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Newspaper
Batesville Tribune
Location
Batesville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Mar 22, 1906
Page
6
Two men in a Chicago Daily News piece joke about aging and the oddity of teeth. They compare tooth years, lament dental wear, and muse that hair and nails grow while teeth demand constant care, ending with a humorous aside on artificial replacements.
A lady and a visitor discuss Susie and a rumored incident. The talk centers on trust, secrets between spouses, and rumors about Mr Paxton’s behavior, as they dodge revealing what Susie confided. The scene ends with in-house deliberations and a pledge of discretion.
Captain Hopkinson recalls markets from Alaska Cartagena and Corsica with frozen bear steaks and ax cuts in subzero air. He notes hot Cartagena scenes with cats and dogs sold as food during a siege, and Ajaccio Corsican goats offered on a sidewalk market.
A Baltimore American quip notes distrust of assigning the same man to the naval committee. The speaker warns against relying on him to expose wrongdoing, citing his habit of probing bottom depths. The remark implies civic caution in governance.
A collection of light anecdotes and quips featuring animals and people. Jokes range from a dog named Care to a playful fraction lesson, ending with a shy student’s pun about mincemeat.
A quarrel over a ring erupts as one party vows sorrow if the ring is returned. The other retorts that anyone with matching initials could replace the keepsake, revealing a tangle of romantic pride and reminders.
A salesman announces a new auto improvement arriving today, a folding horse carried under the seat for use in case of an accident. The buyer asks about recent auto advances and is told this novelty has just arrived.
A museum attendant confirms the Cromwell relics on display were returned to Afr Cromwell last week after a visitor inquiry.
A playful exchange aboard an ocean steamer has a boastful young man asking the captain where timber comes from. The captain deadpans that it comes from the log, quipping a nautical pun that lightens the voyage.
A green subaltern, seen smoking at duty, is admonished by a veteran sentry who warns against smoking near the post. The subaltern trashes the cigar, but later the sentry reclaims it, claiming to keep it alight as "evidence" for the morning.
Mrs Nudger notes a strange physical fact that the two sides of a face are never identical. She recalls noticing a person scowling and smirking at Lieut Smith the previous evening, as reported by the Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
A Punch cartoon caption shows Jarge bragging of riding a yellow motor car and blue carriage after the poll and claiming he did not vote for either candidate. A fond mother-in-law figure comments while Jarge laughs at the scene.
The fragment from the Louisville Courier-Journal notes a misrendered name linking Dad Jap-Lord Nelson as the Togo of Swngland and mentions Boy Jap-Paw as a son, reflecting a genealogical or humorous item with unclear context.
The Plain Dealer reports a Venezuelan general and the French commander will arrange armistice terms. Delay cited as caused by the general borrowing a pair of shoes and a calico shirt.
A dialogue from the Baltimore American shows an employer accusing a former employee of stealing money, while the discharged worker recalls a past loan repayment delay. The exchange centers on seeking a lighter sentence and the complex fault lines of repayment.
A Philadelphia Press dialogue hints at marital strife with a man regretting the quarrel and his wife staying with her mother, then claiming her mother has returned home with her. The exchange underscores domestic discord and uncertainty.
A gossiping exchange about a Blimley sister engagement prompts jokes about a starter and old Blimley’s reaction. Other snippets include compliments about a hat and quips about lazy men and job hunting and a teacher pupil exchange.
A collage of humorous exchanges from papers like the Washington Star Brooklyn Life Chicago Tribune and Cleveland Leader features remarks on friendship indorsed notes poetry quotes and vanity. The snippets reveal social banter and marital quirks from early columns and syndicated humor items.
A humorous exchange contrasts a boy’s counting over five with a news item about Army Orders requiring caps worn straight. Private O Malley’s crooked cap joke leads to a sergeant remark, while another quip questions a limp and sling from a ball game with an office team.
In Seattle, Tommy’s first trolley ride prompts a string of questions about electricity, dynamos, and trolley mechanics. His father and the car’s crew exchange exasperated replies as the ride ends with amused passengers recalling the boy’s quizzical commentary.
A New York inventor observes the insecure attachment between corset and skirt and suggests improvements. The device pairs one part to the corset and the other to the skirt, aiming for better support and reliability. The note urges women to lead in adopting and promoting garment innovations.
A novel skirt holder made from wire bends to the shown shape. It has a lower safety pin like section hooking to the waistband and an upper catch attached to the corset eyelets. The device keeps the skirt in place and stabilizes the waist relative to the skirtband.
Wu Ting Fang, former Chinese minister, argues China has no anti foreign sentiment except toward the United States. He supports the boycott as a fair response to discrimination against Chinese visitors and asserts the exclusion act harms China and Americans alike. He urges Congress to ease or amend the act to avoid further tensions.
The president and canal commission favor the lock system for Panama. Engineers say conversion to sea level later is possible with limited extra cost, and initial costs are lower for the lock plan. Foreign engineers misled by Suez results, Americans cite Soo canal data supporting the lock option.
The country mourns David Bremmer Henderson of Iowa a Civil War veteran and ex speaker of the national House of Representatives. He rose from private to colonel and after the war led a public career as collector of revenue district attorney and congressman for twenty years. He chaired key committees and guided legislation earning wide regard for intellect and parliamentary skill. His hospitality and leadership left a lasting imprint on U S public life.
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