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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 01, 1914
Page
2
A collage of whimsical musings on weather taxes eggs and fashion notes highlight social quirks of the era. The column jokes about tango bans, egg storage, policing women on the force, misdirected mail, and brass production while lampooning public debates and everyday life.
A French woman states that American girls are not good wives sweethearts or mothers. Yet for looks you must hand our girls the big bouquet and praise.
One of the nation's most renowned bareback riders and tumblers has died at age eighty six. The obituary highlights his longevity and notes a peculiar longevity recipe he shared.
London reports a new glass invention designed to defy suffragette protest by enabling residents to live in glass houses and throw stones. The quirky concept envisions popularity among those seeking transparent living and practice of bold criticism.
The passage notes nations broadly favor disarmament for world peace yet each modestly delays to let others lead, implying a mutual hesitation in taking the first concrete step.
The piece promotes fox farming as a chance to earn a fortune for those not rich from other ventures like hare rearing or gin seng. It adds humorous snippets about quirky characters and absurd ideas such as blaming a goat for disease and cheering long service in a Philadelphia household.
Philadelphia records highlight a woman who served as a housekeeper in one home for sixty three years while jokes circulate about the labor of keeping a house and maid service.
An early 1910s Wisconsin report explains hog cholera forms, symptoms, and how serum acts as a preventive. It details four vaccination methods subcutaneous quick and slow, abdominal, and intravenous with dosage guidance, preparation, and safety to avoid infection. It notes serum is not a cure and outlines post vaccination care and sanitation to prevent spread.
A nervous conductor in a church takes up the collection for the first time. Children and pew occupants contribute pennies while a gloomy man in the third pew refuses. The conductor signals to quit with a playful jab, saying the man will have to get off.
In a light exchange, a genial station official jokes about improvements while a traveler notes the line has elements always in the public eye. The traveler quips that what stands out are "cinders" in a playful end to the chat.
Non expert exchange about the meaning of fearsome in a playful golf game. Peter questions the term while Jimmy offers a cautious reply on players' styles.
In a fragmentary exchange from Puck a question about gout prompts a tale of an heirloom once introduced by Sir Roland Highliver. The family, famed for centuries, has been so poor for about 200 years they could not maintain it.
A physician replies to a patient weary of repeated reminders about payment and laments that the grandfather was an early settler. The patient retorts that the grandfather’s endurance should be inherited, prompting a wry exchange about punctual settlement.
A Lima Ohio man shot off fireworks in a vulgar display of affection when his wife left on vacation. The judge noted the ostentatious nature of the act and the way it reflected his feelings.
A dramatic domestic scene unfolds as Mrs Woteleigh arrives home at eleven asking about the children and the Wet Husband retorts that she should stay home and mind her heirs in a witty exchange reflecting household tensions.
A witty exchange contrasts Solomon’s wisdom with his famed wives. The man dismisses the notion of downgrading wisdom to a biblical source, while the woman sharpens the retort by noting Solomon learned from his spouses.
Dialogue from a theater item questions whether a past production provoked a mob scene in the play, among the audience, or on salary day, signaling controversy and public reaction.
On Leap Year, Weary William blasts national holidays as 365 days only while Frayed Philip mocks the idea. The exchange hints at labor strain and calendar quirks in a humorous street encounter.
A clipped Bit from Tit-Bits recalls a sailor describing a mock naval battle in which a boy allegedly torpedoed the speaker in the engine room. The exchange is framed as a humorous, old fashioned seaside tale.
Mrs McGuire asks if her husband is any better since his visit to the doctor. Mrs Finnegan replies he is not well as his head spins trying to follow the doctor's directions. The pair discuss instructions to take one powder six times daily.
A lawyer questions grounds for a divorce as a wife explains her husband always reproaches her with tut tut. The exchange centers on incomparability as the stated cause and the couple's troubled marriage.
A columnist notes fewer canoe drowning jokes this season and wonders if humorists disappear after a humorous misstep. The comment suggests clout or silence follows a tipping over in wit.
A pitcher jokes about losing control during a game while walking the floor with his youngest. His wife asks why, and he says management would fine him for his lack of control over the bowl.
Mrs Goodhart scolds Dusty Rhodes for not seeking work as he explains he was ill. The exchange reveals friction over effort and health affecting job search.
A veteran statesman urges not to forget the folks back home as the new representative vows to remember them while acknowledging limited chances to forget if jobs remain to fill. The exchange highlights duty, memory, and political readiness.
A playful dialogue asks if a wife found a house that suits her. The reply: it suits her, all but the kitchen range closets cellar front parlor vestibule lighting and dining room wallpaper.
A playful verse notes gentle persuasion may move a reservoir closer to the idea of control. It humorously contrasts forcing a horse to drink with the limits of human power over natural elements.
Witty exchange noting Noah and his sons lack skill at poker since they never held more than two of a kind, humorously implying the ark crew would struggle at the table.
The exchange shows Tommy Snagg threatening and Bobby Bluster replying that his father, the boss of Tommy’s father, would not allow a clash. The dialogue hints at an ongoing feud linked to family power.
A brief exchange depicts a hobo offering to mow the lawn in exchange for dinner. He then pivots to a warning about trusting a total stranger, framing a streetwise lesson about caution.
A character recalls Longfellow’s verse titled To Stay at Home Is Best and suggests it was written after a summer excursion. The dialogue notes the poet’s possible return from a summer outing.
In A D 29 Perean summer, Jesus rebukes disciples for seeking preeminence and welcomes children as models of teachable humility. He warns that greatness comes from serving others in his name, and that those who cast out devils in his name may still be for him, not against him.
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