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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Athena Press
Location
Athena, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Mar 20, 1914
Page
4
An old ad promotes California Syrup of Figs as a gentle laxative for children and adults, claiming quick relief from constipation and mentioning a 60 cent bottle with Seestiaay for babies. The text weaves in assorted quips about onlookers, a steam shovel, and amateur definitions, blending product copy with unrelated snippets.
An ad touts a fifty cent bottle of Pape's Diapépsin as a quick fix for indigestion and stomach disorders. It promises relief in five minutes and proclaims itself the world’s fastest stomach doctor. Mixed in a consumer blurb is a biographical note about Mr Cohen, a janitor turned businessman who laments illiteracy.
Ed and Joe thirst on a hot July day reach a farmer with four women at the door. Milk denied, but buttermilk offered instead and gladly shared. The traveler offers payment. the woman declines, saying she would give it to the pigs anyway.
The fragment mentions Putnam FPadeless Dyes lasting until wear and a claim about German 40,000 candlepower searchlights. It also cites the Bible’s counts and a vaccination record note from 1913 about typhoid prevention in the US Army, used in city hospitals to protect staff.
A woman visits a friend while the husband contemplates moving to the country. The visitor questions contentment in a titled place. The friend replies she could endure it if she were alone there and owned an automobile, referencing a New York Times sentiment.
An advertisement touts a natural botanical medicine for poisoned blood rheumatism and skin infections. It claims pure state with no minerals or drugs, offering a book and urging readers to insist on genuine preparations from The gift of life.
Captain C H Stigand recounts a near escape from a wounded young bait elephant. He describes dodging, tripping, crawling through branches, and finally shooting the elephant in the brain as his rifle jammed and a crew member offered a second rifle. A luxury craze and a cheeky London arrest follow in a mixed column.
A solemn eyed child asks if it is God's day. the aunt and mother debate the boy's fate and piety. He eagerly seeks the daily answer as the story shifts from religion to a caricature of a wartime mock duel between nations with a grim joke about guillotines.
A 1912 census figures Ireland show 1,078,238 people engaged in farm work on June 1, 1912, about 24 percent of the population of 4,390,219. Of these, 810,503 were male and 262,785 female.
A compact promotional piece arguing that products fail when they don t fulfill promises. It highlights Dr Kilmer s Swamp Root as a trusted kidney, liver and bladder remedy with broad customer reports of success and an offer to send a bottle by Parcels Post from Binghamton New York for ten cents.
An advertisement extols Lydia B. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a trusted forty year standard remedy. A Montpelier Vermont resident testifies to improved health and relief from pains after using the product. The ad invites readers to write to Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co for information.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer item recounts Sam Johnson being awoken by a ring at the back door. A hungry tramp asked for food, searched the larder, and vanished to repeat the plea at the next door, prompting Johnson to whistle to no avail. The scene includes a political donation joke about spending for campaigns.
Advert says Cascarets cleanse and regulate the stomach remove sour food and gases ease constipation indigestion and biliousness claim relief for head and stomach while you sleep 10 cent box touted to keep liver and bowels clean and bright. It also touts a weighty claim about Miss Margaret Montgomery of Stillwater Oklahoma lifting 700 pounds a world record for the light weight.
A collage of quirky dialogue and captions from a vintage newspaper page. Snippets reference Radium pills, farm life, municipal tree plans, vaudeville acts, a Christmas ride, and humorous quips about actors, mushrooms, and advertisements. Multiple brief scenes appear with names and dated cultural touchstones.
A crowded rush hour streetcar sees a gaudy young man step on a German’s toes. The German retorts that walking on his feet is his right, while cheekily noting he has no privilege to concede. The anecdote appears in Lippincott's Magazine.
An advertisement touts H Howardton's Danderine as a solution to dandruff and hair loss. It claims the product stops itching and restores lustre and strength, urging readers to buy a 25 cent bottle from drug stores for brighter hair. The piece includes a brief, dated exchange from Sydney Bulletin.
A fragmented quip parade cites Dr Vermitage's Dead Shot and a critic's jab at life accuracy. The dialogue references a young lady ordering a four dollar dinner and a colonel praised as a judge of horseflesh, with remarks about European dining.
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