Improving the Iiha with a Poet’s Bold Touch
A playful note suggests enhancing the Iiha with a poetic style rivaling Homer. It imagines Percy Bysshe Shelley or a modern poet tackling epic rhythm to elevate the work.
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Articles on This Page
This newspaper page contains 34 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Jun 05, 1913
Page
3
Darwin Humble Humbug Joke From Schoolyard Plot
A tale recalls boys who bound a centipede with a beetle head butterfly wings and grasshopper legs and brought it to Darwin to name. They claimed it hummed, and Darwin declared it a humbug in a light, humorous exchange.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Darwin
King Georges Valets Run His Majestys Wardrobes
The chief valet oversees royal wardrobes and dress routines for King George. He prepares outfits, inspects garments, and coordinates packing for travels with two assistant valets. The chief speaks French German and Italian, travels worldwide with the king, and maintains the king’s habit of wearing a suit only after careful patterns and fittings.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Yralet
George
Curzon Makes Sharp Rail Travel Quip on Slow Train
The story recalls Lord Curzon of Kedleston rebuking a railway guard for a slow service. When told to get out and walk, he retorted that he would arrive when expected, noting the train would have to speed up first. The exchange shows his famed cutting humor.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lord Curzon
Kedleston
London
Passenger’s Menagerie Sparks Railway Fare Confusion
A maid brings a cat rabbit squirrel parrot and turtle to a country station. Guards misclassify pets as dogs or parrots to bypass fares. After hesitation the guard declares This is a hinseck and hinsecks travel free, ending the dispute.
War an Expensive Luxury
Jules Roche warns that a European war would be costly beyond measure. He cites the Franco German war costing about 1 665 000 dollars per day and estimates mobilization at 1 billion dollars for two months, then at least 6 million daily thereafter for 20 million men, with broader economic disruption and halted commerce and agriculture.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jules Roche
Fragmentary dialogue snippet noted
The text presents a fragmented conversation with names Fetie Verdgris Jones and a prompt about recalling and questioning changes in voice. It lacks clear news context or events to summarize further.
Anxious Traveler Fails To Flee Thawing Man
In a Midlands country town a famed talker enters an hotel claiming coldness. A nervous traveler begs the landlord to send his bill, fearing the man will thaw out and cause trouble. The scene blends humor with a strained social tension as the guest plans to depart.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
English Midlands
Riik
Landciety
Slow Coach or Billiard Cue Narrator’s Witty Exchange
A hotel scene centers on a slow guest who has taken much but given little. After multiple summons, a visitor learns the porter fends off friends with humor. The punchline reveals the man’s nickname ties to a tip paid for better service.
Baby's Own Tablets Proven Favorite by Ten-Year Use
Mothers across households report long term reliance on Baby's Own Tablets. Mrs Jas H Konkle of Beamsville Ontario testifies she has used them ten years and would not be without them while children are in the home. The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario sells boxes for 25 cents.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jas H. Konkle
Beamsville
Ont
Dr. Williams’ Medicine Co
Brockville, Ont
His Excuse About the Smiths and a Bad Cook Explain
A humorous dialogue reveals John admitting he told the Smiths he married due to his wife’s cooking. The wife counters she cannot boil an egg, and John says he made an excuse and did not know what else to say.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John
Smiths
Parmelee's Vegetable Pilis Endorsed for Delicate Women
A periodical notice extols Parmelee's Vegetable Pilis as mild effective remedies for women with digestive sensitivities. It claims no violent pains or purgings and cites widespread female use as justification for recommendation.
Poet Meliere Claims Diet Heals Him Without Doctors
The king asks how he uses his physician. Meliere replies they chat, then jokes he never follows prescriptions yet still recovers health. The exchange highlights his temperate diet as his sole restorative.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Meliere
New Georgia church minister delivers first sermon
At a Georgia church the new pastor preaches a moving sermon and prays for broad human needs. After the service a deacon asks a back corner listener how the sermon struck him. The reply says the minister asks God for things the previous preacher did not even know existed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Georgia
Joe
Postum boosts mental stamina over coffee and tea
A Western woman recounts switching from coffee to Postum improving coffee-heart symptoms, nerves, and overall energy. She notes kidney and bowel benefits within two weeks and stronger mental work capacity, crediting Instant Postum as a quick prepared beverage option. The ad cites Canadian Postum Co. Windsor Ontario and promotes a booklet.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Canadian Postum Co
Windsor
Nerviline advertised by Saskatoon user testimonial
A Saskatchewan reader from Saskatoon extols Nerviline noting relief from spine pain muscular aches and rheumatic neuralgia after a 50 cent bottle. The letter claims rapid cramp relief and stomach upset cure praising the Catarrhozone Co Buffalo New York USA distribution and home use.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. C. Caughlan
Saskatoon
Winnipeg
Catarrhozone Co
Buffalo
N.Y
U.8.a
Darkey asserts innocence in chicken theft case
An old man claimed he had a lawyer to defend him as he stood before the judge for allegedly stealing a chicken. He introduced himself as Johnsing and stated he was not the defendant, insisting he was the gentleman who stole the chicken.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Darkey
Johnsing
Honah
Father’s witty reply to son’s wartime vow
A fond father tells his son going to war that he would rather see him return alive than bring home an enemy’s head. The father’s blunt, humorous line reflects a pacifist wish for safety over glory.
Woman confides secret to friend fearing death
A woman says she always shares a secret with another person because she fears dying with no one left to keep it. The remark reflects anxiety about loss of trust and personal closure.
Ninth Annual Convention of Associated Advertising Clubs of America
The ninth annual convention will be in Baltimore from June 5 to 13 attracting about ten thousand delegates from the United States, Canada and abroad. General sessions at the Fifth Regiment Armory will feature leading advertising and business figures discussing progress, productivity and fraud in advertising. Prominent ad men will deliver lay sermons in Baltimore on June 8 with open forums on departmental issues, education and evening entertainments.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Baltimore
Sth
Associated Advertising Clubs of America
United States
Canada
Fifth Regiment Armory
Convention Bureau
North Calvert Street
Worm Exterminator Promises Protection for Children
An advertisement warns that worms in children cause convulsions and death if untreated. Mother Graves' Worm Exterminator claims to shield kids from these afflictions and offers a remedy.
Child asks if grandfather was in the ark
A child questions her grandfather's participation in the biblical ark and whether he survived the flood, prompting a gentle, humorous exchange about being saved and drowned.
Wanted two apprentices to be treated as family
A London shop-window notice offered two apprentices and promised they would be treated as family though the phrasing hints at discomfort at mealtime. The ad emphasizes a nice, homely environment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
London
Signature Claim for Bromo Quinine Laxative Cures
The note touts a single Bromo Quinine laxative with EF W Grove as signer claiming to cure a cod in one day and grip in two days for 26 cents.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
EF. W. Grove
Engraver Shortens Script on Tombstone Motto
A country sculptor was ordered to engrave a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband on a tombstone but, due to limited stone space, he shortened it to a virtuous woman is 5s to her husband.
Gossip Through the Ages Echoes in Dialogue
A light exchanges about ancestors as gossipers. One character muses on Darwin's theory of inherited traits, suggesting early humans shared a penchant for tale bearing across generations.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Fellows
Dr Morse's Indian Root Pills Advertised as Universal Remedy
The ad touts Dr Morse's Indian Root Pills as a medicine to open and regulate the bowels, treat constipation, and aid in breaking up colds or la grippe by cleansing the system and purifying the blood. It claims relief from biliousness indigestion sick headaches rheumatism and other common ailments.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dr. Morse
Tommy Mamma on Economy and Marriage Roles
The fragment presents Tommy and Mamma discussing economy as a theme. It hints at traditional gender roles with a son reflecting on a husband’s preaching and a wife’s practice, suggesting a cautionary view of domestic economy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tommy
Aviator Quip Sparks Talk on Descent
A terse exchange questions whether one should care about descent unless the person is an aviator. The remark echoes a humorous perspective on aviation pride and lineage.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hoggs
Baseball player questions piano healing after injury
A player injured two fingers in practice visits a doctor on the way home. He asks if he can play the piano once healed. The doctor assures him he will be able to. The player replies that he never could before, expressing surprise at the news.
Little house on the hill dreams come true
A poetic scene depicts a bright red hearth in a hillside dwelling where fairies dance and moonlit trees sigh. The speaker recalls a beloved whose golden eyes bring joy, confirming that the little house and dreams are becoming real.
Gossip as Idle Curiosity’s Fatal Cartridge
A fragment notes gossip as a dangerous byword for idle curiosity, likening it to a cartridge fired from a gun. The line suggests caution against spreading rumors and the harm caused by careless talk.
Superstitions about the number 13 questioned
A speaker questions superstition about the number 13 noting personal dislike tied to beliefs of bad luck. The remark contrasts views on luck and superstition.
Na Dru Co Dyspepsia Tablets Offer Quick Relief
An advertisement touts Na-Dru-Co Dyspepsia Tablets for chronic dyspepsia and related stomach troubles. It promises quick relief, digestion of hearty meals, and stronger digestion, urging readers to secure the product from druggists.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bobby Burns
Burns
S. National and Chemical Co. of Canada
Also Mentioned on This Page
Clark's
Saver
Clark
NRG Eke
Woodlawn
Deer Lodge
Stewart & Walker, Ltd
Sterling Bank
Innipeg
Hartwood
PANY
Lishted
Hamilton
Arlington CO
Maus
Winslow
Iiha
Homer
Percy
Dodds
King George
Fetie
Mr. Verd.gris
Jones
Baby’s
Inard
Liniment Lumbernan
Associated Advertising
CLUS
Marie
The
Minard
Vr. Mierse
Weholad
Canada Cement
Et- L . Ae Armmroba
Pore Ui
Cikisis
Farmers’ Information Departm Canada Cement Company Limited
Montreal
Vescen
Abbey
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