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Newspaper
Pas Herald
Location
The Pas, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Dec 25, 1913
Page
6
A brief note featuring Mike an embryonic Tammany statesman posing a question about political economy. The line implies a cynical view equating political success with buying votes or maximizing votes for minimal cost.
Residents recall the loud old man who washed his face at the village pump each morning, his splashing and clanging a familiar dawn sound once heard far beyond the square.
A humorous note questions whether popcorn, praised by agricultural authorities as cheap and digestible, remains a feasible breakfast option when someone is truly hungry. The snippet reflects light, playful commentary on food and appetite.
In brief items today the papers note the Panama Canal opened yesterday and is now handling traffic well. Officials report steady business and smooth operations as ships pass through the newly opened waterway.
A columnist reflects that the stern critic who reproves you most often is the one who cares deeply. The piece explores how tough love and honest rebuke reveal loyalty and intent to improve.
The Ton Minister of Agriculture announces a winter and spring distribution of seed grains and potatoes to Canadian farmers. Samples include spring wheat 5 lbs, white oats 4 lbs, barley 6 lbs, field peas 5 lbs, and potatoes 3 lbs. Apply with farm soil details, experience, separate signed letters, one grain and one potato sample per farm, early to avoid disappointment.
Thousands of mothers testify to the product praised for worms and pests control, noting proven results from experience.
Bluffer bursts into the club in a rage and seats himself in an easy chair after slamming his hat down. He confesses to kicking a man out of his house last night, lamenting old codgers courting young girls. The man turned out to pursue his mother in law, not his daughter.
An Irvington professor asks what galactagogues are given to cows. The Purdue graduate milkman responds that their feed is entirely vegetable, rich in chlorophyll and graceful qualities, and orders the professor to fetch a pint.
Brazil dominates as the richest nation in white coal or water power. The Iguassu falls on the Argentina frontier surpass Niagara in height and volume, with a drop of fifty meters and about 14 million horsepower. Nearby Sete Quedas on the Paraguay frontier and Paulo Alfonso on the San Francisco River add significant capacity.
A seaside exchange shows a boy offering to hold a horse to prevent its escape. the owner declines, explaining the animal won’t run away, and the boy clarifies his intent was to restrain rather than to trap or mistreat.
A tale recalls a man carrying a note to a president who had by then been replaced. He discovers a new leader, a stout woman around 800 pounds learning roller skating who falls. Attendants rush to help as a sleeper joke shifts to a quip about the floor being lumpy. A tiny voice explains he is the attendant.
A sharp exchange reveals a doctor advertising mustard plasters as a remedy and joking that he prescribes them strongly even for restless patients at night. The banter underscores a satirical defense of unconventional cures.
A mother and daughter exchange lines over geography with a playful pun. The daughter claims misplacing her geography and the mother jokes about writing the answer, then suggests a humorous replacement pun about “hut” instead of find.
A penescente is defined as one who asks others questions to answer them himself. The term highlights a philosophical stance strongest when others are unhappy.
John Clark aged eighty two takes charge at the national botanic gardens in Waethington after declining the post fourteen years earlier. Don Carlos Maria Lynch receives the cross of the Sacred Treasure from the Japanese emperor for services in easing Japanese-Chill talks. John MacVickar, Canadian by birth, once Des Moines mayor, now a Des Moines city council member and streets department superintendent. General Carlo Caneva, honored by the Australian emperor, led Italian forces in Tripoli in 1911 and is premier rank below the king as generale d esercito.
An elderly employer Mr Jones fires his late, evasive office boy Alexander Baldwin after a string of tardiness. The boy explains slips due to icy pavements and reveals he considered turning back home rather than continue to work.
Willie endures taunts about doctors from schoolmates until faced with the question Do you ever take medicine. He calmly replies I haven't any doctor at all revealing his humorous yet defiant stance against the relentless pestering.
A playful caption describes a woman not as a bookkeeper but as a dressmaker using figures to craft clothing, highlighting skill, precision, and creativity in tailoring.
A humorous proverb notes that some men are born good while others gain virtue through their wives influence. The line reflects social outlook on marriage and character in lighthearted fashion.
A man strolls into an employment agency with a tired smile and asks about vacancies. He cites his trade as a coronation programme seller but the clerk says no openings exist in that line. He offers to take any suitable job and suggests calling out station names on an Atlantic liner.
Sir Ernest Shackleton recalls a Scotland lecture where costs topped profits. He paid 25 dollars for the hall 20 dollars for advertising and a pound extra. An old man two men and two women attended. He offered pay to guard the horse but the cabman refused. Five attendees at a quarter each total 1.25 dollars. The wife points out 50 cents deduction for cook and maid.
A Massachusetts minister on his first Kentucky visit spends the night in a mountain town where whiskey and moonshine are common. He finds the state bibulous and a local man replies that there aren’t twenty five Bibles in all Kentucky.
A jocular old joke suggests that Fay The Wilow Dashaway’s husband left her little at death but much in life. The quip notes his frequent leaving while alive.
In Gwalior India a headman trapped four man-eating lions for two weeks then released thousands of sheets of fly paper before the hut entrance. The lions rushed out blinded by the sticky sheets, rolled on the ground, and were captured with ropes and lassos, flypaper attached.
A captain tests new recruits by asking Private Murphy why a soldier should be ready to die. Murphy hesitates then answers with a wry smile, “Sure, captain, you’re quite right. Why should he?” The jest highlights a humorous exchange on duty and sacrifice.
A boy named James indulges in pudding, arguing against limits as his mother warns of danger. He continues to eat, insisting there is no such thing as too much pudding and chases a larger serving despite his mother’s caution.
A story notes a boy correcting a sentence about animals in a stable. He argues the phrase should read The cow and the horse was in the stable. because ladies always ought to go first.
Disfiguring warts vanish after treatment with Holloway's Corn Cure, a remedy marketed to remove corn growths and related skin issues. The claim emphasizes effective disappearance of warts following use.
The stage manager insists the heroine must endure more grief than others in the play. The leading woman protests yet agrees to simulate the audience’s sorrow, declaring she will imagine herself among the two dollar ticket buyers.
A reflective note on modesty in women's dress, asserting restraint in attire and demeanor remains a constant standard. It argues that true modesty endures regardless of changing fashions and echoes the quiet dignity of a modest woman in any era.
A columnist notes hoop skirts are coming back and men may have to give up the one hook in the clothes closet, reflecting on shifting fashion norms and gendered expectations.
The article notes a Babylonian school around 5200 years before Christ and cites modern debate over whether most ancient wisdom arose there or more recently in the last few decades. It frames a contrast between ancient origins and recent suppositions.
Agnes reveals to Emma that she and George are to be married next month, prompting Emma to admit she cannot keep secrets.
A reflective note suggests some men try to console themselves by hoping they could improve if they exerted effort. It frames self improvement as achievable through deliberate effort rather than fate.
A Zulu prince studying at Harvard is earning money as a waiter. He expresses ambition to work as a Pullman porter someday, showing practical prep for life after school.
A debtor claims a thousand dollars is owed after taking a car, while a creditor presses for repayment. The exchange hints at ongoing dispute and potential further action.
A concise simile compares conceit to a pneumatic tire that cushions a man through rough jolts, illustrating how self-importance can smooth a tough ride.
A reflective line notes that there is always a woman in the world whom some sincere man regards as the whole world. The statement frames idealized devotion as a universal sentiment across people.
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