Laughing at Life Across Exchanges and Jokes
A miscellany of quips and anecdotes from periodicals. A bureau chief at dinner sneezes. a door between him and a window frames the moment. A Populist editor meets St. Peter who sends him back to Kansas.
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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 25, 1895
Page
2
A miscellany of quips and anecdotes from periodicals. A bureau chief at dinner sneezes. a door between him and a window frames the moment. A Populist editor meets St. Peter who sends him back to Kansas.
A conman recalls a failed West mine scheme named the Oyster and a hoodoo curse. The tale ends with Alphonso swearing he will never return to his father’s house, reflecting a grim turn of misfortune and family estrangement.
Quote from Mrs Longwed praising her husband for remaining calm and not noticing a crowd of women while seated, with Mrs Bride noting his reliability. Report appears in the Boston Transcript.
An archaic scene recalls a record heat moment as Lamech and Methuselah discuss the hottest day in memory under a fig tree. The passage blends biblical names with a surreal, fragmentary Chicago Tribune vibe and a yesteryear pitch reference.
The dialogue discusses how a woman alternates between clinging and self assertive behavior depending on circumstances. Bass notes that when she wears a new dress or bonnet, she starts in the clinging role, then shifts to self assertive if that approach fails, and ends by insisting on the dress or bonnet.
Comic exchange at the Pearly Gate features St. Peter debating a man claiming entry after seventeen years. The assistant says the man died in Philadelphia and Peter grants entry, noting he is the fifth from there.
In a Chicago Record anecdote an impresario questions a health claim by a female aspirant and declares she cannot become a great prima donna. The exchange highlights ambition clashing with perceived limitations in the theater world.
A fragmentary line hints at longing as the speaker recalls seeing the girl they desire. The terse text centers on admiration and pursuit, with an enigmatic note of treasure as a metaphor for the beloved.
Uncle Hiram laments bunco steerers during a visit to New York as a judge questions the source of the claim.
A Washington Star excerpt presents a speaker recounting being challenged to fight and replying with restraint. The dialogue emphasizes personal agency and a preference for politeness over coercion in conflict.
Bellefield discusses his athletic lineage in the Chicago Tribune dialogue. Bloomfield confirms the family's notoriety with an anecdote about a father who once held up a train and an aunt with shoplifting history and an uncle known for jumping board bills.
Weary Raggles accuses Meandering Mike of disrupting a small club's harmony by hitting Happy Hours with a coupling pin. Puck notes Meandering Mike mocked Whiskers and Svengali comparisons stirred tension among the group.
The piece laments vanished rural charm and failed markets as farmers face a mortgage burden. It contrasts lilting landscapes with economic hardship and notes readers lost to debt. The voice critiques a boom by citing a lack of butter and fresh eggs while dreams fade.
An evocative sketch depicts a woman negotiating a muddy road, highlighting resilience and ordinary movement. The scene centers on careful footprints and a poised stance, capturing a moment of everyday perseverance.
R W Edwards of Lansingburgh, a Civil War veteran and G A R officer, describes a century ride to Washington, sunstroke, and a broken nervous system. He credits Pink Pills with restoring sleep, reducing head pressure, improving circulation, and reviving energy for a busy spring.
Farmers are urged to try Salter's hardy Red Cross Wheat claiming 80 bushels per acre and Rye at 60 bushels per acre. Crimson Clover is offered at 3.60 a bushel with many grass and clover seeds for fall seeding. request catalogue from John A Salter Seed Co La Crosse Wisconsin. A white panther arrives at Paris Jardin des Plantes, a color unseen in any menagerie.
The Yellowstone Park is praised for its grand scenery including geysers, canyons, forests, and lakes. A recent fare reduction and easier travel are advertised with a pamphlet offering full information from J Francis of Burlington Route in Omaha.
A brief note records Billy Brown announcing he has remarried and now goes by Mr Simpkins. The Indianapolis Journal quotes his playful aside about changing identity after marriage.
Chicago Great Western Railway offers a first class excursion to Boston for the Knights Templar Triennial Conclave August 26 30 with tickets on sale August 19 to 24. Return validity through September 15 or October 6 with extension via joint Boston lines agent. one way/return routes allowed. For rates contact CGW Ry agents or F H Lord Chicago.
The article recounts a 1862 Osage ambush near Drum Creek where Confederate officers attempting to raise plains Indians were killed. White Wing and Little Bear’s bands trapped them, beheading all and burying the bodies as troops later investigated.
A new housewife salad from Boston combines equal parts cooked green peas with English walnut meats on lettuce. It is dressed with either French or mayonnaise dressing, using either fresh market or Marseilles style peas.
Billville briefs note the Wholesale Grocers' association meets in Atlanta on Wednesday and the American Waterworks association meets there on Tuesday. The item adds a humorous line about water being unknown in Billville and mentions a very cold June. The piece ends with a quip about selling tackle for an overcoat and giving a half interest in the paper for a stove.
Tobacco use damages nerves and brain power. No-To-Bac promises relief with a guarantee through Sterling Remedy Co. in New York City or Chicago.
A manager insists on realism in a wood scene with a growling bear like effect. An assistant notes six or seven chorus girls have gone ten weeks without wages and will be summoned to address the delay.
The wife Mrs Brown is described as retiring early and setting a 3 o'clock alarm when her husband is expected to be out late. She rises refreshed and reproachful, reflecting a tense domestic rhythm.
A parental advisory promotes the Academy of the Sacred Heart in St Joseph Missouri. It touts attractive buildings and grounds a healthful locality thorough teaching and reasonable terms. The next session opens September 3 1895. For more information contact Mother Superior.
A French Canadian editor faced a $200 fine after accusing a brother editor of being a Methodist. The case centers on defamatory labeling within the journalism community and the resulting financial penalty.
The Notre Dame University announces its fifty second session opening September 3 1895 inviting parents to inquire for details before choosing other schools. It claims superior facilities for mind and heart education. The notice also recalls that London’s first mayor was elected in 1209.
When traveling, carry Syrup of Figs to aid kidneys liver and bowels and prevent fevers headaches. Sold in 50c and 1 bottles by leading druggists. Manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. A £7500 chair arrives in Paris with forelegs of solid gold.
Conductor E. D. Loomis of Detroit declares the effect of Hall's Catarrh Cure is wonderful and urges readers to write him about it. The product is sold by druggists for 5 cents.
A collage of 1894 era notices quotes Princess Maud as a musician and references Piso’s Cure for Consumption. It cites medical claims, a Japanese coin value, and various ads for remedies and products. The piece notes Kansas has twenty women as county superintendents and ends with miscellany on health quotes and mining statistics.
This excerpt lists curious etymologies and historical notes. It covers population figures, a Swedish self propelled bicycle, changes in garment terminology, and fashion objects. It notes Sicily’s history of foreign domination and linguistic origins for pane bonnet and wheel farthingales with brief explanations.
A riding and bicycle academy is announced for New York with a projected cost of 321 500 dollars. World coal production last year reached 553 700 000 tons.
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