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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jul 11, 1912
Page
2
Real estate list offering hundreds of farms and ranches for sale or trade in many states including Montana Colorado Nebraska Illinois Michigan Oklahoma Kansas North Dakota Wisconsin and Minnesota. Properties feature tillable acreage barns orchards stock machinery and various improvements offered by multiple agents and box numbers.
A medical specialist advises a gradual strength plan from ten to fifty pounds but the patient resists, claiming misunderstanding. The scene shifts to a comic exchange about baseball divisions and a brazenly "baseball mind" remark amid a brisk, wry dialogue.
A humorous exchange features Willie and Eddie defining vegetarian and octogenarian with a pun. Eddie answers octogenarian as someone who knocks genarians, followed by a blunt compliment about the speaker’s stage ambitions and a square meal without wood pile mention.
A visionary man laments fate denying him leadership of the wandering masses. Miss Cayenne replies with a practical joke that he could “black up and get a job as porter” at a grand railway station, turning lofty dreams into a sharp social punchline.
A humorous exchange notes Charlie’s loyalty as he wears old clothes in sympathy with London tailors striking. The dialogue contrasts casual mischief with a nod to labor tensions and newspaper reporting.
Miss Cillman remarks it is pleasant to live in the country. Mr. Rurale replies he avoids tramps unless they approach his home. The exchange showcases rural modesty and neighbors’ cautious attitudes.
A compact aphorism notes that a man with a busy life stays rarely blue, suggesting activity as a remedy for melancholy. The line contrasts effort with mood, implying that purposeful engagement preserves spirit.
A suit against a defendant was dismissed by a demurrer. Later, the same lawyer, now in Congress, received a letter from the former client requesting another demurrer, illustrating the ongoing use of demurrers in litigation.
Pastor Goodsole urges patience as he mocks coughs during a sermon. He says if coughing continues at the end, he will consider starting a mission collection, remarking on the congregation’s behavior as a sign of interest.
In a heated exchange, Indignant Housewife accuses Ruffen Wratz of laziness while Wratz brags of a historic September day. He claims he “swatted a fly” and killed a billion, asserting he did the day’s work that impressed observers.
A dialogue contrasts views on dating and impressions with the speaker evaluating a young man who claims she was his first kiss. The exchange weighs character judgments, mentioning the Ananias club and a molly coddle as possible labels.
A quip filled column recalls a man who hugged his girl so tightly he broke several ribs and a joke about breaking expensive cigars. The tone mixes cautionary tales with playful malapropisms.
A light hearted Tit-Bita exchange has a husband noting marriage offers fortune, while the wife retorts that she got him and he gained only her. The brief quip plays on reciprocal fortune in a marriage.
A city hunter dressed in corduroy and gear with a country boy guide stalks a rabbit. The rabbit suddenly appears and dies beside the log, prompting the boy to remark that the creature likely laughed itself to death.
In a wary exchange Bunco Bill and Rube Ryestraw discuss selling a gold brick to Mr Slick Slavin. The dialogue centers on preserving a preferred trade and avoiding any change in arrangements.
A concise reflection on a silk handkerchief admired for its texture and tint but often seen as an accessory after the fact rather than a notable item. The verse implies social commentary on appearance and utility.
A man who set himself ablaze with a cigar on the troal ley car was removed from the vehicle without severe punishment. The conductor intervened, extinguishing the fire, citing that smoking was prohibited on the car and the incident was governed by stated rules.
A Sarenam of Sport describes Mr Crosslets spotting early morning golf practice. He jokes that the turf flies in a way that suggests not just practice but a possible garden scene. The exchange captures a playful tone about readiness for an upcoming match.
A physician argues hundreds of appendectomies were performed needlessly. He claims financial motives behind many surgeries, while others defend the medical necessity of the procedures.
Brown begins seed planting in his garden well ahead of schedule. He explains the aim is to finish before his neighbor’s hens begin laying, reflecting his plan to work during quiet neighborhood activity.
A humorous exchange reveals a widow Mrs Hynson questions why Mrs Justwed married another indigestion sufferer after her first husband died of the same ailment. Mrs Justwed explains she inherited his medicine and did not want it wasted.
A brief verse satirically links tiny water and land drops to shaping an aviator and joining the heavenly band, hinting at the dream of flight through humble origins and poetic imagination.
Willie-Has Jack owes no shame to his line but Billie-I says his grandfather struck out four times in the world's series The Limit. Miss Pry is the most inquisitive sort of girl and has her finger in it though she lacks an engagement ring.
A playful exchange hints at a police roundup of abductors nicknamed bargain cradles, suggesting a local incident with suspects seized by authorities at a central station. The remarks imply a humorous or coded description rather than a formal charge list.
Millie Kasper and Ralph Waters, both shy, drift into love yet utter little when together. Their awkward silences during cribbage nights give way to a public moment of clarity after a theater outing when a stranger notes Millie’s handkerchief and Ralph declares their engagement.
A quirky dialogue notes half a loaf being better than none and suggests Garfield Tea before bed to cleanse the system. Uneasy talk about Mrs. Wombat leads to a joke about constant presence and a move into the old house.
An American helps a Frenchman with English but the pupil sends a letter full of errors. The letter promises to learn from the text book and dictionary and to come to America to give a lecture on the scaffold.
Dialogue fragment shows Mr Spat-Now and Mrs Spat clashing over speaking time during a discussion. Mrs Spat resists listening while Mr Spat asserts a claim to the remaining time. The exchange highlights a domestic dispute style argument over fairness and control of conversation.
The piece recalls Liverpool’s 1857 fountains and London’s 1859 Metropolitan Drinking Fountain Association led by Lord John Russell and Mrs. Gurney. It notes a shift from neglect of the public to modern, universal concern by public servants for citizens’ comfort across civilized nations.
A fragmented OCR text hints at a discussion or pledge query on waterway policies. The readable words suggest questions about actions or promises and a cad or pledge phrasing, but details and context are unclear from the fragment.
A physician praises Grape-Nuts for easing indigestion after switching from meat to the cereal for breakfast. He reports better digestion, weight gain, and use of Grape-Nuts in prescriptions for patients with indigestion or post disease recovery, noting the product's digestibility and nutrition. He declines to name himself for ethical reasons.
A lawyer questions a witness about testifying against a friend. The witness replies he loves his friend but loves Truth more. The lawyer chides him for turning on a friend for a stranger.
A 1911 testimonialtout describes relief from scalp eczema and hair loss after two months using Cuticura Soap and Ointment. C. D. Tharrington of Creek NC and Samuel Stern of Brooklyn NY recount long trials with doctors before success. Samples and a 32 page booklet offered by Cuticura Dept L Boston.
Chicago attorney Lambert Kaspers recounts a tale from a YMCA banquet about a Kansas farmer and a Dane seeking naturalization. The judge asks if the government suits him and the Dane replies yes, but adds he would like to see more rain.
A wealthy man visits a doctor who declares the patient has been living too high and violated nature's laws. The man asks for a technicality to avoid punishment, while the doctor insists on paying the penalty.
A playful dialogue features a guest asking about a newborn and the host replying with a pun that the baby’s arrival is a howling success. The exchange captures light, witty tones typical of social chatter.
The Paxton Tollet Co of Boston offers a free large trial box of Paxtine Antiseptic, a toilet preparation, to any woman upon request. The ad notes common male jealousy and ends with humorous quips about conversation and products like Red Cross Ball Blue and Garfield Tea Varurat Laxative.
A playful line referencing a family persona and a mock device titled Famous Freckle Era De Iator. The fragment hints at a humorous column or cartoon caption without providing clear news content.
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