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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Intelligencer
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Sep 19, 1895
Page
3
A humorous collage features sports parodies and pranks from classic papers. A wry cartoonish tone highlights a shy fast pitcher and a traveling gent’s miscue with a train timetable. A temperance classroom anecdote ends with a punch line on actions over causes.
In the village of Sertland gossip and church rule as minister Douger McSorlie tries door to door mission work. He confronts Donald Campbell a free thinking Scot who mocks religious zeal with blunt replies and wit.
A humor piece recalls Baldwin Sowers, the top painter at a Paris Salon, whose still life cheese was eaten by mice after a thief cut a hole in the canvas. Sowers quips he painted it with too much fidelity, noting the mice chewed the cheese. Also a brief joke about a boy named Hans absent from school.
In a moment of quiet exchange a man declares his new idea and writes it down with eager trembling. His wife hurries to share the news with neighbors, noting another appendicitis case on the street.
A San Francisco Post item parodies absentmindedness as a form of insanity. Mr Boggs jokes about Fogg misplacing glasses and a friend losing his teeth while Dudely Canesucker orders fried calf brains only to learn the brains are absent.
A humorous anecdote describes Jonesy returning home late with a lump of chalk in his pocket. His wife quips about giving up billiards and resting, and Jonesy joked that he slept as long as possible and still could not see the ball when striking.
Customer notes two silks look alike yet priced at ninety eight cents and one dollar ten. Clerk responds simply that the difference is twelve cents.
Journal snippets parodying humor columns and comic exchanges. The pieces cite lines from Yonkers Statesman Philadelphia Record Indianapolis Journal Chicago Record Nashville American and reveal banter on manners money and fashion. The tone mimics a collage of punchy quips and light social observations.
The Boston auctioneer Frank T. Ware recounts a six year paralysis battle begun by a stroke. After failed remedies electricity and massage offered little aid, until Dr Williams Pink Pills restored strength and vitality, letting him work daily at 235 Washington Street. He notes family paralysis history and praises the pills for renewing blood and nerves.
A compact roundup of diverse facts including salt water density, a Brooklyn copperhead kill, Imperial punishment in China, high altitude wheat farming in the Andes, a one armed Georgia plower, and immigration figures. It also notes London parks plans, a 5009 year dragon tree claim, a Virginia hotel with distant views, state pension leaders, English corporate interest payouts, Bremen wine storages, Indiana corn yield, giraffe hide value, Armenian obituary by photographic substitute, and the longest chess game by mail spanning five to six years.
Mrs Harvey Donagher of Fostoria Ohio faced a strange accident when large sleeves lit by gas from a gasoline stove caused her to become briefly airborne in her home. She screamed for help but was alone until the gas escaped and she landed unharmed apart from a minor forehead bruise.
John Henry Barker once a New York millionaire lost his property and now travels the country taking orders for soap and window screens. Former real estate agent, he helped feed thousands during the bread panic two years ago and says he slept in Central Park for twenty one nights awaiting promised aid.
The Pennsylvania Supreme Court upheld the late Samuel Eddinger's will from Moore Township. It appoints his son John to receive real estate and manages a lifetime annuity for daughter Margret while settling debts and funeral expenses. The document, largely in the testator's handwriting, also contains a self serving allocation of funds and the start of a life estate for Margret's dowry.
The essay recounts George Stephenson shutting a hot window and discovering a bird's nest. He mourns when the mother and four chicks die despite his efforts to revive them, showing tenderness amid his monumental engineering achievements. A mention of a Manchester Times and a later poem fragment follows.
A Kansas City Star recounts a breakfast scene where a man with extreme finickiness demands precise details. The waiter remains polite, carefully noting each instruction from hot coffee to dry tomatoes and eggs fried on one side.
Victoria cherishes photography as a royal amusement and owns a vast album of early daguerreotype portraits. Some images date to Daguerre’s era and appear ghostly or spirit-like, yet show the transition to modern techniques and tonal gradations.
Medical authorities in Europe discuss a new serum for consumption with high claims. Reports show improvement in eighty-three cases where cures were not achieved, suggesting it deserves trial though results remain inconclusive.
A resident voices frustration with overcrowding in a flat saying there is no room for complaint and that the place is constantly crowded. The exchange captures tensions over space and living conditions.
Nebraska predicts 225000000 bushels of grain plus potatoes, hay, and other crops. The Burlington Route offers low excursion rates west of the Missouri River on September 10 and 2 percent. Contact agents or J Prax pressers, GPA, Omaha. Notes on Lord Bacon and Gladstone appear as historical trivia.
A short Denver clipping notes that John Bright was never at school a day after he turned 15, with reference to Zeph. Chas. Felt 207 Boston Building.
A home journal note advises on leg dressing with stockings. It says darker shading on the lower leg creates a slender ankle and fuller calf, while reversing colors makes the leg look straight and ungraceful. Dark shading should not wrap the front of the ankle for a curved look. A booted stocking up to the calf swell gives the best appearance.
In a brisk chat, Mrs De G notes Miss Getting On plans a trip to Europe. Mrs De B confirms the move, asking if it is for health or pleasure. The reply says it is strictly business. she has been out seven seasons.
Henry Clay appears in the senate of the States in a controversial move argued as constitutional dissent at 2v. The note records a clash between political authority and constitutional limits. No further details are provided in the readable text.
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