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Newspaper
Pas Herald
Location
The Pas, Manitoba, Canada
Date
May 28, 1914
Page
6
A humorous exchange imagines judgment day with a grim earth sinking into darkness. Grant counters that an optimistic investor might seize the moment to buy stocks. The dialogue satirizes panic and finance amid catastrophe.
A playful exchange features Willie and Uncle discussing why the egg spoon behaved oddly. The child notes the steak’s tenderness as the humorous trigger, creating a lighthearted moment.
Howard asks about his daughter’s marriage to an English nobleman and Coward confirms her wealth with Minard’s ointment for sale everywhere. The dialogue questions women’s bravery and whether more would marry for fortune.
Winnipeg woman Orilla Bradley recounts severe illness from a tumor deemed inoperable by doctors at Victoria Hospital Montreal. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for years she credits the treatment with saving her life and urges others to seek advice from the Lydia E Pinkham Medicine Co in Lynn Massachusetts.
A bedtime fable has an owl judge and a boy named Johnny accused of taking eggs from a bird nest. The jury of bird villagers convicts him in a dream, forbidding him from returning to the woods, before he wakes and vows not to repeat the act.
Local ad promotes Bromo Quinine Laxative claiming a cold can be cured in one day. Signature lines as E. W. Grov. price listed as 26 cents. The copy emphasizes “genuine call for full name” and single product usage.
Mrs. Jones and her two daughters Eleanor and Marion travel in Europe. Eleanor plans routes, Marion handles negotiations. Confusion leads Mrs. Jones to board the wrong carriage and Eleanor quietly tells Marion to demand she exit. The judge notes the humorous misunderstanding.
The London Daily Mail denounces the British navy programme as meagre with four battleships four light cruisers and twelve destroyers. Critics say the admiralty overestimates needs and delays Canadian dreadnoughts vital from 1916 for global empire defense.
A shy suitor wins a kiss after the rose in his buttonhole prompts the bold move. The girl retrieves the moment by asking for the rose, prompting the bashful man to depart with a humorous line about thirst for more roses.
Yale president Arthur T. Hadley spoke in New Haven about youth being modest while disputing the popular notion of youth epitomized by a common anecdote. He remarked that he does not share the belief that youth are certain they know it all.
A father greets his son Johnny returning from vacation and asks about school. Johnny replies he has learned to say “Tasox yor and If you please” in French, prompting the father to remark that this is more than he learned in English.
The Chicago Tribune recalls a quip about being right before acting and a joke about writing the word how. Willie is challenged by a teacher at the blackboard but answers with a playful line about blowing a horn.
Promote Dr Williams Pink Pills as a year round blood builder and nerve tonic. The ad claims the pills increase red blood, improve digestion, clear skin, ease rheumatic pains, and raise vitality. Available by mail from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario. 50 cents a box or 2 1/2 dollars for six boxes.
A parent recounts Little Johnny’s day of mischief ending with a plan to send him to bed without dinner after he hits his sister. Johnny then quips he will wait until after dinner next time to hit her. The exchange showcases a child’s witty retort to discipline.
Minnesota leads east of the Rockies with 28 million acres of forest. New Hampshire has four million acres of timber land some on farmers wood lots. US forest fires claim about 70 lives yearly and burn 25 million dollars of timber. Canada opens a McGill forest products lab mirroring Wisconsin. Planting seasons run spring after snow melt and fall with rains and first snows.
The letter a complains of exhaustion and explains being overworked on the Panama Canal. Investigators find grounds for the complaint after examining the matter.
A witty exchange shows a young housekeeper debating turkey prices with a butcher who insists on selling the bird with its feet. The humorous dialogue highlights persnickety price concerns and the butcher’s candid stance on authenticity of poultry presentation.
A humorous column ties appetite to identity. It notes Harry has eaten a lobster every night for years, illustrating a playful argument about how food shapes a person.
A Philadelphia Public Ledger passage notes uncertainty about whether a man is a country gentleman, replying that only his town behavior is visible.
A courtroom snippet notes a lawyer remarking that the cross examination did not rattle the interrogated party while mentioning Kent and six children as part of the context.
A shopper asks for socks for her husband and identifies him as number three, prompting the clerk to request a size. The brief exchange captures a domestic shopping moment with a humorous twist.
Excerpted reflection parallels nature and society as rivers erode obstacles to form regular paths. It argues collective human effort aligns with natural processes, eliminating irregularities and seeking normalcy and progress through coordinated action. From Scott Nearing's Social Sanity.
Pierre Le Brecque and Edward Pepin lead a large group of Fall River and New Bedford French residents selling property to settle in Calgary Alberta. They returned from a 3006 mile Canadian tour through Alberta Manitoba and Saskatchewan with glowing reports. Wages of 35 to 45 cents an hour attract colonists. Le Brecque is selling his Fall River store.
The mother claims she hopes the doctor will not forget her son Algy threw the brick that struck the Smith boy. The doctor confirms a good fee for attending to the rich Smith boy. The exchange appears in London Opinion.
Pembroke Ontario special reports Mrs Mobile Lance, long plagued by feverish sleep, dizziness, rheumatism and kidney trouble, found relief with Dodd's Kidney Pills after twelve boxes. She asserts kidney trouble caused her ailments and credits the remedy with her complete recovery. Thousands of Canadians echo the claim of kidney cure.
Five members of the Warren rifle team, Warren Pennsylvania, scored 999 of 1000 to establish a new world indoor record for .22 calibre shooting at 75 feet. The feat occurred in a National Rifle Association league match, with Remington UMC ammunition, and helped Warren capture the US championship in this class.
Dialog hints at Amy's reluctance to marry Mr Dooling due to fear of unkind behavior. A prior monument for Dooling’s first wife is cited as a possible counterpoint. The excerpt suggests social pressures and personal history influence marriage decisions.
A reader recalls curling hair with a newspaper full of crimes, noting the unsettling effect of the stories on the appearance and mood, as if the paper itself sparked a shiver.
Arthur-Fredy says living costs are unchanged over ten years. Egbert notes he lived on his father then and now on his father-in-law, reflecting shifting support sources as circumstances change.
The druggist or medicines dealer will tell you that Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil is in greater demand than any other for pains in joints muscles nerves neuralgia and rheumatism. It is claimed to have superior healing properties compared to other oils.
A caller identifies as the new collector for Dunn and Dunn and asks to be admitted to the house, presenting the firm as the source of the inquiry and request for settlement.
Mrs. Smart learns why rival Mr. Flibb's credit has improved. An overheard remark suggests his wife wears elegant new hats and gowns, implying funds or favors behind the change.
A six year old asks if a little girl like her could be arrested for playing suffragette. The mother reassures no, prompting the child to feel relieved and gleeful about the unlikely risk.
The Juke of Sutherland has decided to offer for sale 200000 acres of his Sutherland estate by auction in October.
An ad claims Catarrhozone cures for itchy nose burning eyes and chronic catarrh in minutes. It asserts relief from colds throat irritation and coughs without drugs, and cites a Sydney testimonial. The outfit costs 1.00 with smaller sizes available at dealers.
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