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Newspaper
Ackley World
Location
Ackley, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 10, 1901
Page
8
A compact montage of humorous lines and quick quips from a vaudeville like revue. Bits touch on marriage, theater spars, divorce lawyers, unions, and a jokey exchange about a new meter. Read as a playful snapshot of crowd interactions and stage banter.
Washington Letter details the Congressional Cemetery on the eastern outskirts of the city where 400 cenotaphs were set aside for free interment of congressmen dying away from home. It notes uniform monuments, two exceptions, and the shift from actual burials to cenotaphs after 1876, plus oddities like a Choctaw chief memorial and Elbridge Gerry and George Clinton monuments.
A Boston Transcript remark questions the value of schools and colleges in keeping pace with knowledge, arguing they fail those who never attend them and suggesting education’s purpose remains misunderstood by some observers.
A crusty grocery man and a poetry-hunting racer clash over a nursery rhyme about the schooner Hesperus. The pursuer insists the poem mentions a vessel sailing the raging main as he questions the grocer about tubs and produce, chasing the remembered verse and its maritime fate.
A fragment notes a pharmacist mixing medicines with precise drops, prompting concern over poison-like preparations and safety at a local drug store. The phrase implies a dangerous practice by a shopkeeper, warning readers about potential harm.
A Philadelphia Press quote discusses a young match and age concerns in a playful back‑and‑forth between Miss Anteck and Miss Pepprey. A St. Louis Post‑Dispatch item warns on unseen waste in homes, urging thorough sifting of ashes and cinders daily to improve fuel efficiency and safety in fires.
A mystical man questions belief in mind over matter. a practical friend asserts matter dominates mind. The tale recounts a dull tack hammer striking the thumb, provoking thought long forgotten. Washington Star notes this contrasting stance in a brief, reflective quip.
A fragmented humorous exchange references a Suburbanite asking to meet the man who threw a stone at a property advertised as near a depot. The Chicago News quips on statistics, while Mephisto and Dante discuss Lent dullness and writing about Mephisto's domain, with a playful jab about spring bonnet propositions in the Baltimore American.
A curious Sydney anecdote recounts how a penniless immigrant befriended a shark tale at Mrs Macquarie's chair and used a London newspaper dated weeks earlier to dupe a Wool broker. The ruse yields wealth and a public house in Woolloomooloo, amid 19th century harbor lore.
Two passengers discuss a book that aided them most and the city directory. The exchange appears in the Syracuse Herald and hints at a curiosity about directories and literature.
A brief old Washington Star dialogue shows a mother telling her son Wille to be polite to all, while the boy humorously claims he sicked a dot on a tramp but will apologize afterward, reflecting a quaint era voice and slang.
A battered young man boards a streetcar in Philadelphia and tips the conductor 15 cents while saying buy gin and beer. He claims recent travel in Europe and jokes about forgotten European customs. The conductor notes the stunt mirrors a common pattern in big cities to signal foreign travel.
A compilation of editorials from Chicago Record-Herald Bastan Merakt and other papers criticizing Emperor William II for failing to earn respect. They discuss his speechmaking, need for a trusted adviser, and the mobilization of public opinion against autocratic restraint.
Edgar Pemberton recounts a comic coincidence involving W. S. Gilbert and Ma. Sohn Eire as rehearsal conflict at the Court theatre. A quarrel over a scene led them to depart separately, only to meet in a nearly empty Sloane Square railway compartment, producing a humorous scene in transit. The tale appears among Stray Stories and is framed by the broader “Mainly About People” column.
A fragmented humor snippet references a judge and defendant exchange about a weather prophet, with comic asides about dating and a “fat lady” preference. The garbled text from Chicago News and Smart Set style items presents abrasive quips rather than a coherent news story.
A Philadelphia Press quotation captures a witty exchange about affection and public perception. The line ponders whether fondness is genuine or driven by others noting his fondness for her, highlighting social commentary on romance and reputation.
A fragmentary Chicago Record item hints at a tale where a prosperous debtor resisting payment prompts a plan to abduct his cook. The readable text suggests a bold, perhaps criminal, motive linked to unpaid rent and retribution.
Consumption is destruction of lung by a growing germ, as mold spoils cheese. If you kill the germ you stop the consumption. Begin with a little Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil and gradually take more as you feel able. When strong again, germs are dead. Send forty sample if you have not tried it. Scott & Bowne Chamists, 400 Pearl St, New York. 50c and $1.00, all druggists.
A Chicago Tribune style exchange questions the number of religions, referencing a knowledge editor’s probe about world beliefs. The piece cites a police department budget and includes quips about shoes, poultry remedies, and odd local notices with a scattered parade of names and places.
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