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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Austin Daily Herald
Location
Austin, Minnesota, United States of America
Date
Sep 02, 1908
Page
4
A satirical piece recounts Herr Professor Schiltner’s experiment with a herring in fresh water then a dry tank and finally a cage. The fish thrives until it drowns after a missing drink, prompting reflections on science and consequence.
A Turkish soldier’s camel, praised for its gentleness and strength, becomes violent at Raifeh while the man sleeps beside it. The beast tramples the saddle and staff, prompting alarm in the camp as the frightened Turk reacts to the brutal assault.
Mr Willia Miles once verger of Rochester cathedral famed as the original of Mr Tope in Edwin Drood amused Dean Hole on a birthday with a quip about family. When asked how many children his mother bore he said he was the eldest of twelve. The dean replied you never saw your youngest brother, Miles retorted I did with ten miles between you.
The twelve labors are cited as slay the Nemean lion, kill the Lernean hydra, capture the Arcadian stag, destroy the Erymanthian boar, cleanse King Augeus stables, drive away the Stymphalian birds, capture the Cretan bull, seize the horses of Diomedes, obtain the girdle of Hippolyta, capture the cattle of Geryon, obtain the apples of the Hesperides, and bring Cerberus from the underworld.
A small boy questions a minister about a Phi Beta Kappa key hanging from his watch chain. The minister denies losing the charm of youth as the boy accuses him of misplacing it. The brief exchange unfolds under a judge’s gaze.
Mr Winmore asks an oculist for glasses and notes green giraffe appears sharpest while red elephant and purple hippopotamus remain noticeably blurred according to Puck’s dialogue. The exchange highlights patient perception and eyeglass testing.
A brief London Telegraph quip notes a comment about kicking Jimpson after he calls someone an ass. The exchange plays on words about kicking and the insult, highlighting wit over a minor clash.
Aunty Tommy questions a missing pie after a child named Tommy claims three pies were present yesterday but only one remains. The child explains it was very dark and he did not see the second pie. The exchange is recounted in a short Punch magazine style vignette.
In Samoa at Apia the Stevensons custom and late mornings under a hill tree are described along with a consent to attend a consul's reception pending Mrs Stevenson's missing shoe. A local magistrate hears a humorous defense about eating deceased animals and a gander.
An 1787 fashion journal described an opera dress with terms like stifled sighs and discreet complaints. The piece notes the era’s jargon amused contemporaries but leaves today’s readers puzzled by phrases such as sustained sentiments and beggar on horseback.
In a well known cafe a debate on the flying machine and other inventions turns humorous as a solemn member jokes that the telephone dates back to the garden of Eden citing a playful code 2-8-1 Apple. The scene captures a witty exchange from the New York Globe.
A young Scotch emigrant faced a Nova Scotia court magistrate charged with hay.
Reads like a miscellany of notes on Hindoo confections and a humorous bicycle anecdote about a misdirected diner. It closes with a brief exchange on migratory birds noting swallows in Central America and robins in the southern states.
A dentist explains that a tooth nerve is dying while probing it. the patient protests that the dying deserve more respect. The exchange highlights tension between medical procedure and patient dignity.
A London Opinion item notes a curate regretting loneliness after his wife’s death and the sorrow it brings to his life and faith.
A clergyman laments excess of music in worship and recalls a South Carolina preacher told not to exceed twelve minutes. He notes a supply preacher in a famed church faced hostility as the choir leader shouted from the loft to sit down until his turn.
New York correspondent reports on harmful home remedies used for animal bites and wounds on the east side. A Bellevue Intern notes dangerous practices including using portions of the biting dog and dirty poultices to treat cuts. Two boys with cigar binders on wounds are cited as further evidence of unsafe first aid methods.
A fragment from a London Academy piece describes pupils learning music with semitone practice and a playful song about garden flowers and nature. The quirky phonetic rendering of words evokes a whimsical classroom mood and a focus on pronunciation and tune.
An excerpt from the New York Mail praising pack mules as patient and indispensable in mountains. It notes the mule's obedience after initial struggles with loads and describes the humorous belief that mules can sing, a notion attributed to human delusion rather than animal nature.
A Manchester Guardian style column quotes Bishop Knox and political figures, noting verbose mixed metaphors in Commons debates. It cites references to irreligion, intemperance, an education bill, and moisture in tobacco as emblematic topics in 19th century discourse.
A Detroit Free Press style yaffle captures two jokes. A husband mistakes leeks for tulip bulbs in a leek soup misdelivery and a cockney learns bacon methods from a wary farmer. The humor hinges on mistaken identity and rustic cleverness.
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