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This newspaper page contains 29 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Dec 25, 1908
Page
3
An advertisement extols Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna as a effective laxative showing its cleansing, sweetening and gentle action on internal organs without debility or dose escalation. It praises physician approval and urges purchase of the genuine California Fig Syrup Co. product from leading druggists.
A terse Detroit Free Press item notes a troubled marriage as Jones wed an orphan, the couple facing friction over trivial matters, and the wife declares she will return to the orphan asylum after three months of a cold, unhappy honeymoon.
A quotation from the Chicago Record-Herald contrasts women’s hopeful outlook with men’s absence from danger. It jokes that a woman may search for a man under her bed for forty years yet maintain faith in finding one.
A humorous Chicago note questions optimism with a quip about a worker who believes his weekly pay will leave him with several dollars to spare.
An ad proclaims a catarrh cure with a nationwide reward offer and testimonials. It asserts internal action to remove disease formations, boost constitution, and aid natural healing. The copy urges readers to send for testimonials and lists Cheney Co Toledo Ohio as the source.
A titled alien questions why money is given in small 14,000 franc installments while his American wife asserts she bought him on an installment plan. The Philadelphia Ledger note adds a light aside about Mrs. Austins Buckwheat flour and grocery recommendations.
A Detroit Free Press item recalls an encounter where a man offered to pay Mrs Welldresseds fare on a street car and she refused the act, leaving him stunned by her supposed mean-spiritedness.
An old advertisement touts a single product named Bromo Quinine described as LANATIVE BROMO QUININE. It mentions signature by Eo W. Grove and promotes a cure for a cold in one day for 25 cents.
In Yonkers the Redds and Greenes discuss a new car, joking about its make and scent of the brand. Mrs. Redd asks if it’s the same as theirs, noting it does not smell the name.
Manila merchant W. L. Baize reports in vivid terms a rite among the Kakko hattchochka in Sulu mountains. A bride at 14 is chosen by her, publicly announced with dowry and charms, then led to a ceremony where suitors wear ants on their fingers as bids to win the bride. The ant is crushed by the chosen husband after selection, and the ceremony ends with the ants eaten as a wedding offering.
A historical look at the mail order business emphasizing the value of targeted letters. The piece notes publishers profit from letters and lists the old and new strategies, highlighting a New York dealer who argues that selective mailings yield prompt, profitable returns to customers.
A Philadelphia Record humor piece shows two women arguing over debts small and large, tallying cents and dollars with a pencil. After half an hour they seek an arbiter who concludes one owes the other 1.60 dollars, prompting an actual exchange to settle the accounts.
Attorney Tom Cannon and a visiting Londoner ride through Virginia and stumble on a blacksmith shop with a sign promising help for the illiterate. The Briton laughs at the joke and muses that it would be funny if the blacksmith were away.
In a humorous note from Harper's Bazar the writer reports Mrs Sawney appears pretty while Mrs Wonk-ears voices quiet concern. Farmer Honk-Yes is described as lazy and unconcerned about daily duties, framing a playful social snapshot.
In a playful skit Bennet-Did you ever know anyone so homely prompts a comic line about a woman so homely that even automobile goggles look good on her. The exchange reflects lighthearted banter in the era’s humor page.
A Philadelphia North American note cites J G Millias on stride lengths and jumps. Hares measure four foot strides and can leap ten to twelve feet under fear, with ditch gaps ten to twenty feet wide. Hares rise five feet vertically. Rabbits walk two foot strides, leap six to seven feet, but stay under three feet high. Rabbits can swim when forced like dogs.
A humorous Chicago News snippet shows a waiter offering green turtle soup to Uncle Hiram who rejects it citing no ripe soup. The exchange ends with a sharp retort about wanting soup if available.
Stranger examines an ancient suit claimed to be Roman armor from a plundering expedition. The discussion then shifts to whether the relic is an old style sack coat or another historical garment.
A Nashville Tennessean reprint quotes W. S. Mitchell of Corpus Christi Texas praising fish over beef and pork noting coast residents eat seafood daily avoid indigestion. He urges proper fish preparation as common cooking fails in the region.
A mother recalls her infant suffering Cuban Itch from head to toe. After trying doctors with no relief she used Cuticura Soap and Ointment, the child slept and healed within two weeks spending only seven pence. Now five years old she lauds the treatment.
An early note notes Edward in a new green hat seen in public while pondering if bands play The Wearing of the Green. It mentions Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for teething pain and wind colic priced at 25 cents a bottle quoting a sentimental line on affluence and life.
In a Tit-Bits gag a boarding house keeper explains the hot water cure sweeping boarders who drink hot water thrice daily. The cook jokes it cures all ills, while the keeper orders more hot water in oxtail soup to avoid excess richness.
A New York Sun report presents the iron masked figure denying intent to be mugged and challenging police zeal for the Bertillon system as he explains his avoidance of danger in the dark chamber.
Quip notes Nelson’s death rumor and a pun about a leg while reflecting on smiles needing effort. The excerpt blends satirical wit with a grim undertone about life’s hardships.
A Guam resident went for a playful swim and was surprised by a shark despite a calm sea. The incident prompted warnings to beachgoers and reminders about ocean safety.
Guaranteed to cure a case of itching bleeding or protruding piles in 14 days or money back. Aimed at readers seeking relief from hemorrhoids with a promise of swift results and refund option.
A Yonkers Statesman note recalls an Englishman yawning aloud when a wasp flew in and stung his tongue. Onlookers say he could only express his feeling through the crowd’s laughter and shared sympathy.
Quote from the Cornell Widow reveals a playful exchange about a peroxide blonde from last summer who is now planning to marry the speaker this spring. The lighthearted tidbit captures local humor and social intrigue.
A dialogue shows Cook asking a neighbor if they go alone. The neighbor replies the family is going with him. A humorous note about a hearty breakfast follows and a wry line about forgetting sins.
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