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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 25, 1912
Page
2
Selections poke fun at modern heroines, inflation of beauty claims, and social quirks. Witty quips touch on coffee production in Brazil, Austrian archdukes, seven-cent girls, and fashion hypocrisy. A mix of satire covers crime, art theft, education, marriage costs, and curiosity about cultural norms.
A New York jury finds the defendant not liable in a breach of promise case brought by a woman described as a kissless girl. The verdict implies no marriage obligation arose from the alleged promise.
A London highbrow notes that a sudden shock can alter eye color to black blue or green depending on blow strength. In Los Angeles a high school girls' class teaches matrimony and the piece suggests future courting may revert to traditional methods despite scientific methods.
A Boston man writes to a New York paper denouncing football as dull and stupid suggesting the public should not tolerate such performances. He remarks he prefers croquet and finds ordinary football lacking excitement.
A backward look notes future rules banning teachers with flat feet in Gotham public schools. The piece argues flat-footedness has been seen as part of training, yet new policy would bar such defects. A Chicago streetcar death is briefly cited with a man offering a seat.
Nutritive hay content is broken into fresh forming and fuel substances. A balanced ration uses both types. excess fuel and insufficient flesh forming material wastes feed. Protein sustains body tissues, including muscles and skin, while carbohydrates and oils provide energy. Hay varieties vary in digestible protein and carbohydrate content affecting value for protein vs energy. Timothy hay shows low protein but decent carbohydrates. alfalfa, cowpea, and clover offer higher protein levels.
A new dog borne illness appears in Pittsburg linked to kissing poodles. Public alarm suggests human kissing is unsafe unless properly sanitized, as debates about infant kissing influence modern childrearing and social habits.
Farmers can protect and extend the life of buildings and machinery by painting, which also improves sanitation. The article highlights economic bulletin No. 474 from the Secretary of Agriculture, detailing cost, brushes, pigments, mixing, and safe practices, including avoiding lead paints near stables and handling of turpentine and benzine.
Use loose rich soil burned to kill old life before storing in a dry barrel. Burn wood over soil or on sheet iron, then keep in a dry place. Next spring seeds will sprout in weed free soil.
The automobile plow arrives with a cushion seat and steering gear. Under the machine blades fix to plow 72 acres per day, easing life for the farmer.
Forty years ago Congress endowed agricultural stations and experiment stations to aid farmers, and wonderful progress has been achieved since.
The article argues that a solid liberal education is a crucial investment for farmers, benefiting their children. It asserts that a thousand dollars plus education better prepares a young person for life than two thousand without learning, enabling them to compete and hold their own in the future.
The article notes spring brings higher horse prices as many men sell in autumn after use. Farmers with strong stock at spring fairs can reap benefits from favorable demand and pricing.
A note suggests young farmers with small capital might move east to buy a run down farm in Canada’s fertile border lands. It mentions acquiring land around minimal building and fencing costs and paying modest sums for raw land in that region.
A sermon on Luke 2 22 39 describes Mary and Joseph presenting Jesus in the temple forty days after birth, the redemption of the firstborn, and the lesson that children belong to God. Simeon’s faith and Jesus as light to all nations are emphasized, with calls to dedicate children and seek salvation in Christ.
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS Yourdat will refund money if PAZO OINTMENT fails to cure any case of itching bleeding or protruding piles in 60 to 90 days. In School. Spell prohibition. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate a sluggish liver and bowels. Sugar coated granules. Cole's Carboni salve stops pain from burns or cuts and heals quickly. Free sample offer. Speaking Airily joke about aviators and gasoline reservoirs.
An old advertisement claims Marine Eye Remedy relieves smarting and itching and calms an irritated eye. It describes aseptic tubes and sale by druggists, noting use in medical practice and a Chicago company. A Christmas tale follows with a curate offering himself to a wary sweetheart.
Avoid liquid bluing and junk bottles filled with weak solution. Do not buy water for bluing select RED CROSS BALL BLUE a B cent package yields twenty cents worth of liquid blue. It makes clothes whiter than snow and is sold at all good grocers.
A vintage quip from Brother Gaumpers as told in Puck highlights marital friction. He explains couples often agree separately but never synchronously, noting mutual readiness shifts ruin joint consent and worsen disputes the more they push to agree. The comic reflects timeless quarrels over harmony.
A diminutive mail courier argues with a larger man about government service after a collision near a train station. Lord Guilford recounts a bazaar episode where a young man repeatedly declines offers until finally buying a box of soap.
An Ohio businesswoman recounts years of stomach trouble and morphine use before adopting Grape Nuts twice daily for two years. She credits the cereal with restoring perfect health, improving digestion, energy, and mental alertness, and notes no medicines since then. The letter attributes results to Postum Company and cites The Road to Wellville.
Mrs. Leslie berates a lottery ticket as a foolish waste while her husband laments finances. Months later new furniture and a mansion-like parlor reveal the cost of vanity, and their daughter’s fiancé Dill Thorseh arrives with joy, the family realizing the lottery fortune dream altered their lives and led to an unexpected engagement.
Local readers pore over telegraph matter and old scrap books for items to cull. The exchange highlights the curious variety of newspaper offerings and the charm of archival materials.
A reader asks where the five chickens bought for a party are, noting they stored them in a teebox to keep them fresh overnight while a misdated note hints at tomorrow’s event. The message references Meggencorfer Blaetter.
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