02 Jun 1910
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 41 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Akron Register Tribune
Location
Akron, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jun 02, 1910
Page
1
A collection of humorous snippets from The Register-Tribune weaving mischief, opinions, and odds and ends. Topics include divorce quibbles, manners of punishment, unusual opinions on cucumbers and get rich schemes, along with pithy quips about census, oculists, and a judge’s remark on domestic disputes.
A New England woman detective is to marry a millionaire. Perhaps he thinks in view of attacks on wealth now the fashion that a detective will come handy in the family.
The article notes that girls in domestic science at Kansas Agricultural College must create a full outfit from undergarments to a silk dress to earn a degree. It contrasts with grandmothers who sewed without diplomas, and asserts dressmaking remains a useful and fascinating skill for young women whether learned at home or in school.
A great city gas company reports 132 families moved into and out of a single tenement over 32 months. In the same period one apartment housed 25 different families, illustrating how "three removes" could be worse than a fire in terms of disruption.
The piece recalls Artemus Ward on jokes and wit, then cites Anthony J. Drexel lamenting a 1.75 breakfast in a New York splurge hotel. It argues high costs reflect how cold storage and supplier pricing affect common people, noting rich don’t curb living costs by virtue or demanding value.
The article notes rapid growth and optimism in Canada’s population and settlement patterns. It cites census projections, population jumps in Manitoba Alberta and Saskatchewan since 1901, a surge in U S immigration in 1909, and the wealth impact of newcomers estimated at 90 million. It highlights wheat prosperity and rising farm settlement as key drivers.
Distinguishing London physician Dr Alexander Bryce argues office workers gain no real health benefit from post work exercise. He says daily head work induces fatigue and fog, that young people have had outdoor activity before office life, and that after hours should be reserved for weekends and holidays. He urges avoiding mixing work and exercise and recommends traveling home by train or tram and exercising only after a full rest of at least forty eight hours.
The eminent traveler comments on Polygiot Dialect in a Cleveland Plain Dealer piece. He says the stories read like a mix of Chinese, Cingalese, Bengalese, Javanese, Maltese and slangese, and that aside from this they are pretty fair.
A Philadelphia Record item cites a business man stating the missing cashier was not tall he cannot recall his height yet notes the man was $25,000 short. The report frames the mystery through quotes about the suspect and emphasizes the financial discrepancy rather than exact measurements.
Diogenes returns from a search for an honest man. Asked if he gave up the chase he says it is a matter of necessity. He explains someone stole his lantern, prompting the philosophical quip.
A fragment from the Louisville Courier-Journal presents a sharp quip about marriage. One speaker jokes that wives could threaten divorce, prompting the other to urge cheer in a light, humorous tone.
The New York Herald urges readers to stop heckling for forty eight hours to measure how much brighter the world appears. It suggests that sharing one’s experience could be done at half the cost and invites quiet reflection.
A collage of jokes and quips from multiple papers including Boston Courier, Birmingham Age Herald, Washington Star, Chicago Tribune, Philadelphia Record, Cleveland Leader, Chicago Post, Springfield Union, and more. It lampoons politics, poetry, marriage, and manners with puns about suffrage, dogs, lamps, and readers. The humor centers on wordplay, social foibles, and light satire.
Harting resigns as Arthur mayor after five years following a dispute with a merchant over hitching posts. Street Commissioner George Schoop also resigns. Council to act at next monthly meeting on the first Monday in June.
The past year Cerro Gordo county produced 11 494 479 bushels of grain including corn oats wheat barley and rye. Despite the large total the per acre averages were modest with corn 39 bushels per acre oats 22 bushels per acre winter wheat 14 bushels per acre spring wheat 20 bushels per acre barley 20 bushels per acre and rye 12 bushels per acre.
Archbishop Keane led imposing ceremonies as the cornerstone of a $600,000 Holy Trinity Catholic church was laid in Dubuque. A procession a half mile long, with all Dubuque Catholic societies represented, marched to the site.
Waterloo Chamber of Commerce pushes for a major fireproof hotel in West Waterloo. A $25,000 bonus is being raised by popular subscription and will be awarded to the proposer offering the best plan for the new hotel.
Delaware county resident John Hempstead recalls Halley’s Comet sighting on April 14, 1835 from Ripley home. He is 89 and lives northeast of Manchester, noting a clear view of the wanderer.
Boone plans six tungsten light clusters along main streets to advertise the city. The Commercial association promotes street lighting as a drawing card, noting smaller towns are pursuing similar ideas to attract attention.
The Marshall Oil company of Marshalltown expands across five states and will open a branch in St Louis with plans for branches in Chicago St Paul and Kansas City within 90 days.
Ida County resident for 42 years, J. D. Havens, died from apoplexy. He would have been 8 on June 6. Survived by two children, J. M. Havens of Sioux City and Mrs. Charles Hitchcock of Sheridan, Wyoming.
Mrs Henry Fairkire of Thornton welcomed healthy triplets. One boy weighed 8 pounds and two girls weighed 8 and 7 pounds respectively. All three are described as strong and promising to grow well.
Western Passenger association announces a fare and a half from all Iowa points to Des Moines for the thirty sixth annual encampment of the G A R in June.
Herbert Higbee of Dubuque, after three years as chief clerk in the internal revenue office for the northern Iowa district, is transferred to Marshalltown to become government gauger.
W. W. Skentfield of near Oskaloosa, grieving widow loss and ill health, killed himself. He leaves five minor children.
Rev. Dr. J. B. Little longtime pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Davenport for over a decade and later at Shenandoah died in Indianapolis Indiana last Friday morning.
The Court of Appeals will rule on Modern Woodmen of America versus 22 bondsmen of E H McCutchen. Verdict had favored bondsmen in Sioux City federal court. McCutchen, Holstein banker, managed $100000 for the insurer before his sudden death, and the bank later lacked funds. The insurer seeks to recover losses from the bondsmen who deny liability claiming they were misinformed about the number of bondsmen. The appeal decision is expected Tuesday.
Two mastodon tusks were found about twenty feet deep in a Great Northern sandpit at Doon on May 15 and May 16, about 1000 feet apart. The larger tusk is 7 feet 1 inch long and 9 inches wide at the end. The tusks were well preserved despite being broken by the steam shovel, and one tusk is on display at Henry Kahl store.
Gypsy bands encamped near Fort Dodge feared the end of the world and moved west Thursday night. Sunday night they stopped at the Benjamin Blanck farm where a young bride stood alone and stole eggs, potatoes, chickens, and other eatables. Women plucked flowers for adornment. The party continued, seizing corn from a farmer. Mrs. Blunck warned neighbors, who confronted the Gypsies with firearms and faced no trouble.
Mary Cutcheon a Des Moines working woman was taken into custody Thursday morning after expressing delusions about Halley's comet She tore her clothes and attempted suicide before officers rescued her The insanity commission will investigate the case.
The new 1,000,000 bridge of the Iowa Central railway over the Mississippi at Keithsburg Illinois was opened for traffic on Friday. Passenger train No 3 from Peoria to Mason City was the first to cross. No special ceremony marked the opening.
Thought a comet struck Wa verly as a gas range exploded at the Fortner house at 5 o'clock Thursday morning. The blast shattered kitchen windows and sent guests fleeing in fright as the tremor of terror lingered until investigators confirmed the cause.
Dr Arnold Jolly of Hamburg waives preliminary examination on murder charges in the Noblitt case. Unable to post 6900 dollars bond, he remains confined in the county jail at Sidney awaiting circuit court action.
John Reed of Clinton pleaded guilty to murder in the second degree for the killing of A. W. Landgren of Clinton. The plea came on Monday in the court proceedings.
Blood poisoning from paring a corn too closely caused infection that forced the amputation of the right leg at the knee of Henry Sprod of Tritt. The case highlights risks of improper minor surgery.
Miss Rose Lundie of Mason City was knocked down and left dangerously hurt when John Nelevanon attacked her in a jealous rage after she jilted him. The incident underscores a violent confrontation tied to a broken romance.
The piece profiles Miss Nannette Daisy, a pioneer Oklahoma homesteader who claimed land in 1889 by jumping from a train cowcatcher at Waterloo along the Santa Fe line. It recounts her later life, marriage to a Fort Reno soldier, and death in Chicago, noting many women homesteaders in Beaver County and the prominence of women land commissioners and farmers.
An Orange New Jersey correspondent recounts Mrs. Turrell describing the March 9 shooting at the Omar Mosque in Jerusalem. A shooter fired blanks, possibly harming no one, while women observed the scene and debated sacred place access and safety.
A discussion on census tabulation advances, comparing hand and automatic machines. It notes multiple counters, cross tabulation, and efficiency gains, including printing results at once to reduce errors and clerical labor.
In a theater office a familiar actor inspects a display of his photos as a secretary notes each picture costs 20 cents. A young woman asks for a free copy. the press agent quips that none are freebies, and that the actor’s photos belong to Mr Cash. The woman exits with a laugh.
A lighthearted exchange shows Mrs. Bronson and Mrs. Woodson Lee debating plain speech about a spouse and lawn mower. The dialogue reflects gentle humor on perceptions of men and boys as they react to authority figures, flags, and bands.
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