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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 01, 1904
Page
5
A clever monkey feigns illness to lure crows stealing his porringer. He defends his meal and captures a crow, then tosses it into the air as the crowd’s birds attack and kill it. The piece cites Darwin observing a female orangutan and notes 19th century tea customs in Lahore and Thackeray.
A 1536 English statute limited meals to at most two courses with two sorts of flesh or fish plus pottage, allowed on sixteen festival days a year, and permitted three courses on major feast days. It extended Edward II’s ordinance of nobles and echoed 1363 provisions for workers.
The piece cites Carlyle of Inveresk 1763 noting ladies serving afternoon tea in Harrogate. It adds 1766 correspondence from Eton student William Dutton asking for tea and sugar in the afternoon to keep company with peers. Dr Somerville’s 740 account of Scottish social habits follows.
A tiny Glasgow pub on a busy street holds eight customers at most. Locals call it the Coffin and assign quirky nicknames to drinks and fare with a whisky named a nail a beer a lid brandy and soda a monument sandwiches gravestones and cigarettes worms.
A Washington Star snippet presents a witty exchange between a long haired young man with glasses and Miss Cayenne. The young man compares the world to a bulky mule while Miss Cayenne counters that the world sees a genius as a horse trying to run away.
A concise aphorism on how kindness can accompany disagreement and reduce strife. It suggests that expressing kind thoughts with as much care as critical ones would make life smoother. The note frames disagreement as a daily mental exercise rather than hostility.
A Philadelphia Press tale notes a collie who, after one bee sting in puppyhood, now instinctively chases a flying insect and, upon seeing one, licks his injured paw two years later. The owner says the dog’s reaction is a remembered wound rather than current pain.
A New York Press excerpt shows Mr Up to Date planning to teach Willie self defense with boxing lessons. After twenty minutes he returns nursing a sore eye and admits the only effective method may be a strap.
Curated notes recount Frederick I of Prussia dying from fear after his wife’s alleged attack and a Dutch artist Pentman’s death from fright amid skeletal displays. The tale links fear to deaths and contrasts it with a late 19th century political chamber gag where a motion failed after Speaker Carlisle overruled and excused a member.
Maud HB Sargent summarizes Longman's Magazine on St Stephen's Day customs in Ireland. The wren bush tradition is linked to ancient Druids and winter solstice rites with legends of the wren as a prophetic druid bird.
In an 1888 congress all night session on the Mills tariff bill, attendance was enforced by sergeant at arms. Henderson was brought before the speaker admitting no excuse for absence while others urged a $5,000 fine. The motion to fine was moved and seconded by his colleagues.
Short editorial snippets urge kindness and temperance in daily life. Wry maxims comment on aging, kinship, procrastination, and patient resilience, reflecting a midwestern paper’s light moral humor.
The couple ponders how different life would be if their parents had never met or if they had never been born or loved each other, a meditation on fate and connection.
Long list of visits and events from Ames including Miss Vina Clark at Boone Thanksgiving with her mother Miss Helen Prouty with Miss Louise Rowe at Boone and Miss Hattie Pike with Mrs De Ette Kelly at Perry Also notices of professors at farmers institutes and horticultural meetings across Des Moines Onawa Storm Lake Marshalltown and Fort Collins Colorado with faculty receptions resignations and upcoming oratorical contest at the college.
A quip about lawyers from Susan Clegg and Her Friend by Anne Warner. The speaker mocks legal jargon and doubts a lawyer’s honesty while acknowledging their skill and the public’s confusion. The excerpt highlights skepticism toward legal language and perceived manipulation.
A nobleman accused of insanity by relatives is questioned by Lord Loughborough. He is asked how many legs a sheep has. The nobleman replies with a joke about a live sheep having four legs and a dead sheep two, while the others being shoulders.
Dialogue from Omaha News notes Mrs Gadderly undergoes rest cure and remains anxious to rest. The exchange questions whether the treatment helped, concluding it did not improve her condition.
In a brief exchange two people joke about making clothes from wood as a new danger. They imagine woodpeckers and squirrels invading wardrobes while moths become obsolete. The quirky remark reflects light social humor.
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy should be given as soon as hoarseness appears or when croupy cough shows to prevent an attack. It never fails, and is pleasant and safe to take. Sold by all druggists.
Bilious colic warning advises taking a double dose at first sign to ward off a threatened attack. Hundreds report success using Chamberlain’s Colic Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. Sold by all druggists.
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