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Newspaper
Ames Intelligencer
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Feb 07, 1901
Page
6
In a Pearson's Magazine excerpt a plumber notes beauty favors women due to lesser education though warns that rising equality may erode beauty. The editor counters that the claim is a lie not a joke then rejects a subsequent exaggerated tale about a plumber.
The Great Southern Cross, a nine-pearl cross shaped necklace found in Western Australia in 1884 by Clarke, was buried for superstitious reasons before being unearthed and sold for 1000 dollars. It has since changed hands and now valued at 50000 dollars, drawing attention at the Colonial and Indian Exhibition in England as perhaps the only natural cross ever found.
Report claims pigs tame cannibals by offering roast pork and reducing man flesh. Note remarks on cures and medicines sold locally, with a dubious medical claim and promotional tone.
A quotation from Harper's Bazar notes a husband observing changes after his wife joined the church. She now asks him to wait an hour instead of a minute, reflecting a shift in domestic habits following conversion.
A humorous jab from the Detroit Free Press on a new bookkeeper, noting he responds to two words with 200, highlighting a quick, sharp personality.
A Massachusetts woman scolded her canary in anger after a delay to dinner. The bird fluttered and died within minutes, illustrating a moral about abusive tone. Mrs. Hendricks, wife of a former vice president, claimed a similar incident with a mockingbird.
A description of the Mamertine prison in Rome with its ancient lore and associations with Peter Paul and Jugurtha. Then a Chinese court scene where three men contend for a wife, the judge’s ruse with wine and brown sugar reveals the sham death and settles the dispute.
In an English romance scene Mrs Bateson and Mrs Hankey mock husbands for mixing faith with appetite. They joke that Bateson, a devout Methodist, frets over election while pork and soda settle troubles, and he prays long when a simple remedy exists.
A Pathfinder quote rails against joke books that instruct newsroom gag lines. It notes how newspapers reuse formula humor about public figures and beauty experts to draw laughs and attract reprints and credit.
Danish police detain a drunken man in the street and drive him to the station for sobering. After recovery, he is sent home. Cabman doctor and agents claim fees, billed to the bar that last served him, provoking landlord protests over alleged sham intoxication.
The exchange features an angry husband urging divorce and claiming to find another wife, while the wife retorts that a man is equally bad as another. The dialogue mirrors a blunt view on marriage from a Chicago News perspective.
The Indianapolis Journal quotes Miss Flavilla explaining a sense of humor is not just the ability to see a joke but to take a joke. A professor thanks humor for keeping him grateful.
A candid informant accuses a political boss of overreach while Senator Sorghum exclaims Great Scott. The exchange compares the boss to Julius Caesar, reflecting sharp modern irreverence in Washington Star commentary.
Sailors call a low lying iceberg a growler and the word would imply coolness to most, except among bulldogs and London four wheel cabs where the term also applies.
The weekly value of pawned articles in London runs near £300000, indicating strong demand for quick cash among residents. Pawnshops report steady turnover and steady customer flow, with jewelry and electronics making up a large share of items.
In Billville a colored baptism ends with the horse mule overturning a buggy in a creek. The drenched elder clings to a log while the preacher offers a second baptism. The reply: I ain’t gwine in dat water no mo.
In the East India Marine hall at Wood Carving Salem Massachusetts the Essex Institute and East India Marine Society display extensive scientific cabinets and curiosities from distant lands. A notable piece shows two hemispheres 1 1 2 inches wide with carved heaven and hell on each, featuring 110 full length figures, attributed to a 14th century Indian monk.
A dying man leaves divisions of his estate to four sons: John one third, Alex one fifth, James one half, and Thomas one fourth. The sons begin calculations while Alex quietly leaves to fetch a lawyer to contest the will. The Baltimore American notes the moral that lawyers may believe the heirs’ clever figuring.
The passage recalls an idle Irish boy aboard a man of war who taunts the boatswain with witty defiance. When challenged to come down he quips that he would not come even for two dozen whacks with a rope.
A whimsical exchange between a flying fish and a whale contrasts lifespans under water and on the surface. The Chicago Tribune presents the lesson that those who dwell in water should not brag or pretend to be something they are not.
In a remark from the Indianapolis Press a fat man warns that absentmindedness hurts business. A lean man recalls losing a top customer after misaddressing a letter to John Henry Lloyd, illustrating the cost of careless mistakes.
Greatly reduced one way settlers rates to points in the northwest will be in effect via the Iowa Central during February, March and April 1901. For full particulars call on Iowa Central ticket agents or address Geo. 8. Batty G. P. & T. A. Marshalltown Ia. 41-f.
Advertisement notes good bargains in winter underwear at The New Clothing Store run by L. O. Keepren on Ave ss.
The Des Moines Daily News enlarges to 8 pages and carries full AP telegraphic service while keeping a yearly subscription of $1.00. Other rates: 75 cents for 6 months and 50 cents for 3 months. Circulation exceeds 29,000 with address listed as The News, Des Moines, Iowa.
Public notice announces a special meeting of Illinois Central Railroad Company stockholders in Chicago on Saturday January 26 1901 at 11 00 a m Free travel tickets will be issued to registered stockholders for the journey to Chicago and return only on the meeting days four days before and after the meeting Tickets must be applied for in writing to the President and tickets valid 9 00 a m to 5 00 pm in W G Braen office Chicago Transfer Books close 3 00 pm December 20 1900 remains closed until January 1 1903
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