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This newspaper page contains 30 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Aug 12, 1909
Page
11
Rushing to the barn, Zeke Crosby fears a daughter may elope with a Summer boarder tonight. A hired man says Zeke is racing to ensure his auto won’t fail, hoping to interrupt or witness the plan.
Parmelee's Vegetable Pills are praised as small yet effective. They are described as a safe and simple remedy for stomach troubles, widely demanded by those who know their quality. The ad presents them as the best market preparation for stomach disorders.
The farmer, in a kind voice, offers a meal in exchange for splitting a cherry log into kin din's to honor George Washington. Frederick declines, saying it is not for him to follow in the footsteps of the great and good.
Warning against mercury based catarrh ointments and praising Hall's Catarrh Cure made by F J Cheney Co. as mercury free and effective. Claims cure works through blood and mucous surfaces with testimonials offered. Also advertises Hall's Family Pills for constipation at 75 cents per bottle.
A Washington Star cartoon caption recalls Plodding Pete who chops wood for a cake, only to receive a cake of soap instead. The tale hinges on a promised reward gone awry and the humorous misinterpretation of terms.
Wilson's Fly Pads are available at all druggists, grocers, and general stores.
Mrs. McGuley jokes that her daughter’s cooking school has made them value their regular cook, forcing constant wage raises whenever she threatens to quit. The quip appears in a witty line cited by the Washington Star.
A grateful father pleads with a doctor over a $500 bill for Minard's Liniment to cure his distemper ridden child. He offers 20 dollars a week and even pawning his clothes, but the doctor says the charge will be fine.
Red weak weary eyes find relief with Marine Eye Remedy created by experienced physicians. The product promises soothing relief for eye pain and irritation and is available through Marine Eye Remy Co of Chicago with an illustrated eye book for doctors and druggists.
A publisher urges a new author to describe the heroine's outfit, steering away from clichés. The writer counters with a playful line about Heloise appearing in a $600 dress, a $250 hat, a $98.76 mantle over a $375 lace coat, highlighting fashion as a plot device.
The Canadian Geological Survey resumes Eskimo ethnology led by Mr. V Stefansson and Dr. R M Anderson. The two year expedition will study northern Esquimaux from Cape Brown to Bathurst Inlet and the Coppermine mouth group untouched by white contact.
A mining camp near Hanging Stone Lake at Gowganda saw a fatal accident when dynamite fuse ignition triggered a blast. Andrew Dunn died from severe head injuries. Sims was stunned with neck wounds. Hackett had minor bruises. Dunn’s collie, which carried the explosive, escaped unharmed.
Whitby’s Mr. Holland, a renowned Sons of Temperance organizer, recalls a tour where a 250 pound weight limited his success. In Port Robinson a demure Worthy Patriarch quipped that Holland’s arrival seemed to be all of Holland and part Belgium, amid the lodge’s proceedings.
Miss Annie Nash of Carstairs Alberta will journey over a thousand miles to Hay River Hud son Bay post to wed Rev Alfred Vale English missionary formerly of Berlin Ont and a Wycliffe College graduate. Archdeacon Lucas and wife accompany them for a yearlong Canadian holiday and to perform the ceremony. The trip by rail stage scow and river steamer will take about two months and is rarely undertaken by a woman.
An ad style piece warns on anemia and malnutrition among growing girls and touts Dr Williams Pink Pills as a remedy. It stresses indoor confinement and worry draining blood, then includes a testimonial from Minnie Smith of Halifax praising the pills after weakness, headaches, and heart palpitations. The product is sold by druggists or mailed from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario.
An eccentric country squire hires a rustic to rid his mansion of flies with board lodging and beer for three days. After no progress the squire asks why. The witty worker replies that he promised to kill them not catch them, insisting the squire must catch the flies first.
Dr Thomas Electric Oil is presented as carefully researched and effective for healing. The text claims it blends specific oils with proven curative qualities and asserts it has earned public favor since its introduction. A trial is said to prove its healing power to skeptical readers.
The Detroit Free Press quotes a playful exchange about phrenology as a boy asks what a person who reads heads is called. The punchline suggests his mother sent for a reading after a quick “swim” of the head, adding local humor to the clipping.
Moise Derosce of St. Phillippe Quebec reports buying a horse claimed incurable for 30 dollars. After applying Minard's Liniment costing one dollar the horse was cured and sold for 85 dollars, yielding a 54 dollar profit on the liniment.
A Kentucky girl sent to a New York boarding house for finishing school avoids social stigma by claiming her father is a Southern planter. The truth about her father, an undertaker, risks her caste among peers in the reform era anecdote from Lippincott.
Experts from the United States Government show flies carry thousands of disease germs on their hairy bodies. Wilson's Fly Pads continuously used prevent infection by killing the germs from this source.
A British army corps staged a rapid mobilization with nearly twenty thousand men ready to entrain. Lieut Gen Smith-Dorrien ordered alarm and full out mobilization across units, ambulatory stores, and field rations, proving the efficiency of the mobilization plan and leaving troops convinced an invasion could be underway.
In the early 1800s a small bell said to be connected to St. Fillan was stolen from Killin. Thought to heal madness, it was used in dipping the afflicted at the saint’s pool. Rumor claimed the bell would ring and seek its owner as it traveled home. An antiquary later claimed the act to curb superstition.
Dialogue shows a ship captain learning of a changed era as a young crew member explains the old family fool is no longer sent to sea. The exchange hints at evolving maritime customs and authority aboard.
In St John New Brunswick Monsignor Connolly of the Church of St John the Baptist spots an elderly parishioner glancing at his watch. He quips that it is twenty minutes past eleven and that at a quarter to twelve the sermon will end, encouraging the man to leave his watch in his pocket.
The article argues nerve strain from modern life drains energy and advocates Dr. Chase's Nerve Food as a restorative. It claims blood richness aids recovery and notes headaches neuralgia sleeplessness and irritability improve with the remedy. Available at 50 cents a box from dealers or Edmanson Bates Co Toronto.
The passage recalls the King counting money and the Queen at home, as a speaker notes townsfolk pretend to travel abroad. It reflects a playful view of daily life in past eras and an observer’s reflection.
Parmelee's Vegetable Pills, made solely from plant substances, have earned a standard medicine status through years of use. They are simple to compose, easily assimilated by weak stomachs, and reliably improve sluggish digestion.
Mrs Campton invites the captain to a dance next Friday evening, asking for the pleasure of his company. Corporal Ginnis responds that some of the guests cannot dance.
Mrs Brown fears her husband may not recover before Friday when she hosts the afternoon card club. The humorous note contrasts a medical cure with social pressure in Detroit.
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