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Newspaper
Alpine Avalanche
Location
Alpine, Texas, United States of America
Date
Mar 03, 1933
Page
3
A collage of comic vignettes and gags fills a newspaper page, including a shopkeeper and customer exchange about blinds and reception, a bristling exchange about retirement, a spelling exam joke, a derby request, and farcical family banter. The piece also features jokes about mothers faults, a professor’s classroom antics, and ethnic humor framed as column humor.
Motorists in the Texas Panhandle face a growing traffic menace as tumbleweeds drift onto highways. Wind-driven piles reach several feet high in fields and along roads, hampering harvests and land prep. State crews report drifts up to ten feet high, with certain routes locked by the weed masses.
A garbled column mixed with odd dialogue recounts a man recalling a perilous detour to dodge weeds and thistles fueling fear and heat. It discusses tomatoes, potatoes, and a beef ragout recipe amid scattered notes about Native foods and vitamin content.
Wellington Lender notes that many miles of wire fences are damaged each winter and spring as tumbleweeds pile up in triage drifts. The drifts carry wind, loosening posts and flattening fences in numerous spots.
Memphis area report recalls the legendary Casey Jones tale as veteran engineer Dad Norton retires after 32 years with the railroad. He began after Casey’s famed last run, guiding No. 1 toward Canton, recalling the line’s historic cannons and dawn whistles.
Fragmentary OCR notes recall Jesse Baker as a baseball hero from a century ago with an invalid mother who attended games. The text also includes stray ad lines for knives and tools from Alpine Co and a department store or supplier, with garbled references to lodging and lines of genuine cases and post knives.
The piece extols canned spinach as a year round staple urging shoppers to stock for winter. It notes spinach balances starchy foods like potatoes and pasta, enhances meals with its green color, and pairs with eggs, cheese, and ravioli fillings as chefs value its versatility.
Lloyd Earwood drove down a road eighteen miles south of Sonora to chase and kill a full grown female wolf after a two to three mile pursuit. The animal was fat and well fed, suggesting plentiful prey. The carcass was brought to Sonora for viewing, marking the first local wolf or coyote catch in some time per Sonora News.
Mis F H Scott of Roanoke VA describes severe back pain weakness and pale appearance. After three bottles of Cardui she gained weight regained color and lasting relief, crediting the purely vegetable medicine's effects. Local drugs sell Cardui.
The University of Texas built a memorial fountain costing 250000 funded by Major George Littlefield. The centerpiece features a ship prow with seahorses and soldiers. No state appropriation exists for its operation and meanwhile there is no water to run the fountain.
Fragmentary medical column discusses Calotabs calomel tablets as a cold remedy. It suggests taking one or two tablets with milk or water and claims the cold improves quickly with cleansing effects. Mentions purification and feeling better afterwards in a dated tone.
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