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This newspaper page contains 33 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Intelligencer
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 07, 1904
Page
7
Joseph Chamberlain recounted a farmer with a new umbrella to illustrate ignorance behind criticism of his tariff reform plan. The anecdote describes the farmer's twice failing attempts to use the umbrella and his complaint it caused more trouble than worth.
New York politician Lewis Nixon finds submarine boat plans stir up skepticism among inventors. He jokes about a duck prototype able to dive scrape hull plates and then fly away releasing quacks on a steam quacker, as described by the Philadelphia Post.
A stout woman in a fashionable uptown gallery asks a photographer to slim her hips in a three quarter portrait. He proposes removing skirts but she insists the bulk is her, and demands he proceed or she will go elsewhere.
Drew J. Linard, a civil engineer who led a challenging Oroya railroad division in Peru, often travels with his wife on engineering projects. During a mule trek in Nicaragua they reached a vantage point where both oceans were visible, and his wife quipped humorously.
The German actor Ludwig Barnay claims in memoirs to have died 1,120 times and married 1,721 times. His deaths span 61 stabbings, 51 shootings, 31 beheadings, 22 drink deaths, 166 poisonings, 86 head blows, 192 heart diseases, 109 murders, 33 executions, 314 self inflicted deaths, and 55 natural deaths across 3,868 nights in 98 cities, 3,871 plays, and 455 characters.
From London comes a report that tailors induce men to accept dress reform by offering colored fabrics for evening wear. Shades include blue green crimson plum and other rich colors that appear well under artificial light. Few men have the courage to adopt the change for fear of being seen as peacocks.
The little boll weevil from Mexico has prompted Louisiana to call a special legislative session. Texas leads cotton output but faces spread of the pest across the cotton belt. Louisiana proposes a non cotton belt to starve the weevil, with losses estimated around 25 million dollars as officials seek control measures.
A famous Scottish MP visiting Chatsworth dines with the Duke of Devonshire. At home, his wife mocks noble privilege, asking what a duke would eat. The wife quips that the Chatsworth lunch was simply minced lamb on toast with geese and turkeys.
The article advises simple attire for children in dance classes. It recommends a plain frock for girls and a modest, nonfrilly outfit. For boys, avoid forcing formal outfits. simple attire with low heels is preferred to protect developing ankles.
The National Geographic Magazine notes the United States lacks native precious stones beyond what it buys abroad. In 1902 the U.S. spent $25,000,000 on imports while only $338,000 of precious stones were found domestically, mainly sapphires from Montana, turquoises from several states, and tourmalines and chrysoprases from California.
A London Tit-Bits tale recalls Kate, a young woman who, on her honeymoon, ordered goods to the Royal Hotel but sent by mistake under her maiden name. She cleverly redirected the package to Miss Kate care of Mrs Royal Hotel and left the shop with wit and polish. The note also mentions the Simplon tunnel milestone, with Milan hosting an 1905 international exposition and a $600,000 fund with royal support.
Joe Wilson stored fire and gunpowder for an election celebration. His son Robert used black powder and a lighted match, causing an explosion that singed his hair and burned his face. He hid under a sheet, claiming a terrible stomach ache as the truth emerged.
The piece contrasts 20th century Bible paraphrase choices with reactions to modern Greek renditions of classic plays. It mocks paraphrase of key verses such as a hilltop city and a levee day in heaven, suggesting absurdity and lack of reverence.
A spectacled Boston lassie who ran a country school explains to a puzzled trustee that she initially used moral suasion but switched to a tangible instrumentality, describing a good stout hickory switch as a corrective measure.
A Sicilian women only secret society called the 38 Belle Signore meets at midnight three times weekly. Tales claim they can cure diseases and enforce a harsh oath of obedience and secrecy. Peasants fear oath-breakers are transformed into toads, a belief that shields them from harsher treatment elsewhere.
Ethel visits the metropolis with her aunt Claude and sights like Coney Island Brooklyn Bridge and Central Park. They end at Grant’s Tomb where Ethel wonders if the subject of the tomb was a giant.
A Keuka Lake account recalls Jemima Wilkinson at Bluff Point leading a crowd to test her claim she could walk on water. She asked for faith from followers who answered in unison, then declined to demonstrate, saying faith would save them without her walking.
The Census Bureau reports 22 577 miles of electric railway in the United States operated by 987 companies with capital stock and funded debt totaling 2 300 000 000 dollars. They use 1 298 000 horsepower haul 5 900 000 000 passengers and employ 133 641 people.
A poem by Sarah Chauncey Woolsey speaks to the impact of small acts of kindness. A weary person gains strength from brief, warm touches or words that shelter them from hardship. The verse argues every minor gesture can alter life or death in daily moments.
In Cashmere a novel winter fodder method is described with hay hung among tree branches to feed flocks as five to six feet of snow covers the valley. The article notes the region lies in a Himalayan valley and highlights fine wool production and fabric making as a key local industry.
The article discusses Prof. Eli Metchnikoff's theory that elderly people could become the world's main workers if aging infirmities are removed. He notes parallels with certain insects where workers are non-reproductive, and suggests aging humans could perform vigorous labor in the future, though physiologists may doubt the idea.
O L Anderson offers maxims on restraint and integrity urging readers to resist license and vanity. The column contrasts self control with shrewd phrasing and notes how public opinion mirrors private conduct toward wealth and prosperity.
Rail timetable notes list arrivals departures for routes West South and North including Overland Limited Pacific Express and Dakota Express with times such as 12:40 am and 6:40 pm. Some trains do not run on Sundays and baggage check rules require arrival 20 minutes before departure per G W Rogers.
J. D. Rees argues that Persian ladies wear veils as privilege not punishment and may move freely behind a screened woman. He notes Persians typically abstain from wine but poetry praises the drink, and occasional remorse leads to destroying Armenian neighbors’ wine.
A vintage recipe describes soaking cran iated gelatine, adding hot water, cooling, then folding in stiff egg whites, lemon juice and rind, vanilla, salt, and crushed pineapple. The mixture sets in egg cups on ice, served in whipped cream nests tinted pink with strawberry juice.
The aged show an atrophied sense of smell and misperceive odors. They label strong smells as pleasant perfumes despite poor discrimination. Visual perception of flowers triggers recognition, suggesting the olfactory image has independent mental existence through functional revival.
Mr Hume Patterson for the Fishery Board of Scotland reports a shift from fungus theory to a bacillus infection. The bacterium enters through skin abrasions, activates in dead fish, and should be removed and burned to prevent spread.
A Memphis Commercial Appeal critique urges Americans to require every person to learn a trade. It contrasts Europe where kings and princesses practice crafts with English and royal apprenticeships. The piece warns idle youth and suggests government help to make youths self supporting.
The Boston Transcript notes how Paris and St Petersburg exempt buildings famed for artistry from taxes for years to encourage quality architecture. It also praises Parisian architectural standards enforced by voluntary associations and the practice of signing buildings publicly like artists.
The New Orleans Times-Democrat notes a persistent lure of the newspaper trade. It says editors and workers catch a lifelong "fever" for the craft, likening it to a legend about river water that draws a man back to the Mississippi no matter where he travels.
The passage notes a hidden Haitian nobility created by a former dictator Emperor Faustine the First. It mentions comic opera titles like the Duke of Marmelade and the Duke of Limona de, held by descendants not recognized by the Haitian government.
Mark Twain joked about his own illegible signature as an English clerk urged him to autograph a book. The author quipped that his handwriting was fading and might require someone else to write his autograph, to which the clerk replied that no one would want it then.
Fourteen tons of coal power the London Guildhall feast for Lord Mayor’s day. Forty turtles are slain to yield 260 tureens of soup, each holding a pint and a half. The serving employs 250 waiters and 8,000 plate changes, with total cost about £7,000.
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