Very Sharp. Teacher Now Johnny joke on hollow ground
A dialogue where a teacher asks about an empty earth inside and Johnny answers a razor because it would be hollow ground. The exchange illustrates a wordplay pun about hollow ground.
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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jun 26, 1908
Page
7
A dialogue where a teacher asks about an empty earth inside and Johnny answers a razor because it would be hollow ground. The exchange illustrates a wordplay pun about hollow ground.
The article recounts punishments for forgery from Tudor times to the 19th century. It notes Thomas Maynard’s 1829 execution, the 1832 shift to transportation with later exceptions for wills, and 1837 removals of that exception. It also describes the Tudor pillory, ear cutting, nose slitting, branding, and lifelong imprisonment for forgers, with all possessions forfeited to the crown.
Dudley cites McBluff saying he entered the automobile business and Wise notes no sales yet. The Catholic Standard and Times quotes the exchange casting doubt on the claim that machines have never broken down on the road.
Pettit X Eye Salve for 25 cents relieves tired eyes and eases congestion soreness and inflammation. Sold by all druggists of Howard Bros Buffalo New York.
In a brief Denver News Times item a first boy announces summer study in French while the second boy boasts fluency in English and baseball, illustrating a playful language quip from a local youth scene.
A brief ad notes a 2607 package of Red Cross Ball Blue laundry bluing priced at five cents. The rest of the fragment contrasts religious sentiment with worldly priorities, mentioning singers who talk about heaven yet seek earthly rewards.
A caterer notes guests who are lifelong friends eat more than strangers and adds 20 percent to the bill. He argues familiarity makes guests comfortable and hungrier, while strangers stay nervous and eat less. The exchange highlights a common dining dynamic observed by the New Orleans Times-Democrat.
The exchange notes that Germany records the most duels with Jena and Gottingen leading. Gottingen reportedly hosts a duel daily, with a peak of twenty four hours producing twelve combats. Jena records up to twenty one in a day and Germany totals about 1,000 such combats. Italy averages 270 yearly with ten years accounting for 2,759 meetings, mainly sword duels and only one revolver.
A letter-style endorsement extols Grape-Nuts as a perfectly balanced food supporting brain and nerve health across life stages. The author, an older woman, says two years of use with milk and a little cream keeps her comfortably nourished at noon, improves memory, and inspires her family to adopt the product. A traveling son and an aunt over 70 also benefit.
A confrontation over marriage pits Kenneth and his love against a domineering mother. They gamble on fate with two red morocco volumes, each read as Yes or No. The plan backfires, revealing enduring conflict and a grim, unintended outcome.
Mme d Arblay, famed eighteenth century author Miss Fanny Burney, held a strong aversion to washing and water. Dr Sir Henry Holland, her physician in the final year, records she had not washed for fifteen years.
Mrs Zana Milter of Union City Michigan recalls her three month old son afflicted with Cuban Itch. She used Cuticura Soap and Ointment, the sores dried, and within two weeks her child recovered fully. She praises the treatment as life saving and cost only 75 cents.
The region Japan controls expands from 189000 to 283000 square miles and its population rises by 10000000 following the war with Russia. Mrs Pinkham of the Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co sails from Lynn Massachusetts with her son Arthur for Naples on May 20 for a three months European tour and vacation.
A brief quote contrasts pride in a man’s family with a lack of reciprocation. The line underscores tension between personal identity and familial support as depicted in the Pick Me Up publication.
In a humorous reflection F P Dunne recalls funerals as social events that draw neighbors, invite humor, and offer a sense of communal notice. He remembers children dressing in best clothes and gathering to share in the loss of a parent, turning death into a social occasion.
Queen Victoria of Spain hosts a curious ceremony known as cushion taking in Madrid. Previously done by the queen alone, King Alfonso now attends. Debutantes present cushions, bow, and sit at the throne as the queen chats in Spanish, while others stand waiting. The note ends with a remark on looking for heroes mainly in a looking glass.
After seven years of female troubles Mrs Sallie French of Panca Ind Ter writes of regained health after using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. She details prior doctor visits, improvement after the remedy, and invites others to write for free advice from Mrs Pinkham in Lynn Mass.
A German chemist's analysis shows river eel is the driest fish with about 60 percent water. Salmon follows at 61.4 percent water, while lobsters and oysters are about four fifths water.
Miss Woodby asserts the joke is original, challenging doubt. Mr. Chesterfield counters gently, calling it imprudent to claim novelty, while the Philadelphia Press notes the exchange as a witty, urbane moment.
Matthias Campbell, Civil War and two Indian wars veteran, aged Blair Nebraska, reports severe back pain and urinary issues. He and his wife used Dean's Kidney Pills, diagnosed as advanced kidney trouble, and both were cured. Sold by dealers for 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
Mr. Harker dreams of owning a genuine Vandyck while Mrs. Harker questions if it is merely a painting. Published in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
A Pittsburg Post humorous quote contrasts parental jokes about Johnny’s future skills with sewing and cooking. The clippings also note ads for Red Cross Ball Blue laundry product and an economy lure from Larchmont Farm, Inc. in West Camp. Wellington New Zealand is described as windy and fashionable hat protection becomes a local joke.
Fragmentary ad copy mentions Mrs Winslow's Seething Syrup for children teeth and claims to soften inflammation. The text includes unrelated phrases about pity and God and ends with a stray bottle reference, offering little coherent news content.
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