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Newspaper
Baxter Springs News
Location
Baxter Springs, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Dec 03, 1908
Page
2
A Baxter Springs News item aggregates humorous quotations and stray witticisms from Chicago News Boston Transcript and Philadelphia Inquirer. It presents social quips on marriage finances and courtship as a lighthearted feature from a rural Kansas paper.
A rambunctious narrator recounts Pa’s misadventures in Paris, pest houses, and a ransom of Pa’s airship. They plan an Africa expedition with Hagenbach’s circus crew to lasso wild animals, chasing lions and elephants from a gas bag ride while dodging debt and danger.
An appeal extols Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna as a trusted general health fixative. It claims gentle cleansing and relief of internal organs without debility or dosage increases, praising physicians’ approval and urging purchase only from the California Fig Syrup Co. through leading druggists.
In a concise quarrel, Pepperpot complains about a last bill of goods, while Liteware the salesman recounts being kicked out after the confrontation. The exchange captures a sharp dispute over a sales transaction.
The increased use of whiskey for rheumatism draws strong discussion among doctors. A suggested remedy mixes whiskey with Toris Compound and Syrup Sarsaparilia Compound, taken in tablespoonful doses before meals and at night. Toris Compound is from Globe Pharmaceutical Co Chicago, with other ingredients obtainable at any drugstore.
A brief vignette portrays Letty, a young colored girl, tasked with fetching water from a distant spring, interrupted by a Bible history lesson on Noah. In a moment of childlike humor she answers that Noah likely sent after her when the water ran dry, reflecting playful dialogue between mistress and servant.
A prominent educator cites a note from the state board of examination praising Mary Wilson for her performance at a primary school in Indiana. Despite missing key points, her answers were well mannered and refined, with a request to award her a medal as a reward of merit per Harper's Monthly.
An odd, fragmentary clipping notes a husband and wife exchange about shoes and staying home, interspersed with erratic marketing lines for Red Cross Ball Blan and generic quotes. The text includes stray phrases about charity and a misattributed Aristotelian proverb amid garbled catalog references.
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