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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 29, 1913
Page
3
Farmer Smith jokes about a liver medicine ad in the paper and wonders how slugs could get into the liver as Mrs. Smith recalls liver troubles in her family. They discuss aging ailments and a long history of liver issues in the town.
George F. Baker recalls Pierpont Morgan as deliberate in action. He quotes Morgan advising to pause for reflection after ensuring one is right, a principle Morgan reportedly always followed.
Numerous farm properties listed for sale across states and provinces from California to Canada. Entries include 60 acre to 3,000 acre parcels with houses, barns, outbuildings, and water rights. Listings specify cultivated land, stock, machinery, and prices or trade options.
Pearl Trampton waits for the mail as Harry Jungles arrives in a motorized wheelbarrow. He asks to marry her and shocks the town, then reveals the joke about an automobile purchase. Pearl’s tears end when he explains a delayed car delivery, sparking a quirky courtship in Three Pines.
Wombat the millionaire shows respect for a distant slot machine, often pointing it out to people. The joke hinges on a nickel he once inserted that failed to work, giving him the only time he ever got the worst of a financial transaction.
Lawrence Kansas and Burns Montana letters praise the remedy for female ailments. Mrs M Zeuner of Lawrence says it relieved years of pain irregularity headaches and bloating after a year of suffering. Mrs John Francis of Burns reports backache weakness and eye headaches vanished. The makers cite thousands of such testimonials.
A wife presents her husband with slippers she made herself. He is astonished and praises her as a genius of a wife. She explains she bought the uppers and had Mary sew them, then she finished them and added bows, calling herself practical.
Rancher Joseph Harrison awoke to care for newborn twins at 4 a.m. He tripped in the barn and found a newborn calf. By sunrise his brood daughter produced six pigs, a setting hen hatched eleven chicks, and a pigeon two squabs. He plans to shoot the family cat.
A historic plea highlights flies as carriers of disease including typhoid and infantile paralysis. Since last spring, experts warn the buzzing pests spread illness and urge decisive action to eliminate them early, stressing flies as an inexcusable threat.
Wilbur Wright tells a Dayton reporter the swift monoplane is dangerous while Blank adores it. The reporter notes Blank is deeply attached and Wright predicts further harm as the machine remains unstable.
A critic argues physicians profit when patients remain anxious about their health, suggesting fear drives repeated visits and ongoing treatment.
A reader shares how Grape-Nuts relieved years of digestive distress. After starting the cereal, the man reports weight gain of 30 pounds and improved daily function, noting relief from colic, vomiting, and headaches. The letter, attributed to a New Hampshire man, is from Postum Co. promotional material.
The study reviews Joseph using a staged accusation to test his brothers after Benjamin’s cup is found. It notes their fear, the earlier deceit, Judah’s plea, and a transformation seen in their willingness to protect Benjamin, signaling grace at work in their hearts.
In a humorous exchange Mr Pozozzle contrasts a smart man with a smart alec and recalls a daily constitutional with his wife who jokes about gaining fifteen pounds. He ponders currency versus weight and notes his attempts to calculate the amount in their money.
The item claims oil as a cleaner safer and cheaper fuel for cook-stoves. It notes over five hundred thousand New Perfection Oil Cook-Stoves in use across the middle west with widespread satisfaction.
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