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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Oct 31, 1912
Page
11
A Washington joke places Colonel Roosevelt before gates of heaven. St Peter greets him and explains the heavenly choir with 2500 singers, then 50,000 tenors, contraltos, and sopranos. Roosevelt quips I sing bass, ending the humorous vignette.
An Army officer posted to Bombay visits Government House to meet the new military secretary. The secretary offers a handshake with two fingers. the officer replies that the governor gives him three, delivering a witty retort.
If one be troubled with corns and warts, he will find in Holloway's Corn Cure an application that will entirely relieve suffering.
Frank H Hitchcock the postmaster general visits Union Station in Washington and attempts to enter a railway mail service car. A burly clerk ejects him claiming strict orders to keep all strangers out of these cars. The exchange highlights security measures around mail handling.
The exchange notes sympathy for the underdog as a natural instinct. Buggins contends there is optimism he will prevail, while Muggins acknowledges the appeal of a coming win.
A reader credits Grape-Nuts and Postum for resolving chronic dyspepsia and nervousness after years of poor mornings and weight loss. He details improvements after switching from waffles and meat to the cereal, noting weight gain, better appetite, and absence of heaviness. The Canadian Postum Co. endorses the letter and promotes further reader submissions.
A savage king contemplates preparing a captive as an Irish soup. The royal chef notes the stereotype, and the king insists on a method fitting Erin inhabitants. The court dialogue reveals a grim humor about Irish stew and a phrase about a broth of a boy.
One hundred dollars reward offered by the undersigned for information leading to the arrest and conviction of F J Cheney for fraudulent medical claims. The notice lists Walding, Kixton & Marve of Toledo Ohio as involved druggists. It promotes gold based on a cure for catarrh and urges taking for constipation with references to testimonials and 7 cent bottles.
A village rustic who did odd jobs for the blacksmith asked for leave of absence for the next day and received it. In the morning the boss saw him in Sunday dress walking from the church with a woman two paces behind him on the opposite side of the road. He signaled the companion with a thumb and a nod and exclaimed Got 'er.
A testimonial tone praises Dr. J. D. Kellogg's Asthma Remedy as the most positive blessing for asthma victims. Letters from numerous users claim effective relief and urge readers to obtain the remedy from their dealer today.
Patient suffered kidney pain in the back with inability to lie flat or move, legs swollen and discomfort extensive. Medical notes describe distress and limited mobility due to renal-related symptoms.
Mr Thomas D Walsh of Pictou Nova Scotia reports his wife was bed-ridden with kidney back pain and edema. After failing doctor’s medicine they used Dr Chase's Kidney Liver Pills, noting she sat up after two boxes and regained strength with three more boxes back to housework. Each pill dose costs 25 cents at Edmanson Bates Co Limited Toronto dealers.
An Ohio father, racing to borrow scales to weigh his newborn, meets a rag dealer. The pink mite is tied in a towel on the scales. Six pounds, six pounds cry the nurse and father. The rag dealer smiles and says the scales he buys by may show about ten pounds.
Mr Touche representing North Islington set a new Commons record with a 385 word question filling half the Order Paper. The inquiry cited an order making college training essential for a head teachership. The previous record holder was Mr Ginnell for North Westmeath.
Sea-water holds notable silver content and is often found dissolved on copper sheathing. The observation notes how silver ions interact with copper surfaces common in nautical hull protection.
When artists may reproduce pictures in a public gallery they are allowed to sell the copies for their own benefit.
A nervous young journalist rises to speak at a banquet beside Joseph G. Cannon. He fumbles his remarks, mispronounces words, and is cut off with a blunt interjection from Cannon, ending the attempt abruptly.
A courtroom anecdote centers on George Clarke, a celebrated Black minstrel. When asked if his father was a lawyer, Clarke replies yes, prompting the judge and court to erupt in laughter at the lawyer’s blunder.
A captain tests his men on the duties of a soldier. Private Murphy answers with a smile, then rifles fire during the drill. A girl nearby screams in surprise and recovers, while a young man guides her toward the artillery as the scene shifts.
A British empire trade breakdown shows more than three quarters of commerce goes with foreign markets while the remaining share is exchanged within imperial realms. The finding underscores the empire's global economic reach and inter imperial ties.
A counsel questioned the plaintiff about the defendant's sincerity in a breach of promise case. The plaintiff testified the promise was made in the wash house with laughter and the defendant running his hands through his hair, provoking much mirth.
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