22 Mar 1899
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ackley World
Location
Ackley, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Mar 22, 1899
Page
1
A collection of clipped lines from Chicago Daily News and Town Topics with satirical remarks on appearances and misread opinions. The fragments reference a window scene with Pashem and Willie, a mock feud line, and a note on judging by clothes.
Reading room snippets from Evening Journal and other papers present a collage of light humor and social quips. Jests about eggs from a local farm tease literary allusions while playful exchanges on manners and signs elicit faint smiles across readers in a bustling city.
A Chicago Daily News fragment describes Willie Plasé playing a prank on his sister by pretending to be another man. The next day he sells theater tickets to a speculator for half price, reflecting a mistaken identity and adolescent mischief.
A Chicago Post comment portrays a man dubbed Mr Mugging as a prominent citizen not by deeds but by always staying out of the way to critique others. The exchange highlights a critique of prominence earned through background criticism rather than action.
Anxious mother rushes toddler to a dentist with no money, the toothache easing en route. A sharp exchange at a social event features Miss Tommey rebuffing Mr Callow, lampooning flirtation and fashion, with a gag about a dress’s size and price.
An 1800s style advertisement fragment promotes brandy doses for consumption and a ghost of a smile, touts Sufloh's cure and Electric Bitters as universal remedies, claims liver and kidney benefits, nerve strength, and blood purification, and markets Rocky Mountain Tea and a breakfast dish priced at under a dollar. multiple brand names and suppliers are listed, including Pfanner and Prander.
A new West Point graduate encounters an old soldier on a Santiago beat who, posing as a brigadier general, proves the gap between rank and bearing. The lieutenant demands salute etiquette, and the trooper, Samuel Sumner, maintains discipline with cool wit, leaving the officer reddened and wary.
A mature speaker recalls spotting his reflected face in an elevator mirror and recognizing aging marks. He notes the surprise of seeing himself as an older, gray man with crow’s feet, yet asserts he remains young at heart and plans to stay that way for years.
A famed sculptor laments the scarcity of arms matching ideal measurements. He notes the arm should measure from wrist to armpit as twice the head, with a full upper arm and a tapering forearm. He adds expression matters, praising Spanish French and Italian arms, citing Sara Bernhardt as an example, and contrasts with American lack of arm expression. A comic aside from Miss Lonely Hearts follows.
Captain Jacobsen of the German cruiser Geier reports in the Marine Review on Spanish gunner y tactics during the Santiago campaign. He notes only one instance a Spanish shell hit an American ship, describes a night bombardment misfire, and recalls Spanish howitzers dated 1608 and 1718 firing only about 800 yards. He questions whether Americans were easily frightened by the Spanish bluff.
The Parlor City asylum superintendent recounts a patient’s complaint about fire safety signs. The tale blends humor and insight, noting that lunatics often show sharper wit than sane people and that life in an asylum is far from prosaic.
A Chicago Times Herald report describes how a U S arrest warrant reads to a prisoner and the fear it provokes. Chief Deputy Marshal Rowe recently served papers and the inmate, upon hearing the opening line The President of the United States, begged to be taken along.
A fragmented 19th century advertisement sheet shows product pitches for De Witt's Early Risers and Hall's Catarrh Cure. Includes testimonials from Toledo druggists and claims of liver health, headache relief, and improved digestion. Mentions J Gienry Co and West Traux firms and a one hundred dollar reward note for catarrh cures.
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