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This newspaper page contains 42 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Sep 18, 1913
Page
3
A famed mathematician visiting a small English town stayed at a hotel with many travelers and medical men. A doctor joked that certain M D s planned to kidnap him for brain extraction to learn his genius. The mathematician replied he would continue working without brains just as the doctors do.
Sufferers of asthma face sudden attacks and vain struggles but with Dr J D Kellogg's Asthma Remedy at hand they can say goodbye to the enemy and enjoy life again. It helps at once.
A pedestrian halted at a busy intersection faces a chaotic scene with a car, motorcycle, taxi, and truck nearly colliding. An accelerating aeroplane looms overhead, and in a desperate move he lifts a manhole lid and drops into the sewer, only to be struck by an approaching train.
Beasle explains a quarrel with Flarry over returning a ring. Bessie notes the issue is not the return but which ring is Flarry's. The speaker is uncertain which ring belongs to Flarry and must identify the correct ring.
The Toronto World notes unusual activity in 1913 with higher sales but lower profits due to rising costs and fierce price cutting. Edys products reach wholesale and jobbing channels as Canadian business strengthens, with shortages easing and demand for everyday items rising. Rowley cites rush orders and rapid delivery, predicting firmer prices and fewer cuts as supplies improve.
An old shopkeeper during spring has his shop repainted and asks the painter to leave a corner untouched to spare courting youths. The painter argues young lovers will notice fresh paint’s scent, and the shopkeeper replies that a man who has never had a girl cannot know how love makes even wet paint smell like violets and roses.
Captain F. R. Desjardin of the vessel Storke, St. Andre Kamouraska endorses Minard's Liniment as indispensable for everyday life and sea travel, stating he would not embark on a voyage without it even if it cost a dollar a bottle.
An aged man on his deathbed asks his son for the latest score. The boy reports the home team muffed a fly, prompting the man to say let him die. The exchange frames a somber moment as fate and sport collide.
A young colored man seeking work at a country livery stable quickly reports finishing a task. He asserts he has greased the two front wheels while the rear wheels remain untouched, offering a humorous miscommunication about which wheels were done.
An American sightseeing in England aboard the battleship Victory is shown the brass tablet marking where Lord Nelson fell. A bemused American quips that he nearly tripped over the same spot, prompting a humorous exchange with an English sailor.
The text notes a two year extension for construction work and adds that prices may be adjusted at five year intervals to reflect lumber value changes. It also mentions a Palawan subterranean river surveyed by US Coast and Geodetic Survey officers, navigable for a small boat two and a half miles from the mouth, with a tunnel widening into large stalactite-filled chambers.
Dominion poultry inspector Fred E. Elford urged prairie farmers to expand poultry to boost profits during a city visit. He cited government farms to establish experimental setups and noted Alberta crop failures, hardy wintering by chickens, and simple cotton fronts on Arctic chicken houses. He praised American cross breeds with Plymouth Rock and Red Wyandotte, reported no losses with artificial rearing of turkeys, and advised using a trained collie to deter prairie wolves.
A mother retrieves her daughter from a party after the child was deemed naughty. The mother asks if she explained the misbehavior to Mrs. B, but the daughter says she claimed the child had gone to a much better party.
Patsy and Tom near a bee hive and onion bed suffer stings as Patsy prescribes sucking the sting and rubbing onion juice. A bee then lands on Patsy’s neck prompting further exclamations and a second urge to suck the sting and apply onion juice.
Longevity differences show crocodile and carp at 300 years, elephants and whales at 200, falcon 159, parrots and eagles around 100. Lions rhinos 60, goose pike pelican 59, hart vulture 40, ass bull camel 30, horse 25, peacock 24 25, pig bear cow pigeon cat dog deer wolf lobster 20, duck nightingale lark fox pheasant canary cricket 10, rabbit 8, hare squirrel 7.
A dramatic verse line depicts a man urging aid as he leans on a kiss and a sudden footfall on the stair echoes a warning from the maiden. The scene suggests a tense encounter where help is invoked and chance interrupts.
A club debate turns into a test of will power as a conceited man bets he can force another from a corner. The quiet challenger silently commands, delays, and keeps his seat while five minutes pass. The cornered man finally yields, admitting no influence was felt until the quiet man finally calls him out a week hence.
A promotional description touts Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil as a true and faithful friend for sailors colliers fishermen lumbermen and outdoor workers. It claims to ease pain relieve colds dress wounds subdue lumbago and overcome rheumatism making it a staple in homes and on journeys.
Four year old Little Ralph, an only child, stayed up with guests and, after a laughing remark, sought to repeat his clever line. He pressed his parents for the other smart thing he had said the day before, showing quick wit and budding showmanship.
A dialogue fragment features Mistress Bridget and Cook Faith debating accusations about cutlery missing items. The dustmen are suspected by the speaker, who recalls a previous incident when they returned three knives found in the dustbin. The tone is humorous and domestic.
An acquaintance challenges a young man who fought to prove his aunt was of sound mind after she died. He reveals he kept her in a lunatic asylum for five years and now stands to inherit her money, claiming responsibility for her care and the need to justify her sanity.
Miss Verner discusses delays with her mother while Mr Slowman retorts. George comforts her as tension rises over the missed first act and the mounting frustration of the occasion is conveyed through terse dialogue.
Willie answers the teacher on the difference between sufficient and enough. He says sufficient is when mama thinks he has eaten enough pie, and enough is when he thinks he has eaten sufficient.
A teacher asks for noun based adjectives and a student offers examples like dangerous and hazardous. The fat pupil at the back suggests pious as full of piety, prompting further discussion on word formation.
A groom explains at the wedding that he left his money in his other pants and urges his father to take him to the cellar. He whispers he is a plumber and will show how to fix the gas meter so it won’t register more than forty percent, a cheeky misdirection at a jovial ceremony.
A young man discussing art at a debutante’s dinner presses for a compliment on etchings. She answers with frank charm, admitting fondness for etchings but gently declines further talk tonight, citing it is late and a jelly will suffice.
Brown asks about the lateness of his return while Jones reveals his wife said nothing and calmly sat at the piano to play Tell me the Old, Old Story.
A terse rebuke suggests the subject should attach a motor to his jaw and do the work himself, framing the act as a sharp, tongue in cheek remedy for needless dining room theatrics.
Mark Twain observed two young men swaggering in a restaurant. One ordered and told the waiter to inform the cook whom it was for, while the other insisted on announcing his name. Mark then called the waiter, asking for a dozen oysters and to whisper his name to each oyster.
A concise reflection distinguishes usefulness from active use, noting that utility alone does not guarantee engagement or application. The saying emphasizes purposeful action over mere possession or potential value.
A man recounts a club incident where the chairman offered a silk hat to any member who could truthfully claim never to have kissed any woman but his wife. No one stands, and the narrator admits he was about to but fears his silk hat makes him look awful.
A kitchen accident sends the dining room crockery crashing down the stairs. The husband and wife stand speechless as the mistress bursts out in alarm. Jane explains it is only the dinner things, noting she hadn’t washed them yet.
Scene notes reveal a chaotic backstage panic as actors rush and scream. The manager calls for a curtain to stage a dramatic opening chorus and mislead the audience about the true events behind the scenes.
The actor Richard Mansfield, noted for thinning hair, was teased by a friend who joked about his baldness. Mansfield quipped that his hair would keep on growing as long as his daily prayer continued.
A lawyer boasts of his performance in a trial while a friend laments that his client did not receive adequate representation. The exchange highlights perceived adequacy of counsel and client outcomes in the case.
A wry aphorism recounts a couple who wed quickly and quickly regret it. the proverb twists to say they repented in haste and again in leisure, underscoring rash unions and swift remorse with a playful tone.
A hotel clerk asks a question about the speaker's past loves and the summer girl replies that he is nearly the first this season. She notes she has only been there an hour and mentions a brief flirtation with a bus driver from the station.
A humorous exchange unfolds as a professor, reportedly proud, is seen with an umbrella in hand. He remarks that he has not forgotten his umbrella, while his wife reminds him he left it at Lome.
Lady remarks on the new girl being very quiet. Mistress agrees she is so quiet that she does not disturb the dust while cleaning the room.
In a terse exchange the grandfather chides the boy for lacking in exams and term marks while the boy insists he was top of his class. The dialogue hints at family pressure and schooling expectations.
A narrator recalls a tense escape from a ravenous pack as wolves close in and a woman sighs with relief that they had their muzzles on. The scene emphasizes danger and sudden relief amid the chase.
Some people worry cheerfully, seeming to pity any effort to deter them from the habit. The remark notes a lighthearted yet potentially persistent pattern in behavior. It reflects a social observation about how optimism can mask resistance to change.
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