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Brainerd Dispatch in Brainerd, Minnesota

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This newspaper page contains 44 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.

Newspaper

Brainerd Dispatch

Location

Brainerd, Minnesota, United States of America

Date

Apr 30, 1897

Page

3

Pat and the Target Militia Joke in Irish Tale

An Irish militiaman fires at a gate during musketry practice and insists he aims at the far gate, prompting the instructor to demand what gate. The scene, told in a humorous tone from a 19th century column, blends misfires with wedding shoe folklore.

Pat

The Highest Grade in Detroit Free Press Parvenue Note

Fragmentary note from Detroit Free Press questions Parvenue about his son’s education at college. It hints at expense worries and daily calls about waking payments on Illinois. The phrasing is garbled, but centers on savings, schooling, and debts.

Detroit

Twin City Stock Yards Market Ad

Advertisement from New Brighton Mann April 22 1897 promoting Twin City Stock Yards as the Northwest market for live stock with high capacity and buyers from Southern points. Claims two large pens, direct connections to lines entering the cities, and invites send for market report.

Twin City New Brighton Mann Northwest Toulon Chicago Tala City Ally Market Seri Norv

Do you believe hands tell any thing palmistry line

A girl asks if hands reveal truths in palmistry and a practical man replies that they do only for deaf mutes. A brief ad offers a fine Missouri farm for sale at 16 000 to 20 00 dollars per acre through W Canpenter of Bolivar Polk County.

New York Journal Ted. W. Canpenter Bolivar, Polk Co Missouri

The Charge Changed A Store Encounter With a Push

A magistrate quotes the defendant claiming he merely pushed a crazy man from his store while the judge notes the action as an assault and battery charge. The exchange reflects a tense courtroom moment as the case proceeds.

Hall’s Catarrh Cure Ad and Odd Bits From Page

A clipped ad for Hall’s Catarrh Cure is presented along with miscellaneous humorous snippets and an offer from John A. Salter Seed Co of La Crosse Wisconsin. The seed company promotes 3 barrels of French Artichokes to plant one acre, available by June 1st for $4, claiming health and hog-keeping benefits.

John A. Salter Seed Co la Crosse Wis W. N. Soun A. Salzer Seed CO

Love on the Wheel Bicycle Confession

A lighthearted exchange reveals Charley’s love for Clara after a bicycle tumble during a ride. The moment underscores a nostalgic, small town romance vibe and hints at affectionate mischief.

Charley Clara

Cocaine Preferred as Anesthetic Over Eucaine Says Reclus

Elysee Reclus reports to the Paris Academy that cocaine provides superior local anesthesia. In tests on animals and human tissue, cocaine caused stronger dilation of blood vessels and longer insensibility, while eucaine proved less virulent but inferior in three key aspects. Reclus notes repeated use without fatal accidents, advising caution in clinical choice.

Elysee Reclus Academy of Sciences Paris Pouchat Reclus Philadelphia

Remedy for Tiger Snake Bite and the Lost antidote

The article recalls Australia’s deadly tiger snake bite with no antidote. A government reward of 5000 exists for a cure. A man named Underwood reportedly found an effective antidote and offered it for 10000, but officials deemed it excessive. He later died after a snakebite, forgetting the antidote.

Australia Underwood

Whistler’s Quiet Years Amid Domestic Troubles

Amusing stories keep Whistler in public eye yet direct words from him are scarce due to his sad domestic troubles. Renowned as the wittiest in his generation and a foremost artist, he left the United States thirty three years ago to study in Paris and has reportedly never returned. His status among fellow painters as the day’s greatest artist is noted, with a playful exchange about landscapes and nature.

Whistler United States Gabriel Gleyre Paris

An Appeal for Assistance With Stomach Bitters Use

A promotional notice urges self care for indigestion and bile gland discomfort. It touts Hostetters Stomach Bitters as the remedy for heartburn wind and a sallow skin tone, urging prompt use.

Hostetter

The Harp of Brian Boru in Dublin College Museum

The harp of Brian Boru, Ireland’s famed king, remains in Dublin college museum. Donagh, Brian Boru’s son, gave it to Pope John XVII with the crown and regalia to seek absolution for his brother Teig’s murder. It later passed through several hands before William Coningham donated it to the college in 1782.

Brian Boru Ireland College Museum Dublin Brian Donagh John XVII Teig Adrian II Kingdom of Ireland Henry II Henry VIII Leo X William Conningham

And She Shivers the While New Spring Suit Warm Air

A playful exchange reveals Miss Pushly praises balmy air and sunny warmth as she wears a new spring suit, prompting lighthearted questions about her chilly reaction to the weather. The dialogue shows a witty mood and local character charm.

Miss Pushly

Teething Syrup and Castaway Cigarette Heart Joke Ad

An advertising card parodies patent medicines Mrs Winslow’s Seething Syrup claims teething benefits and a “tobacco heart” joke contrasts a cigarette heart with a child’s ailment. Also promotes Cascarets candy cathartic with a money back guarantee if C C C fails.

Paternal Wisdom Quotation Reported by Ohio State Journal

A quoted exchange between a father and daughter centers on the timing of a visitor’s departure. The source presents the remark as part of a broader dialogue or column, reflecting social etiquette and family dynamics likely from a newspaper page.

At a Safe Distance From Street Spotter Mock Fights

A Cleveland Plain Dealer item cites a heated exchange where a man warns the Simpson boy to stay away, while another dismisses him as not a fighter and jokes about soaking him with a hose. The brief reflects local street banter and bravado in a small confrontation.

Simpson Cleveland Plain Dealer

Robin Nest in an Apple Tree Honeymoon Tale

A May morning brings two robins to a sunlit apple tree near a white house. A wheelchairbound girl watches from a window as the mates debate a nest site and decide to build beneath the sill, inviting shared wonder between child and mother.

White House Robin Red Love

Waiting for the Robins Nestlings to Fledge

A family story follows a girl in a wheel chair patiently awaiting robins nesting in a bird nest built by the parents above. After weeks the eggs hatch into five blue fledglings. the mother and child share quiet joy as the nestlings are cared for under warm wings. The scene blends patience, suffering, and hopeful renewal.

Milton

Guardian Spirit of a Child and Her Robins

A fragile girl in a wheel chair watches robins raise their young as time passes. The devoted mother tends the nest and comforts the girl with whispered prayers and promises, while the family awaits the moment the birds fly.

Sunrise and sunset at the old house with robins

A mother and child share tender moments as days pass and the robin family leaves the nest. The child awakens early and smiles at the meadow light, but a sorrow returns as the nest lies empty and five birdlings are gone, leaving gratitude for the time together.

White House Darling Robins

The Match Request in a Harsh Winter Stroll

A prosperous broker in a cold winter evening encounters a paperboy crying wares in a large office vestibule. After his match is blown out he asks for a match and pays a quarter for an evening paper with the change kept. The scene underscores manners and charity observed by the man and reflected by the boy.

Dinners That Cost Money in Ancient Rome and York Feast

A Pittsburg Dispatch piece notes lavish Roman banquets where wine cost $20 an ounce and dishes included peacock tongues live fish and desert fruits with totals reaching up to $500000. It also cites Archbishop George Neville of York in 1470 hosting a feast costing about $150000 and massive meat and drink quantities consumed.

Lucius Lucullus Britain Arabia Caligula Vitellius Aulus Verus Elagabalus George Nevil York Pittsburg

Count Makes Room For Magnificent Orders

In the Pittsburg News remarks about Count's patrimony, a remark notes his former job as a waiter and his supposed extensive collection of orders. The exchange highlights class mobility and wealth display through ostentatious accoutrements.

Nante Laura Pittsburg News

Absorbing. Female Bock Agent-You seen much absorbed by that paper

Fatient Vic.in-Yes, it is a blotting paper. Exit agent.-Ceveland Plain Dealer

Fatient Vic

Whalers Relate Real Jonah Tale From Noank

A retired Noank whaling captain, 75, claims to have lived in five different whales. Swinnerton recounts Davis of Tiger, who joined the crew in 1846 and spent about an hour inside each whale to extract blubber and fat. He notes the Bible Jonah story against lived-in whale experiences, suggesting long biblical confinement was possible.

APT. S. A Capt. Davis Swinnerton James R. Davis Noank Conn Oldhne Tiger William Brewster Stonington Horn Pacific Magdalena Bay California Davis

Bicycle Curves Clarify Foot Movement While Riding

Research debunks the common belief that feet move backward on a bicycle. Measurements show feet always move forward relative to the ground, tracing forward leaning curves as the bike propels forward. Wheels complete 2.25 revolutions per pedal cycle. foot position advances, never retreats.

The New York Journal

Suggestions for a Model Kitchen From 1897

The article advocates careful kitchen planning in new houses, stressing plumbing, ranges, and durable wood. It critiques old shut in plumbing, favors iron pipes to avoid sweating, and recommends well varnished pine woodwork with multiple coats of oil and paint for durability. It emphasizes housing employers guiding architects for kitchen conveniences and hygiene considerations.

Co-Operative Building Plan Association

Kitchen Construction and Furnishings From Old Manual

The text discusses durable kitchen design focusing on tight closets, open joints, and high slate-like details. It argues against wood tubs favoring earthenware, stresses easy cleaning of drains and boilers, and promotes wide sinks with ample draining shelves and tiling panels. It cautions against cheap floors and urges pine flooring with regular dressing.

Kitchen Furnishings and Layout From House Design

The article outlines practical kitchen upgrades emphasizing two plain deal tables, a large and a small one near the range, solid wooden seat chairs, and at least one rocking chair. It bans ornamental items lacking utility, and describes a cutaway diagram with movable table, boiler, closet, low table, counter shelf, chairs, dresser, towel rack, pantry, range, sink, hinged table, and veranda.

Good Words for Washington and Honest Government

Gen H W Boynton, veteran Washington correspondent, has 30 years of notes on the capital. He cites a moral atmosphere, honest government, and efficient administration as the era’s hallmark. He praises the postal service and notes party changes do not alter governance. He asserts global gold value around 3 billion dollars.

Washington H. W. Boynton White House United States Postal Service New York Cincinnati

How to Submit Manuscripts to Periodicals

A Ladies Home Journal note urges authors to send manuscripts to the periodical best suited to their work. It says principal publications offer courteous treatment and fair dealings, with pricing varying by material value. Editors welcome submissions and seek unknown talent.

Ladlies

Had Her Fixed

A Boston Transcript exchange imagines Fogg planning to visit a fortune-teller to seek answers on his wife, joking about getting his five dollars’ worth and claiming he will likely return home to an angelic temper despite the late hour.

Dobkins Fogg

When Contradiction Is Safety in Uncle Eben’s Phrase

A Washington Star quotation notes Uncle Eben saying “Dad's only one time” when it is safe to contradict a man. The remark ties disagreement to caution and aging, framing debate as a test of prudence in conversation.

Eben Washington Star

Ruther Mixed

A local west England preacher offered a singular prayer hoping grace would be watered with blessing from on high, as noted by the Saturday Review.

West of England Saturday Review

The Sheep of Lebanon and Fattened Syrian Sheep

The article describes Harry Fenn's account of Lebanon and its silk industry. It details hanging mulberry gardens, leaf production for silkworms, and a local practice of fattening Syrian sheep with mulberry leaves. Women herd sheep, feed them by hand, and fatten them for winter meat.

Strasburg Harry Fenn St. Nicholas Cedars Lebanon Mr. Fenn

Moravian Death Rites Hear Trombone Sermon in Bethlehem

Clifford Howard writes in the Ladies' Home Journal about Moravian death customs in Bethlehem Pennsylvania where trombones in the church steeple announce a death with hymn tones. The music accompanies funerals and open air services, signaling eternal rest and a devout faith.

Clifford Howard Ladies’ Home Journal Bethlehem Pennsylvania

Compass Sailed by Eddie Papa and Pilot in Family Sketch

A playful dialogue frames Little Eddie as the compass while Papa acts as captain and Mama as pilot. Eddie laments being boxed in, remarking on the constant attention and roles within the family ship.

Eddie Papa Mamma

One of the Presents

In a humorous exchange, Hogan asks how the other obtained the eye while Brogan jokes he calibrated his birthday last evening, as a judge presides.

Hogan Brogan

Notable Happenings In Arts and Politics Abroad

Senator Hale’s Ellsworth residence The Pines is finished after a summer fire. A Jenny Lind daughter composes incidental music for The Alchemist in Birmingham. Ex-Postmaster General Wilson named Phi Beta Kappa orator at Harvard next June. Dr E W Emerson to read the poem. Countess of Derby painting sells in London for 11500, up from 395 in 1863. Gen Rosecrans, 78, praises arbitration. Washington Hall in Durham bought for 2000. Nightcap revival gains traction in Sasiant. Ellen Terry’s son plays Kme gen’s brother in Cymbalne by Lyceum. he carries her off stage. Deutsche Revue notes Miss Terry trained him to trace twelve times around a table. Cobham Brewer’s life shows relentless industriousness. 35 years old when finishing Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. funded by his pen through Cambridge with $150 left at commencement.

Senator Hale Ellsworth Jenny Lind Birmingham England William L. Wilson Harvard E. W. Emerson London Countess of Derby T. Laurence Gen. Rosecrans California Washington Hall Durham George Washington Ellen Terry Kmegen Miss Terry Lyceum Cymbalne Deutsche Revue Cambriee

Self-Provident Faith and the Christian Struggle

A religious meditation argues that true joy comes from Christ and requires divine aid. It condemns outward show and false holiness, notes the coming judgment on those who hate the righteous, and urges steadfast, disciplined service to God rather than merely speaking piety.

Christ

Kava Kava shrub touted as cure all kidney disease

A propaganda notice claims Alkavis from the Kava Kava shrub Chemically named Piper Methysticum offers a universal cure for kidney and bladder disorders. It recounts hospital cures and urges readers to send names and addresses to receive a free sample by mail from the Kidney Cure Company in New York.

Anges River East India Nw York Allaix A. Danning North Constantia Alkavs Ackron Lowe Aice Evans Baltimore Sie Lavy Neel West Va Ant Ke Copeland Jon Chiro Kidney Cure Company Pourta von New York Alkavis

Its Distinctive Feature Judge's Quip on Food and Drink

The judge notes a humorous distinction in a casual exchange about food and drink. Margie replies that jink is something that does not mate with ma's tessellated wattle. The line exhibits playful wordplay and regional dialect in a courtroom anecdote.

Paya Margie Danma

Patents Issued Last Week To Northwestern Inventors

List of patents issued to Northwestern inventors from Minnesota and nearby states. Entries include H Dennis for a gas generator, M R Minami, L Leonard, D Dye, M Minn hydrant and railway ornament, E Eriss for lantern, A Hay for gas manufacturing apparatus, H Heintz ship, L Holt sieve box, F Paine tobacco pipe, F Spencer pedal for a wheel, H Steimar tire escape, J Thurber hay-stacker, J Fuller design, Warner Schurmeier hardware, Minnesota Soap Co scouring soap, with T D Merwin as patent lawyer.

Northwestern Oo H. Dennis Minami R Leonard BE Duluth Minn Henry Heintz Elkton Lynn C. Holt Rochester Franklin Paine Frederick J. Spencert Staples Henry Steimar Minneapolis Kara J. Thurber Logan Hay-Stacker James W. Fuller St. Paul Can al Warner & Schurmeier Teadeawark Minnesota Soap Company T. D. Merwin Pioneer Press

Bright girl asks about Mrs Jerusalem in city tale

In a Poughkeepsie Star story a bright little girl, in a brown mood, asks her aunt who Mrs Jerusalem is after hearing the line Oh Mother Dear Jerusalem. She explains the question stems from a song, and she has wondered about Jerusalem for some time.

Lucy Mrs. Jerusalem Jerusalem Poughkeepsie

Also Mentioned on This Page

Ayer Pat and Novie Pittsburgens Fiso Joan A. Miller Au Sable, Michiean Hall Price E. CG. Clark Co New Haven Love On the Wheel Indianapolis Selma Ala Dorblee Western Wheel Pose PREVO Itamucret T Thompson Deane& Weaver Ilee John W.morria Washington, D.C Guren Stleste B. Willson & CO Brian Bors Ohio State Journal Omaha Bee Switzerland Breithorn Matterhorn Five Jonah Ruther the Sheep OF Compass Florida Wissimee Fort Pierce Kittery Maine Phoenixville Warner OLR Cyaan Walter Baker & Co Walter Baker & CO. Ltd Dorchester Mass Columbia Bicycles Columbias Hartford Pope Meg. CO Com Hires Rootbeer Charles B. Hires Co Slicker Seale Fife Stave Medicat Co Oman NEB Nohranta
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