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Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Sep 24, 1914
Page
3
A speaker asserts no shame in his dealings and dares any inquisitive lawyer to press for details. He taunts a snooping attorney with harsh language, claiming openness to disclose what has been said if challenged. The remark underscores defiance and contempt for scrutiny.
A London Standard anecdote recalls the Swiss president entering through an unassuming doorway in shirt sleeves. The tale links past diplomats and a celebrated English contractor to a private entrance, noting the president’s modest, hands on gesture as part of official myth.
A new London agency for British East Africa and Uganda establishes a museum in Piccadilly showcasing the territory. The facility will display big game specimens and hunt photographs, along with the agency’s East Africa business operations.
The oldest participant Levi Thompson of Roblin at 96 voted in the Ontario election and hoped his casting vote would help banish Ontario's bars. His son John, grandson Ira and great grandson Ralph also voted in the same subdivision. A. F. Hare of Grafton aged 95 voted for Sam Clarke, Liberal, in West Northumberland.
A diner finds a needle in his noodle soup, calls the waiter to report the sharp surprise. The waiter, after a quick look at the menu, grins and says the needle is only a typographical error and should read noodle.
An advertisement touts Parmelee's Vegetable Pills as the best remedy for dyspepsia after meals. It claims the pills, anecia iv, relieve fullness and stomach pains and notes many users vouch for their effectiveness.
A Kansas City Star item recounts a quarrel where a mistress berates a peddler for unsafe matches while he defends his wares with a dry retort about safer options. The exchange highlights tensions over product safety and consumer trust in street commerce.
A judge quips about a bridge game saying the player uses a cantilever style, never leaning on her partner for support. The remark highlights a sharp, racey analogy to independence and strategy in the courtroom.
A Buffalo Express quote captures a bandmaster ordering the band to omit the final four bars, while a weary marcher warns that refusal will halt progress. The exchange underscores discipline and tension during a performance or march.
Shimmerpate asks Sammie for opinion on a drawing book. Sammie looks at pages showing arms, legs, feet and leads and mutters it must have been an awful explosion, revealing a macabre interpretation from a child.
In a park a pedestrian asked if two little boys who resemble each other are twins. The older boy replies after a moment of thought that they are not twins but Methodists, highlighting their close bond and shared faith.
Fragmentary dialogue appears to show a woman seeking a bold suitor. A brisk exchange suggests a mock courtship or theatrical scene with a man and woman negotiating love and commitment in terse lines. No clear event, setting, or人物 identified.
A commercial traveller tries to bribe a Scottish manager with Havana cigars after a large Aberdeen order. The manager declines the bribe and explains his kirk loyalty, then, offered a nominal sale, ends up buying two boxes.
A genial stout man proclaims I weigh 250 pounds. Miss Sparks groans from a footstep mishap during a dance. He apologizes and vows to start a diet at dawn in a lighthearted exchange reported by the New York Post.
In Calumet, a hostess complains of a rude guest at her reception, only to reveal the man is her husband. The exchange highlights social tensions over propriety and hospitality.
A boy, first seeing Atlas supporting the earth, asks why the figure lacks a base after a pitched ball hits him. The child’s quick quip, captured by humorist Puck, reflects a playful confusion over rules and imagery.
The mistress explains to the new maid that a metal bottle can keep things hot or cold as desired. The maid reacts with astonishment asking how it can tell which temperature is needed.
Hemandhaw explains his coat is fastened with a safety pin after a broken button. Alison jokes about patent buttons. The man reveals his wife is heavily involved in a sewing society, holding an important office and meeting four times a week, leaving her little time for domestic tasks.
An actress brings a hen on her sea journey to gain eggs and press notices. The tale recalls Cecil Rhodes who always carried hens on long voyages between England and the Cape. A prominent South African who sailed with Rhodes joked that he tipped Rhodes’ hen keeper to get the eggs.
A brief humorous line from the Boston Transcript features a child named Bobby answering a question about pudding at dinner. The exchange ends with Bobby noting he had less than half of what he wanted yet felt full.
A judge warned a young attorney of contempt of court after a sharp remark. The attorney quickly admitted fault, conceding the judge was right. The judge, though dubious, accepted the apology and adjourned.
A man seeking to convince his wife he is a genius should start proving it during the courtship. The remark suggests that early diligence and demonstration are key to overcoming doubt.
Struggling inventor Sir Henry Bessemer, born 101 years ago, faced misfortune yet endured through perseverance. In 1833 Britain lost 500000 pounds yearly to stamp fraud until he used perforated dies to stamp dates, then offered the improvement to a forgetful government. The steel process drew 120000 pounds in licenses, with critics eager to recover their money. He proved the method fool proof after two years and established a Sheffield factory.
The Exchange notes a resurgence of moustaches among Oxford rowing crew with five crew members displaying facial hair, Cambridge showing one. This yields six of eighteen, an unusual share for men barely out of their teens. It also cites England's 80 percent clean shave rate and many who abstain from shaving entirely.
A quip from the Ohio State Journal wonders why a baseball player fields with the right hand rather than catching with it. The issue hints at how players grip the ball and the sport’s terminology while teasing future editorial inquiry.
A fragmentary dialogue shows Edith replying she is glad to see Mrs Kawler and that Edith’s mother is also glad, expressing hope for a visit today and a pleasant time together. The text is incomplete but conveys a domestic scene of cordial expectation.
A merchant calls for a boy, recognizing the applicant as the same youth from a younger age. The boy replies he is older now and back to seek the position. The exchange shows the merchant acknowledging the youth’s growth and the boy asserting readiness for work.
Charles Lamb recounts a chronic grumbler who complains at whist for lacking trumps. Companions rig the deal so he receives all thirteen cards, hoping for relief, but the man laments he has no other cards. He admits yes to trumps yet admits absence of any other cards.
A staged dialogue delivers a sharp punch line as a woman cites two obstacles to marriage. The man asks for the reasons and she replies with the clever sum: she herself and another man. The bit plays on social humor and romantic sarcasm.
A wife notes rising costs and strain as a husband reflects on their marriage. They discuss personal opinion gaps and the neighbors’ views, highlighting common tussles over finances and perception within a family setting.
The brief fragment notes a facial expression described as uplifted, associated with a shining quality implied by the term cun. The text presents a single evocative image without clear event, person, or place details to anchor a broader story.
A letter from an eastern reader describes relief from dyspepsia and nervousness after reducing meat and greasy foods and using Grape-Nuts cereal. The family reports better health and happiness, crediting Grape-Nuts for the change, with a brief endorsement from the Canadian Postum Co. The note ends urging readers to consider the product’s benefits.
A slightly eccentric bachelor hides requests in notes for Mary Jane to perform chores yet crosses a line with a cruel message found on note paper he sent home. Mary Jane, shocked, declares she won’t endure the sting of such a note any longer after discovering Die inside this package.
A Chicago Record-Herald quotation contrasts a man’s fear of retribution with the guilt of confessing, noting the torment of believing one would not have been found out if kept silent. The exchange highlights remorse and the burden of truth in a terse moral dialogue.
A husband and wife clash over late night drinking with sharp humor. The wife brands any man who spends evenings and money in a bar as lunatic, while he retorts with a coined term saloonitic in a heated exchange. The exchange captures a domestic quarrel framed in witty barroom slang.
In a playful exchange Fogarty proclaims his forty years of knowing the bride while the bride retorts she is only thirty one and a half. The moment captures a rustic humor scene likely from a local wedding or social gathering described in the era’s voice.
A dealer presents an antique fiddle claimed as the instrument Nero played during Rome’s fire. The buyer questions the tale, and the dealer concedes it is a myth with the name worn off.
A humorous Sketch exchange notes a lifeguard calming drowning bathers not with brave words but a blunt method. The Lifesaver jokes he uses a firm thumb in the neck to silence panicked bathers.
A brief quip compares memory to tablecloth focus in a playful exchange. Pele Mele captures a moment of witty dialogue about what is known versus what is remembered. The remark hints at humor in scarcity and the artist’s observational tone.
The article touts Dr. J. D. Kellogg's Asthma Remedy as miraculously effective against suffocating asthma attacks. It claims relief is quick and lasting, urging asthmatics to rely on this dependable product, said to be sold everywhere.
A Glasgow traveler, shivering from a sea crossing, asks a druggist for relief. The clerk offers a bottle for two dollars, provoking the man to exclaim in his accent that he would rather be seasick. The incident is recounted with a dash of humor from the New York World.
Critics debated Massenet’s place in fame praising him as charming though not great. He could recognize genius in others and is quoted from Paris Figaro where a critic flatters Wagner while Massenet gently offers to take what remains.
A violent earthquake shock was recorded a few days ago by the River View seismograph in Sydney Australia. The severest disturbance registered by the instrument, the waves lasting three hours. It is thought the quake occurred near Tonga.
MacVicar in low spirits and a chemist’s quip about poison prompt puzzles as MacNear and Tuppenee appear in a fragmentary note. A printroom pun and cryptic dialogue hint at a broader, unseen story from the era.
Mrs Alec Tweedie writes on home life in America noting the poor pay and scarce services. She observes street corner bootblacks, two pennies for polishing, and poor hotel boot rooms with segregated spaces for ladies. Luxury exists but comfort does not due to few workers to provide service.
In a southeastern county foxhounds and a riderless chase spark humor as a master scolds a lady for riding too near the pack. She answers with wit, steering clear of hounds and fox, earning his apology after mistaking his hunter for a camel and the hounds for fox terriers.
A Nova Scotia resident endorses Dr Chase's Nerve Food claiming it cured her nervous dyspepsia and headaches. She notes a 14 pound weight gain after using 21 boxes and urges others to verify her improved health with neighbors as witnesses.
A tale from Oxford recalls how strict manners govern introductions among students. A freshman, drowning in the Isis, is missed by an older peer who laments not being introduced in time, joking that his lack of acquaintance might have saved him.
A boy hesitates at the ocean after a year of swimming in a warm sulfur pool. He declares the sea is not water for boys, saying it’s for boats, in a scene recounted by the Chicago News.
Polly taunts Adolphus about what their father said, offering a peach if he can guess. Adolphus stumbles, then Polly reveals he was listening, as reported by Sydney Bulletin.
A Baltimore American quip notes a young nobleman’s travels. The witty line suggests he did not go incognito but rode through in railroad rains, turning a stealthy disguise into a humorous image of rail travel weather.
Palms thrive under favorable conditions for 250 years according to a regional study. Researchers chart growth patterns, soil moisture, and climate resilience to explain extended lifespan and dense canopy formation across palm groves.
A humorous exchange notes a talking parrot that would repeat every word it heard until a person reveals the bird is deaf. The quip underlines the comic miscommunication and the punchline hinges on the deafness detail.
An impatient father vows a strong whipping while an athletic youth counters that any success would fuel the sports page. The exchange, cited by the Washington Star, captures a moment of bravado and humor between a parent and a young athlete.
Sir Oliver Longe, a top living scientist, urges fellow researchers to begin wireless weather experiments. He proposes discharging powerful wireless waves from kites under various conditions to test if rain can be induced or prevented. The plan ties to a solar eclipse path from Greenland to Persia for coordinated signals.
The Boston transcript cites Elise Reclus, a French scientist, noting savage tribes in South America and Africa show cooperative humanity with animals. Reclus argues civilization harms animals through domination, whips, and artificial care, degrading both beasts and people.
A brief note quotes the Buffalo Express calling Mexican poems useless and “not worth the paper they’re printed on.” The remark reflects strong negative opinion on the poetry's value.
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