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Newspaper
Ames Intelligencer
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jun 07, 1900
Page
8
An OCR fragment collects medical claims for One Minute Cough and Banner Selye remedies, praises from L. M. Bosworth and Tilden & Loughran, and notes on Pills that cleanse the liver and bowels. It also includes quips about politics, religion, and frugality.
A collection of claims for Kidney Cure products and remedies. Promotions include Foley's Kidney Cure for Brights disease and diabetes, DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve for eczema and skin conditions, Kodol Dyspepsia Cure for indigestion, Banner Salve for cuts and bruises, and general warnings against counterfeits and laxatives.
A Chicago Inter Ocean item recounts a North Side car scene where a conductor questions a woman's five dollar gold piece. He quips that he is not much of an orator as the audience learns the truth of the coin and the exchange ends with the conductor moving on. A second vignette from the Chicago Times-Herald features a colonel explaining a scar from a brick during a Chicago strike riot, contrasting saber bravado with modern peril.
A New Orleans physician recounted a case where a patient mis pinpointed abdominal pain, insisting it was on the left. The doctor clarifies the pain is typically on the right and notes the patient later dined normally despite the supposed crisis.
The anecdote recalls Robert Louis Stevenson's belief that one must be a good player to write a good story. His amanuensis Mrs Isabel Strong notes he threw energy into every pursuit. He urged a boy not to wait for a ship to port but to swim at least, demonstrating his zeal for active engagement.
In the Detroit Free Press item, Jones recalls an elderly woman who received a notice claiming a quarter tax on her property. She swore she paid it, while the official held records showing nonpayment. Their exchange turns humorous when she jokes about Jones's marriage, and she quickly blames his wife for the mistake.
A Victorian style snippet quotes a poet asking if he will be missed. The editor replies a dismissive remark about trust with a gun, implying harsh judgment on the manuscript and its author.
A Chicago parsing of a remark describes a tall man as the boss’s enforcer, tasked with verifying that others are employed and productive within the establishment.
The text explains how long service strains soldiers hearts through tight clothing worn during marches and battles. It notes irritability, flushed faces, and red ears as signs of overtaxed hearts and the risk of fainting or breakdown after strenuous deployment. It emphasizes that overstraining prevents hearts from recovering fully.
The Chicago Chronicle notes travelers frequently abbreviate in hotel logs with X O for Ohio and Z O for Zanesville and Xenia. It explains partial forms like Cols for Columbus and Cgo for Chicago and cites Pittsburg’s old D spelling as Pgh.
Two elderly women clash over a bus window with one fearing cold and death if open and the other fearing death by apoplexy if shut. A quiet old man suggests opening the window to kill one, then shutting it to end the dispute and gain peace.
During lunch a guest complained about a man standing with his back to the fire watching him eat. The other visitor refused to move until the luncheon guest asked the waiter to turn him. The joke was noted by the London Standard.
The piece argues nine tenths of stage desire stems from vanity and glamour. It warns youths that stage success requires long training, nerve shredding rehearsals, and hard knocks, with few exceptions like Garrick and Mary Anderson where success came more easily.
A fragmented timetable lists train names such as Overland Limited Pacific Express and Dakota Express with varied arrival and departure times. It includes routes Ames to Marshalltown Carroll Express and Des Moines connections, noting daily and Sunday exceptions and shorthand notes for freight and passenger services.
A Washington Star passage portrays Briggins as a shrewd negotiator who can turn a request for a dollar into a five dollar reminder. The anecdote shows the beggars in Spain and a quip on smoking being as essential as breathing across humanity, hinting at cultural attitudes.
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