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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Jul 29, 1909
Page
3
At a Kansas country fair a man eyed an elk exhibit and told the keeper he wished to enter with his family but could not afford to pay for his wife and seventeen children. The keeper replies by bringing the elk out to see him.
The ad asserts Parmelee's V Pills cure dyspepsia by correcting stomach action and are a long trusted remedy. It notes widespread Canadian availability of Wilson’s Fly Pads. A light cartoonish quote from Tit-Bits and an opera anecdote from Chicago News are included as filler.
The document records Feark J. Cheney taking an oath as senior of F. J. Cuawer & Co promising one hundred dollars for each cataract case not cured by Hat's Catanans Cure.
A senator quips that an infant industry is identified by the loud noise it makes for attention, reflecting a dismissive tone about early growing sectors and government aid. Washington shares the remark as a playful critique of economic policy and industry growth.
A clerk in the Department of Agriculture sought special recognition from Secretary Wilson on the eve of cabinet changes. The exchange shows insiders hoping for favors as outgoing leaders reshuffle. Wilson replies he is a patient, long serving official, distancing himself from the plea.
If every housekeeper would use Wil son s Fly Pads during the summer months the house fly peril would become a thing of the past.
Agitation over officer pay yields a War Ministry request for an extraordinary credit of 400000 dollars. Officers have not seen a raise since 1870. Sub lieutenant earns six francs daily, lieutenant eight francs, while state officials enjoy recent stipends.
The Dutch baby Juliana, almost a month old, is described as blue eyed and fair haired. Prince Henry reportedly exclaims only a girl while the queen smiles. Names honor Juliana of Stolberg and Louise Emma Marie Wilhelmina. Muisjes gifts, astrologer’s verdict praise her future virtue and talents in art and science.
At Mrs Fitewoodie's party guests debated a famed phonologist. Dr Bump feller pretended to read bumps, while Herr Schpuntz the unknown pianist was praised as a musician by chance. The scene mixed satire and social prestige in a London Express tone.
A naturalist reports rats moving eggs through a house in Banffshire. One rat rolls the egg up stair by stair while another pulls with its tail, a remarkable athletic feat observed by the writer. The rats extract contents from a flask and repeat the process until all accessible contents are eaten.
The text notes Sir Isaac Newton trialing a thermometer concept not adopted. It mentions his proposal to use linseed oil as a heat cold indicator, with extremes defined by melting snow and human body heat.
The item notes three major Chinese festivals that are observed as legal holidays, namely the dragon festival the moon festival and the year festival. It presents them as traditional chief feasts keeping a cultural holiday rhythm.
Ancient Nile boat races appear early in Egyptian history. Virgil describes a four galley Trojan regatta in the Aeneid, and the term regatta derives from Italian, linking classical and Nile racing traditions.
Awaken liver and kidneys to cleanse the blood and relieve pains and fatigue. The pills restore digestion and bowel action, purifying the blood. one dose costs 25 cents, available from Edmanson Bates Co. Toronto.
Allandale G T R superintendent E Tiffin rode a freight train toward Allandale on a Sunday. While the engine climbed a steep grade near King, he ordered the top of a pine tree identified by the conductor to be moved to a new position to improve train clearance.
A short ad claims undigested food causes gas and stomach pains and that Parmelee's Vegetable Pills restore proper action. Simple directions accompany each packet and a systematic course is said to ensure a cure. Customer joke: a deaf man in a barber chair.
F M Doucet of Weymouth reports a valuable mare bruised by a wire fence. Dr Bell recommended Minard's Liniment, diluted then strengthened over three weeks. Sores healed, hair grew back and remained dark, not white, suggesting a successful recovery.
Mrs Jinks jokes her husband treats night duty as a marathon. He claims to have covered twenty six miles before 10 o clock last night while pacing with the baby, a running gag in Brooklyn Life.
A Cleveland Leader snippet shows a quarrel over claims about Minard's Liniment and its cure abilities. The exchange questions a husband and his perceived qualities, ending with a remark about expectations.
An advertisement touts Murine as a remedy for red weak weary and watery eyes with claims of soothing eye pain. It notes compounding by experienced physicians and warns of no injurious drugs while promising free eye books and baby use for scaly eyelids.
In a humorous exchange a young boy explains how a hydraulic elevator operates to a skeptical portly lady. He details water pressure, valves and counterpoises, asserting his knowledge and offering to manage the lift on a legal holiday.
Frederick J. Maynald recounts Liebig’s observation that louder grinding in iron mortars yielded better Prussian blue, as iron from worn machinery contaminated the mix. The anecdote highlights a paradoxical link between noise, wear, and pigment quality in early industrial chemistry.
A London cleric, Archbishop Tait, visits a Scottish hamlet and asks if there is any mail for Canter bury. The shopkeeper quips offering identity, and Tait confirms. The tradesman recalls a London shop son who heard him preach at St Paul’s Cathedral and was very pleased.
A University of Pennsylvania student explains his chronic 9 o clock absences with inventive tales. He claims a unique constitution prevents waking for that hour, cites an inaudible alarm and health quirks, and the professor suspects the truth may be stretched.
A collage of quotes notes that avoiding a stock loss would have prevented a $30,000 dip in two weeks. It also advertises Holloway’s Corn Cure claiming to remove callosities from corn or wart roots without flesh injury. A gag exchange about a wife’s posture accompanies a product plug for Wilson's Fly Pads sold by druggists and grocers.
A special convocation at the University of Toronto conferred an honorary LL D on David Boyle, curator of the Provincial Museum, at his bedside due to illness. Dean Galbraith presented the candidate and Prof. Ramsey Wright issued the degree in the absence of the chancellor, with only senate members and close friends present.
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