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This newspaper page contains 27 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 08, 1914
Page
2
A jumble of jokes and observations spans fashion, crime, science, and society. Witty quips touch on royalty, Paris styles, police work, aging, and entertainment as a parade of light anecdotes and curiosities.
Purdue extension urges home orchard owners to use fall and winter for sanitation, dormant spraying, and tool maintenance. Begin by removing mummied fruits and cankered branches, then clean and oil spraying gear. Test lime sulfur solution with a hydrometer, schedule pruning and inventory for spring, and organize operations before Christmas.
Purdue expert urges farmers to use winter for record keeping and planning. Track profits by crop and farm operation, abandon unprofitable enterprises, maintain daily diaries, set future crop plans, adjust for seasonal changes, and repair equipment during cold spells to stay productive.
Professor James G Halpin of the University of Wisconsin College of Agriculture says market chickens should be divided into small flocks and fattened with a mix of four parts ground corn to one part wheat bran plus sour skim milk. He advises feeding only what they clean up in twenty minutes.
Guidance on feeding fowls emphasizes providing meat in some form for protein. Beef scraps are cited as a good source, containing about 50 to 60 percent protein, and should be well aired and clean before use.
A narrative features Miss Muffitt visiting a prison with the Band of Sisters for Befriending Burg lars. A well educated prisoner in a seaside hotel robbery case bows to her, prompting her to quiz his motives before noting the irony of his confinement.
A witty exchange mocks a young doctor named Emdee who boasted about race horse knowledge. The counterpoint claims he excels in post mortem rather than diagnosis, reflecting colorful journalism of the era.
A whimsical verse imagines a hen laying a corner-stone rather than a single egg. The playful image elevates a farmyard moment into a grand construction milestone.
A humorous exchange in the Judge where the editor questions a hero’s flawless auto while the author reveals the idea came from his friend Bragley describing his own car. The editor suggests a fantasy car would be instantly purchasable.
A prominent young man was accidentally killed while cranking his automobile. The incident is a sad blow to his family as news of the death spreads publicly.
A reader dialogue shows a woman describing her ailment as plaibage and mentions a doctor’s suggestion of an epidemic interjection, using a rural dialect and affectionate terms for honey and vas honey.
In Boston a large crowd at a dry goods shop overwhelms the scene as the store touts a sale. The proprietor boasts selling Homer's Jad in the original Greek for 28 cents amid the rush.
A brief dialogue turns on an uncle’s will with a simple exchange about debts. One asks for the provisions, another notes the clause: the speaker receives all after payment of the just debt, the other answers with a humorous repetition of the phrase just debt.
A visitor at the seaside and a resident friend exchange a playful invitation about dressing for dinner. The visitor agrees to dine, while the friend emphasizes they are plain and simple. The exchange captures a light social moment from Punch in London.
A fragment notes two paths men take to cope with regret. Some drink deeply to drown sorrow while others light a cigarette as a quieter relief in a somber moment.
Farmer Corntessel recalls a notorious neighbor in the west where cyclones blow. A windstorm sent his house and family to the neighbor's land, but the man sought legal action for trespass instead of aiding them.
A country pastor visits a secluded southern Maine parish where the elderly sexton jokes about a duck sitting on fourteen eggs in the pulpit. The tale, from Harper's Magazine, mixes humor with church life in a remote setting.
In a witty Puck exchange from the Thirties the Envious Contemporary teases Miss Budding about her engagement to Mr. Timid Smithkins and suggests the ring inscription Eureka as a simple, tender touch in contrast to her romance.
The editor seeks portraits of King Solomon and his wives for a feature. The writer notes illustrations accompany a proposed article on Solomon’s reign and biblical equity. The project aims to pair historical text with visual portraits to enrich the piece.
Boston infant Jarred's cries keep household awake as a nurse's misguided methods clash with routine care. Ane Crashly remarks Bacon may have authored Shakespeare, hinting at literary debate amid the domestic scene.
A humorous bridge anecdote recalls Wombat feeding the ace of hearts. While one player reviewed his hand the partner was kissed. The response was a playful Y followed suit, leading to a lighthearted moment.
Mrs. Gibson sighs over a dress plan then declares she will consult the police after another talk with the dressmaker. Judge remarks on the ongoing discussion and nearing decision.
A household dispute in a Punch cartoon caption centers on a baby asking for his own way. The mother replies. the father jokes about granting the whim, highlighting domestic humor and confusion.
A humorous comparison contrasts old time genteel female education with modern schooling where a young woman learns to mix cocktails and tell smoking-room tales. The quip highlights shifting social expectations and etiquette across generations.
A wry note reflects on selective humor during social gatherings where clever remarks amuse some while others dislike getting teased. The writing contrasts refined conversation with biting jokes that target individuals.
A youthful boarder quips for milk saying Chase the cow down this way. The landlady retorts take the cow to the calf where it is bawling. The exchange captures sly humor at a domestic table.
A Chicago journalist recounts visiting Western Canada and interviewing a Iowa-born farmer who moved his family and 160 acres to 3,000 acres. The farmer explains land paid for itself within three years, working from a sod shack to a thriving, debt-free farm with modern outbuildings, cattle, and grain. He contrasts Iowa costs with Canadian land value, declaring he is now a large landed proprietor and would not return. The piece frames emigration as proven by one man's rise from poverty to prosperity through persistence and land for future generations.
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