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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 15, 1919
Page
3
A collage of quips and stories spans four types of people and small vignettes. Notes on habits, a dove note joke, ancient promises, and a Los Angeles police exchange reflect humor and social snapshots of the era.
Miss Ham tries to address the pigs who demand food and ignore words. The pigs mock and insist on eating, while Miss Ham laments the lack of time for her speech as the farmer nears dinner. The scene ends with her vow to reveal a great speech someday.
Miss Myrtle Johnson of Muncele Indiana reports six months of ner vous dyspepsia and nerve strain relieved after Pepgen. She says her appetite returned, sleep improved, strength rose, and she gained five pounds after starting Pepgen, which she bought at local drug stores.
A thinking man asks if souls suffer in a Hades of fire. The chronic thinker replies that he does not, but sees belief as advisable. The exchange presents a pragmatic view on eternal punishment.
An advertisement urges readers to use Orhine double strength to remove freckles and improve complexion. It promises quick results with nightly applications and notes most users require less than one ounce, offering money back guarantee.
A Louisville Courier-Journal dialogue quotes a couple debating travel costs and choosing Europe for next summer while joking about a hypothetical Hornet Crossroads trip. The exchange underscores lighthearted travel talk and domestic jokes.
An advertisement touts Boschee's Syrup as quieting coughs soothing throat and lung inflammation and aiding sleep. Claims it is a fifty two year American made remedy aiding general health and suitable for lung trouble asthma and bronchitis. Includes a quip about China and ducks.
This ad recommends using Cuticura Ointment for pimples redness roughness or itching then bathing with Cuticura Soap and hot water. Rinse dry gently and dust Cuticura Talcum for fragrance. Advertises 25 cents each.
A terse line notes that certain men, much like wells, are driven toward alcohol. It presents a fatalistic view without detailing individuals, events, or contexts.
A witty exchange unfolds as a waiter reports the head cook has died, prompting a blackened steak quip. The brief gag centers on the kitchen’s sudden loss and the chef’s mark on the meal.
The passage links head pain, fatigue, digestive issues, and poor health to auto intoxication from neglect. It urges cleansing the body and using a vegetable laxative, specifically Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, made of mayapple and aloes, to treat self-poisoning.
The notice promotes a big book of New York views including prominent skyscrapers Broadway Fifth Avenue and Wall Street priced at 50 cents with ten postcard views for 60 cents. Order from Harry Nicholas at 4736 Grand Central Terminal New York.
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