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Newspaper
Ames Intelligencer
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Sep 05, 1895
Page
3
Coverage previews a booming Iowa State Fair with abundant rainfall aiding crops, a packed machinery and speed horse lineup, and strong railroad and merchant support. The daily program outlines events from September 6 to September 19, including trotting and pacing classes, displays, and Des Moines Day with civic activities.
A miscellany of short items reports river sediments and ocean chemistry, a Cape Elizabeth man fined for swearing, a fine Atlanta exposition exhibit, a French translation prep, a Cremorne bore temperature, U S beekeeping stats, mosquito eggs, locomotive pieces, Washington Capitol dome weight, stomach glands, Japan high school English policy, Seattle 1897 expo talk, reindeer strength, Boston monument plan, India rubber pencil tips origin with Magellan.
Moon experts report 132 856 craters counted on the lunar surface, all deemed dead. The tally marks a new curiosity while scientists dub it a barren landscape awaiting future exploration.
Mrs. McDonald of Meldrum avenue in Detroit testifies to Dr Williams Pink Pills curing her daughter’s neuralgia and fatigue after vaccination illness. The ad extols Pink Pills as a universal blood tonic and remedy for numerous conditions including pale complexions and nervous ailments. The piece ends with a humor cue about a horse and an emetic, reflecting a local page mix.
A fragment shows a dialogue about the world being round. A father confirms, and a child asks how it can end if the world is round. The father replies it is time for bed.
Two hobos share a street exchange about being cheated by a monte man. One notes the need to keep quiet to avoid word spreading that he works hard, reflecting urban street humor in a Detroit News Tribune item.
A staged exchange questions if the adage girls should be seen and not heard applies to men. The woman quips that men wear loud clothes while she adds the men’s provocative bathing dresses merit ridicule. The playful dialogue pokes at social norms and attire.
A conjuror at a show jokes with a boy about eggs and hens. The boy answers that mothers can get eggs by ducks, prompting a lighthearted exchange reported in the Richmond State.
Real estate ad urges purchase of Second Plat Clifton Heights lots in Des Moines noting near post office and Capitol, with price $225 rising to $250 by Sept 15 1895. Buyers receive round trip to Iowa State Fair and one day hotel and admission, plus potential $9 front foot value. References to local official Annie E. Hersey and Gov Hull bolster credibility. Archduchess Maria Theresa and John D Rockefeller Jr. appear in unrelated notices.
Reduced fare tickets via the Nickel Plate road for the German Catholic Societies of the United States meeting in Albany New York from September 15 to 18. For information contact J Y Calaban general agent 111 Adams Street Chicago. The Prince of Monaco is an accomplished bicyclist seen riding in Monte Carlo streets.
In a witty remark from Fair Intelligence, a speaker claims winter hides cleverness while heat ignites it. A countering voice quips that brilliance peaks at death, underscoring the magazine's bemused tone about intellect and seasons.
A pro North Pole expedition leader questions an applicant about frost resilience. The reply cites a ten year marriage to a Boston woman and a recent divorce as the applicant’s stated justification. The remark and retort appear in Bloomer's Weekly.
Mr Workhard laments losing his job and lacking any funds. His wife suggests grocers might trust them, but he insists he always paid cash and has no credit anywhere. The dialogue reflects a desperate, cash-first household facing poverty.
A waiter at a hotel asks a stranger where the bar is. The stranger asks back about what bar. The waiter clarifies a liquor bar, while the boy humorously wonders if it is a bar of soap. The exchange ends with a lighthearted misunderstanding.
A police officer asks Meandering Mike if he has a place to go. Mike boasts that he has the entire United States ahead of him and many batting options, expressing confusion about where to start. Washington Star notes his humorous bravado.
In a Washington Evening Star item a father scolds his son for misbehavior and the boy admits one fault he hopes earns leniency. He claims he has not run away from school lately.
A visiting Englishman quips that he will hear the Chicago Tribune’s take on a notorious tale of a countryman who wedding-spoke to a widow’s sister, prompting a sharp answer about repeated marriages and social propriety.
The Detroit Tribune notes a scene where a tragedian yells for a horse in mock Shakespearean excess, an attendant apologizes that none are available, and His Majesty orders liver and bacon with German potatoes.
Mrs Query learns that visiting the employment bureau often reveals limits. Mrs Replie notes that seekers rarely obtain desired outcomes there. The exchange highlights practical caution about job searches and available options.
A lighthearted quip about a woman known for dispersing social lemonade. The speaker explains the joke, noting she speaks sour truths in a sweet tone and turns criticism into friendly banter.
Cited call to send address to F A Hornbeck Land Commissioner Kansas City showing a seven column eight page illustrated paper about new country from Kansas City to the Gulf of Mexico. Promotes Missouri Arkansas land climate health timber and fruit lands with free pamphlet and price list. Mentions Ozarks and tropical Gulf contrasts. Includes a note on the pope as a strong chess player.
Nebraska will produce 225000000 bushels of grain plus large crops of potatoes hay and more. Low Harvest Excursion rates apply east to Burlington Route west of the Missouri River September 10 and 24. Contact nearest ticket agent or J Francie TCss General Passenger Agent Omaha Neb. Yeast is the name of a rising young man at Valentine Neb. Nickel Plate Railroad offers reduced tickets to Albany New Jersey for the German Catholic Societies meeting September 15 to 18. Zolas suburban chateau at Medan built wing by wing from novel profits.
Iowa reports a fine crop this year after two years of poor yields. Irrigation in the Grand Valley of western Colorado is advertised to ensure a good harvest each year. Potential harvest excursions may be arranged this fall with details at 207 Boston Building Denver Col. Senator Allison is noted as not an orator and seldom gives long speeches.
Treatise style ad claims miracle cures with a free $2 trial bottle. Instructions direct readers to send to Dr Kline at 931 Arch St Philadelphia Pa for an unnamed remedy promising results from the first day of use.
The statement notes that Secretary Carlisle, despite his great learning, did not attend any academy or college. It emphasizes his self-directed study rather than formal higher education.
An old advertisement notes Hanson’s Magic Corn Salve urged to cure corns with a money-back guarantee. Wording promises warrantied relief and asks readers to ask their druggist for the product at 15 cents.
A geographic survey notes South America has the longest unbroken level terrain of any nation, emphasizing its vast, flat expanse across plains and plateaus that stretch across multiple countries.
Des Moines excursion rates announced for the state fair September 6 to 13. D. M., N. & WwW. RB. R. offers one and one third fare for round trip. Tickets sold by agents or S. Trrtemore, G. P. A. Madison Cawein, the Louisville poet, has published eight volumes of verse at age 30.
A jumble of testimonials and notes describes Hall's Catarrh Cure as a internal liquid for blood and mucous surfaces, praises Piso's Cure via a Mary Tuowson letter, and credits Captain John Hinman with saving 113 lives at Coney Island. It also mentions a Russian ambassador's successor as a brother-in-law and includes stray product mentions and names.
Ex senator Ingalls of Kansas is noted at Williams College with President Garfield, graduating a year before him, while Hindercorns claim relief for corns allowing walking running and jumping freely.
The text notes about 40,000 public schools in Japan and claims education is compulsory. It mentions comfortable buildings and references tea at night affecting morning digestion in a fragmentary, non-specific way.
A series of concise proverbs expresses caution, humility, and social insight. Warnings against greed and hypocrisy appear alongside reflections on luck, reform, and perception, highlighting timeless truths through concise aphorisms.
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