Witty miscellany from Ames Times readers
A collage of pithy quotes on finance, society, authors, and politics. Snippets reference Mark Twain, Sir Gilbert Parker, Hall Caine, Witte, and Mabie while commenting on New York life, protection, debt, and credit in a colloquial, satirical tone.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Gilbert Parker
England
Tired Nervous Mothers Find Relief in Lydia Pinkham’s Compound
A classic late 19th century appeal claims many nervous prostration cases in women stem from female disorders. It promotes Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound as the best remedy, with testimonials from Mrs. Chester Curry and Mrs. Charles F. Brown. Free advice from Mrs. Pinkham is offered to sick women.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lydia E. Pinkham
Chester Curry
Ladies’ Symphony Orchestra
Saratoga Street
Boston
Mass
Pinkham
Charles F. Brown
Mothers’ Club
Cedar Terrace
Hot Springs
Ark
Puzzle: Arrange three nines to show the number twenty
A historical note explains the number nine’s quirks and onetime mystic’s challenge to Plato. It describes using three nines arranged as a fraction to represent eleven and then a puzzle to make twenty, ending with the simple arithmetic solution 18 divided by 9 equals 2. the text cites London Tit-Bits.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Academia
Plato
Chappie
London
Teuf Teuf Popular French Car Name Sparks Playful Mimicry
In France the nickname teuf-teuf for automobiles delights readers as a vivid label, with readers proposing even livelier variants like honk-zipp phew to capture the vehicle’s sounds and movement.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
France
Witty quips on hats, drinks, and clever inventions
A column of satirical jibes targets a man driven to drink by his wife’s gaudy hat, a Oklahoma inventor of a match-scratcher, and a jab at novelists for not following a lead pencil joke, with a quip about ice plants in Alaska.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Oklahoma
Alaska
How old is Ann puzzle maker edits New York comic weekly
The creator of the "How old is Ann" puzzle has moved on to edit a New York comic weekly. The remark hints at continued belief in poetic justice.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York Comic Weekly
Virginia kissing value sparks court dispute
A court in Virginia set the value of kisses at 20 dollars each, a rule that arouses debate about manners toward foreigners. The remark notes that anyone who has kissed a Virginia girl should not protest the high valuation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Virginia
Barons Held in New Jersey Jails for Debt
A baron and a count were jailed in New Jersey for debt after a day of travel on foot toward Pittsburg. This incident highlights the era’s harsh debt penalties and mobility limits for titled nobility.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Jersey
Pittsburg
Czar's Palace Guards to Increase Amid Security Concerns
A St. Petersburg dispatch reports a raised guard count around the Czar's palace amid security worries. The note raises a question whether the Czar contemplates attempting an escape.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
St. Petersburg
Fragments of War Casualty Words Across The Caucasus
A stark observation notes that readers forget casualties in distant conflicts like the Caucasus, regardless of whether the toll is ten or one hundred thousand. The lament highlights media desensitization and the audience’s urge for the next headline.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
The
Caucasus
College Graduates Shaped by Higher Education in Baseball
The article asserts higher education widens a young man’s usefulness and cites the success of college graduates in professional baseball as evidence.
Carnegie Sees European Alliance Through Marriage
Andrew Carnegie argues in favor of a European union forged by alliance and marriage of prominent families. The notion suggests transforming international ties into a unified, enduring partnership.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Andrew Carnegie
United States
United State
Boston Under a Gallic Spell Restive Or Resting
The New York Tribune music critic claims Boston is under a Gallic spell but misstates the sentiment. He likely means the city is restive rather than resting, signaling tension or agitation in the cultural scene.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York Tribune
Boston
Shaw offers to pay for unshared clippings
G Bernard Shaw proposes paying a clipping bureau five cents for every clipping about him it does not send to him. He is noted as skilled in obtaining low advertising rates.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
G. Bernard Shaw
Mr. Shaw
King Edward and Chaffee Missed Meeting Then
The King wished to see General Chaffee but an engagement kept him away. If Chaffee had been English the royal wish would have been a command, yet as an American the wish did not stick.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Edward
Chaffee
Bomb-throwing stage threatens imperial safety in war talk
A paragraph warns that Chinese progress in weapons could force the empress dowager to sleep in a time-locked safe within a few years if Russia continues its rapid advance.
How a Friend Ship Grew
A historical note on Sapolio, detailing how households welcomed the cleaning product as a newer and more effective helper. The text describes women’s shift in use, from general cleaning to laundry, and how hands and surfaces softened, stains faded, and complexions appeared brighter as children accepted the process.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sapolio
Official Seal Used in Japan Signals Mikado Signature
The item notes the official seal used in Japan and emphasizes that the signature of the Mikado is its chief point. It states that peace between Russia and Japan was not officially completed until a formal acknowledgment was made.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Japan
Russia
Signature and Seal of the Japanese Mikado Described
The passage explains the reproduction of the emperor’s signature and seal. It notes the signature reads Mutsuhito at the top and the great seal uses ancient Chinese characters. The square reads Supreme Ruler of Great Dai Nippon, with Nippon as Japan and Dai Nippon meaning the empire.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mutsuhito
Japan
Nippon
Rats Hideout Found Behind Old Chimney in Connecticut
When the chimney at Dwight Flint’s East Hampton home was torn down, brick openings near the base held corncobs buttons and similar items. A pair of old shoes was discovered, suggesting rats used the hiding place to store these objects.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dwight Flint Place
East Hampton
Conn
Forbidden Citadel Photos Taken by Visitor at Halifax Fort
Robert Greaves of Adams took two interior photographs inside the citadel at the Halifax fort during a vacation. He says he knew filming was forbidden but acted without deceit and was unaware his action could cause serious consequences if discovered.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Citadel
Robert Greaves
Adams
Halifax
N. S
Greaves
Cake Test Prompts Sapolio Kitchen Debate
A bold shopper brings home a cake and compares Sapolio with kitchen soap for many tasks. A family tests both products on greasy pans and other uses, noting surprising differences in lather and results.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jane
Will You Marry Me No Answer Typewriter Retort
Town Topics reports a playful exchange where one person proposes and the response is a witty line about becoming a typewriter to the other, capturing light social banter. The item highlights social quick wit without other names or places.
Baby Eczema Healed by Cuticura Soap and Ointment
A Brooklyn mother reports her ten month old daughter suffered severe eczema including a black ear and raw facial sores that bled on washing. She used Cuticura Soap and Ointment, and the child's skin healed completely without scars or blemish.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cuticura
Rose Esther
Eckford St
Brooklyn, N. Y
Downed Man Advice Turns Ethical Ballad
An obscure quote advises restraint in conflict, suggesting mercy when an opponent is vulnerable. It frames empathy as a communal value and warns against exploiting weakness when peers are also vulnerable.
Storekeepers and Hotelkeepers Should Investigate Acetylene
The note urges storekeepers and hotelkeepers to investigate acetylene matters and commands to write "Acetylene Jones" today, though details are sparse and unclear.
Train Brake Incident Sees Lady Lose False Teeth
On a Liverpool to London train a rapid jerk on the communication cord triggered an emergency brake. A fashionable lady, seen looking from the window, dropped her false teeth in a compartment and asked the conductor to reverse the train to retrieve them. A separate remark notes a man is startled by a baby crying while a woman is said to move quickly when frightened.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Liverpool
London
Philadelphia Press Quarrel Sparks Family Unrest
A fragment from the Philadelphia Press shows a man apologizing for quarreling with his wife. He mentions she has gone to her mother and contemplates whether her mother will return home.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Phadelphia Press
Neighbor’s Porch Visit Noted in Quiet Afternoon
A fragment notes a neighbor who is described as kind and young, wearing gauzy sleeves, sitting on the porch with her companion during a calm afternoon. The casual exchange hints at neighborhood social norms and idle observation.
Fragmentary quote from Detroit Press prompts doubt
Readable text shows a stray dialogue line questioning abstinence and a directive to stop and think. The fragment mentions a person’s head and a remark in quotes but lacks clear context, setting, or outcome.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Detroit Press
Vague Political Exchange Mentioned in Puck Cartoon
A fragment from a Puck cartoon features dialogue on campaign spending and a senator’s fitness, noting misinformed claims and rhetorical challenges in a political context. The text reflects satirical commentary on electoral influence and public service.
Father and son argue over happiness in work
A St Louis Globe Democrat quotation shows a father asking why his son does not work and the son replying he aims to lead a life of Jenia in which happiness is not involved and he resists temptation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sappio
Jenia
St. Louis Globe Democrat
Money May Buy Popularity But Bag Market Fluctuates
Analyzed market note shows consumer appeal not guaranteed by price. bag market experiences volatility with shifting demand. Investors track brands, materials, and trends as popularity ebbs and flows.
Australian-Leaf herbal remedy pitched to women
A nurse in New York promotes AUSTRALIAN-LEAF from The Mother Gray Co. claiming it relieves female weaknesses backache urinary troubles and other ailments. A free sample is offered by mail from LeRoy New York.
Flattery and vanity in a reflective line
A concise observation notes flattery as a saltlike seasoning for vanity, framing praise as a culinary metaphor for self-regard.
Lewis' Single Binder Cigars Marketed for Quality
An advertisement from the Lew Factory in Peoria promotes Lewis' Single Binder cigars made with extra quality tobacco. The copy notes a shift from 10c cigars to Lewis' product as a preferred choice for smokers seeking better tobacco.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Uality
Mam
Pew
Lew Factory
Peoria
Blushes Rising As She Faces Flirtatious Jealousies
A playful note warns a girl that her blushes are coming as she becomes the target of attention or gossip. The message hints she will be pursued for the things that cause her excitement or embarrassment.
Cure cannot be too highly spokes of si g cough cure
A fragment from a 1900 Minneapolis notice mentions J W O Ramm and a Minneapolis address with a date of January 6 1900. The text appears garbled and unlikely to convey a complete event or action.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. W. O' Ramm
Minneapolis
Minn
The Way to a Man’s Heart Lies Through His Stomach
A witty adage notes that affection follows a meal while motive follows money, mixing culinary charm with financial leverage as a humorous social observation.
Adroit rascals in the Philippines drain bottles by tampering
The article warns of Chinamen in the Philippines who remove bottle labels drill a small hole fill with a substituted liquid and reseal. It also notes a future ideal where women’s wages enable them to support husbands as they should.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Philippines
Devar
Also Mentioned on This Page
Ames Times
AMES
Iowa
Mrs. Reader
New York World
Witte
Mark Twain
New York
Labor Bureau
Hall Caine
Hamilton W. Mabie
Ham
Wall Street
Nerous
Mrs
Chas. F Brown
Kalamazoo
Sand Postal
Catatogue
Kalamazoo Stove Company
Kalamaz
Michigan
AD Cock
Price
FF. W. Diemer
M. D
Sarinafield, Mo
Chicago
Buffalo, N.Y
Chase & Baker Co
Wabash Ave
Athen
Shaw
Man Chow
Sappho
Chen
Jlemee
Sarouio
United S& Senate
Puck