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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Pas Herald
Location
The Pas, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Nov 27, 1913
Page
11
An old man sits in a churchyard on a raised tombstone as a tramp comments on spring weather. The exchange turns pensive until the man reveals he has three wives buried there, underscoring a hidden past and unsettling mood.
In a brief comedic exchange, a barber jokes about dyeing hair, and a customer replies that the hair was dyed about five years ago, highlighting a playful misunderstanding at a barbershop.
An Oklahoma hunter who found a little boy lost for days refused the $500 reward offered for the child's return, saying the happiness of reuniting the family was reward enough for him. The story underscores the adage that virtue is its own reward as the finder acts without seeking payment.
The remark ponders the paradox of a complete day being fractured by time. It implies daily life is constantly divided as activities begin and end, never yielding a single undivided 24 hour span.
An 1841 inscription found on a crosscut timber in the Rockies is attributed to Sir George Simpson and his guide James Roland. Brewster of Banff takes the fragment as evidence of Simpson’s overland world journey, while Gibbon notes the 19 month voyage and compares it to modern 36 day circumnavigations set alongside earlier Hudson Bay Company history and Simpson’s role in northwest affairs.
A railway ticket collector in England asked for a ticket from a jolly passenger. The drunk passenger refused with a hiccup and settled in. The collector checked the fare table and quoted five shillings sixpence. The passenger pauses, then says eleven.
A short note suggests placing a watch within to deaden the ticking sound. The tip implies focusing attention inward to mute external disruption and maintain mental calm.
The New York board of health reports four years of study on marital status and death rates. Married men aged 20 to 29 show 4.4 deaths per thousand, vs 6.6 for single men, 12 for widowed or divorced. Similar patterns persist across ages 30–39 and 50–59, with widowed and divorced men highest. The findings echo old jokes about marriage, noting compensation in home life offsets the mortality gap.
One hundred and thirty-one shooters faced the traps in the Western Trap shooters league tournament held July 26 in Danbury Connecticut. The main event high score was 97 of 100 by W. R. Newsome of Hartford using Remington AMC speed shells on the state chatno.
An old sailing captain, famed for evasive replies, outwits four friends who try to learn his pigeons price along the street. He answers with money, they don t go, I bought a half dozen, and for eat. The tale ends with his refusal to disclose the purchase price. Also touts Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil as camp aid for wet feet and injuries.
A young dandy visits an optician and tests eyeglasses. When the first pair fail, he jokes about stronger ones. If they break, the optician retorts to get an intelligent dog and a yard of string, delivering a sharp punchline. The anecdote preserves a blunt old time humor tone.
A Boston claim credits a simple sanitation scheme for ridding the city of flies. Removing manure from stables daily and tightly covering garbage cans supposedly destroys breeding grounds, a method touted as better and more effective than swatting mature flies.
A brief civic tone discusses progress and church governance with questions over adding a gymnasium or a garage as potential facilities. The text frames choosing the path as a matter of institutional alignment and community needs.
A fragment advises warming a knee with a wrung towel soaked in cold water, covered by a dry cloth and a warm flannel. It suggests the knee will rest and become almost well during the night.
Sandford recalls catching a trespasser and a conversation about a notice board. The trespasser admits seeing the board but claims not to read beyond Private. The exchange underscores a warning that trespassers will be prosecuted on Sandford's ground.
A fragment recalls a top floor blaze where a nervous first expert jokes about a goose and a quick exit. The second expert notes crowds watched from the street as flames threatened, yet he remained calm and walked down the stairs.
David Henderson of Belleisle Station Kings County New Brunswick writes that after suffering a bleeding facial tumor for a long time and trying many remedies he used Minard's Liniment. After several bottles the tumor healed completely and disappeared. Dated September 17 1904.
A brief exchange has a speaker admitting poor conversational skill and another urging her to cultivate the habit. The line highlights a pragmatic tip for social interaction and self-improvement framed in a concise dialogue.
The piece notes that matches are ubiquitous in homes and pockets, found in desks and drawers, and handled carelessly. It warns that this prevalence contributes to a high number of fires across the region, urging safer use and awareness of match safety.
Love may be blind but it hears when a husband returns late and trips over mission furniture, prompting a humorous domestic mishap in this light column.
A seven foot fast bowler tries for a cricket club and shatters three stumps in the first over. Spectators cheer while the captain worries as the bowler insists on keeping the pace, jokingly framed as a hard up club match.
The renowned living composer Mme. Cecil Chiminade has been made a member of the Legion of Honor in France. This marks the third time she has received international recognition, with two other countries prior acknowledging her musical genius.
Two observers in the British Museum study a Roman gladiator statue. Its arm is broken, a leg ends at the knee, and the helmet is battered with face chips. An inscription reads Victory. A witty remark questions how the loser might fare in such a victory.
In a tiny exchange, a pupil asks what force moves the world and a classmate offers a witty reply about the landlord as a humorous twist.
The Board plans to spend thirty thousand dollars this year on concrete lanes. Concrete over gravel, without extra top dressing, has grown popular in eastern and American cities. A Kingsway rear lane was laid this spring and shows promising results.
The worm treatment by Mother Graves operates without aid from other medicines and consistently achieves its intended effect. It performs its task reliably, with no reported failures in its action.
A brief cartoon style exchange shows a postmistress telling an elderly woman her letter is overweight and must bear another stamp. The old woman quips that adding a stamp would only make it heavier, highlighting the humorous mismatch in expectation.
A Boston attorney recalls an American tourist touring London aboard the Victory, Nelsons flagship. An English sailor guides him to a brass tablet marking where Nelson fell, and the tourist humorously claims the marker nearly tripped him as he raised his hat in reverence.
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