits the inventor as a public benefactor. It then recounts seventy full-blooded Sioux stopping in Chicago reacting to a stock of golf stockings with a war dance and various joyful displays.
A Cleveland manicure operator touts on her business card that nails are beautified and made most magnificent and highly polished. The Cleveland Plain Dealer weighs in with a wry question on how to further strengthen this boast.
Dialogue sketch features Mr Gaswell denying identity during breakfast while Mrs Gaswell questions him. A child asks about a shutter and a father explains it was only for a blind. Quips echo newspaper humor from Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph and Chicago News.
The article argues soil fertility rests largely on vegetable matter. It notes chemical manures work best with vegetable manure and stresses barnyard manure improves soil structure, water retention, drainage, and unlocks unavailable fertility. It warns drought and flood impact worsen on soils depleted of vegetable matter. It cites Wallace's Farmer and regional differences.
The article describes a lightweight framing method using two inch planks over a stone foundation to avoid mortising and tenoning. Planks support floorboards and uprights, with spiking to sill planks, enabling a complete frame built from tank without traditional joinery. It praises this for small buildings and barns and notes gutterless barns lose richness from manure.
The August Tennessee crop bureau report notes drops in corn as a bright month-ago yield faded, cotton down by thirty points, and declines in tobacco sorghum peanuts broom corn and stock peas. The article warns crop forecasts often miss final results but the outlook rarely worsens beyond early warnings.
Farmers in many regions use a top poled method to secure stone walls as fence foundations. A single stake is driven in and bound to several others. a cross section diagram shows how the pole is tied with stout wire to the stakes. This design resists animal displacement and reduces stake loss during repairs.
A farm cart uses a drop axle to double body depth and increase capacity. It aids in moving young animals and features a rear two-door design with stout hooks for easy bottom access, making the cart notably handy in pasture work.
The Plowman says millet grows on rich soil and does best on warm, gravelly land. In the North sow about June first, using three pecks per acre for hay or half that for seed. Cover with a harrow and let German millet seed earlier, Hungarian later. Cut for hay after blossoms fall, wilt, turn, and cock, then air and store. Millet can injure kidneys if seed ripens.
The Texas Farm and Ranch notes onions can be grown from seed sown in September or October with adequate moisture. Plants survive winter with light December mulch, requiring only one fall cultivation. Seed should be sown just before or after rain for good germination. Fertilizers, especially hen droppings and wood ashes, help produce large bulbs.
James M. McKelvy Post G A R member Milton F Sweet of St Cloud Minnesota recalls Gettysburg service and heart trouble. He credits Dr Williams Pink Pills with restoring his nervous system and blood strength after years of ineffective remedies. Notary public J R Jerrard swears to the statement in 1836. Pills sold by dealers or by mail from Schenectady NY with prices 50 cents per box or six for 2.50.
An fragment from Sticht notes 18th century armies used engraved powder horns, marked with soldiers' initials, bearing slogans like Liberty or Death and Death before Dishonor. Horns faded after 1848 Mexican War, some shortened or defaced to suit hunting, preserving a slice of martial sentiment.
A list of inventors and items appears including Richard D. Cody of Winona Minnesota with a fire proof shutter and Alfred A. Kinne of Minneapolis with a stove. Eugene Lemay of Mendota Minnesota shows a digger, Philip R. Martin of Buffalo North Carolina a tension device for grain binding, and Thomas H. Williams of Doland with a potato planter. D Merwin, Patent Lawyer, lists Pioneer Press Building St. Paul Minnesota and Washington DC.
An article argues electric ventilation will replace bulky steam powered fans on ships. Electrically driven horizontal fans with motors can be installed within decks and beams, enabling a complete ventilation system previously impossible and rendering obsolete the old cowl and spritsail yard methods.
An advertisement promotes No-To-Bac as a wounder-worker that makes weak men strong and restores vigor. It claims over 400000 cured and a guarantee from druggists, with a free booklet and sample mail offer from the Aid Sterling Remedy Co in Chicago.
A servant notes that people rarely stick to their best talents, with painters wanting music and musicians seeking writing. A business man counters, citing a young man who has done the same job for years and seems content, his answer: he has been doing nothing.
A fragment notes Peters entered into rest on August 12, 1866 and calls him peaceful. The interchange mocks delays and birth date confusion, with a quip about X rays and a playful street scene in a rumor about Walker.
Northwest merchants widely recognize the North Star fur coats made by Lampher Finch & Skinner of St. Paul Minnesota though the coats are from unknown manufacturers.
Dialog references a long held flying machine idea and uncertainty about success. The text shifts to advertise Cascarets as a liver and bowel regulator and includes a cryptic line about love and returning it. It ends with a mention of Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup for teething and colic with a price.
A conversation centers on a father who is joked about for a leg impairment. Harold pressures a woman to marry him to help her family, insisting the marriage would balance their misfortunes and “pull his other leg.” The vignette reflects light melodrama in old newspaper style.
A quip about why telephone operators are women sparks: the man wonders aloud, while the misanthrope suspects the last word attracts them. The snippet continues with playful banter referencing a walking feat and a polished social circle, all in classic newspaper humor tone.
A method recommends forming a long narrow ridge once the ground is cold then covering with a few inches of earth and leaving vents every 15 to 20 feet. In severe weather close vents. Freeze protection includes a foot or two of horse manure over the ridge and stacking corn fodder above to shed rains.
Practical tips on improving farms include prudent use of rye, avoiding overcropping, buying reliable paint, evaluating woodland profits, and studying successful farmers. It warns about tools left to rust, crooked drainage, and plan improvement. Michigan reports turnip disease. burning affected tops advised. Late corn harvests risk frost. winter chores require solid walkways and durable field equipment.
A vivid old advertisement touts Cagcarets Carly Cathartic as a pleasant medical discovery. It promises cleansing of the system, relief from colds headaches fever and constipation and advertises prices for boxes and guaranteed cures by druggists.
In a Labor Day procession a pair of mottoes drew attention as they marched by. One banner announced ice cream and a dance tonight at the hall while the next proclaimed a desire for more of the necessaries of life.
North Star fur coats are crafted from selected skins by first class workmen and defective items will be repaired at no charge by Lanpher Finch & Skinner of St. Paul.
A quoted Tribune remark explains men are sinking and raising street sections to accommodate railway tracks, illustrating city improvement work. The exchange shows the railway company elevating its lines as part of urban infrastructure changes.
The advertisement touts Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as a remedy for rheumatic conditions and digestive complaints. It claims relief for kidney trouble dyspepsia debility liver complaint and constipation with persistent use.
Quote pairs juxtapose nature’s method of digestion with human hardship. A Detroit Free remedy testimonial from Windsor Ontario extols Piso's Cure as best for lung and chest diseases.
Readers learn Hall's Catarrh Cure claims a cure for catarrh a constitutional disease. The ad asserts internal action on blood and mucous surfaces building up the constitution and offering a one hundred dollar reward for any uncurable case. Address F. J. Cheney & Co Toledo Ohio. Sold by all druggists.
The device uses electrically controlled valves and two magnet circuits to fill bottles from a liquid source via pipes. Pressing a button starts the flow and opens the valves, while an attendant corks and replaces bottles once filled. It promises faster operation with no waste and uniform fill heights.
The article describes a sleeping room with white enamel woodwork and brass bedsteads. Walls feature colonial patterned paper on deep pink lavender, a mosay green rug, white enamel furniture with brass trim, muslin curtains with lavender ribbons, lavender and white seat cushions, and a dresser cover with pinkish purple violets and green ribbons.
Mrs Casey speaks of a man once feared not raising a hand, Olver notices a gleaming shave, Clancy expresses sympathy, and questions about tin dollars owed to a caller named Up to Date surface amid the tense exchange.
Lampher Finch Skinner of St Paul Minnesota state that North Star fur coats are crafted by the oldest, most experienced Northwest manufacturers and carry a one year guarantee.
A brief exchange quotes a physician boasting about removing a bullet from a man’s eye without vision loss. The Cheerful Idiot dismisses the claim and says he has performed the same trick with a gun many times. It appears in the Indianapolis Journal.
We want people to find what they are looking for at NewspaperArchive. We are confident that we have the newspapers that will increase the value of your family history or other historical research. With our 7-day free trial, you can view the documents you find for free.
People find the most success using advanced search. Try plugging in keywords, names, dates, and locations, and get matched with results from the entire collection of newspapers at NewspaperArchive!
You can also successfully find newspapers by these browse options. Explore our archives on your own!
Browse by location and discover newspapers from all across the world.
Browse by date and find publications for a specific day or era.
Browse old newspaper publications to find specific newspapers.